Wont Go Home Without You
by glorysmile
Summary: We all know what was going through Bella's mind on her way to Italy to save Edward, but what was going through his? From boarding the plane destined to Italy, to the very end of New Moon, it's all in Edward's POV. now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer and each other(:  
But I do own Robert Pattinson.  
Kinda.  
Okay, not really.

**A/N:** I love writing in Edwards PoV, I don't understand why everyone else finds it painful. He's so dark and...yummy :) rofllll.  
**This is just a teaser, which explains the shortness.  
**Well, this is my first fanfic, so, please tell me if you thought it sucks. And, please pleaseee tell me if you thought it was awesome :D  
_-Edwards Smile_

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I didn't know where _she_ went. Hell, I was still having trouble figuring out _why_ she went.

Was she in heaven? Dare I ask, could she be in hell?

Heaven is where an angel like her belonged, but I probably damned her to hell the first time I laid my eyes on Isabella Marie Swan.

I thought leaving her was a good idea. I thought leaving her was in her best interest. It had been almost a half a year now, and, from what I expected, she was doing nicely in her new life. Her new life without me.

I had no idea how utterly wrong I was.

There had to be another reason. She couldn't have done this because of me, there was no way. Why would she? I had hurt her more than anyone in the world, as Alice so generously told me. Bella, I winced at her nickname, was bound to hate me. Months were enough time for humans to get over someone, wasn't it?

If I was her reasoning for this, then...

Then I had to do something about it.

There was no point to forever if it didn't include Bella alive, I had decided that a long time ago...Back when I could hold her, kiss her. And risk falling into temptation by sucking her dry and lifeless. Like I said, leaving her was in her best interest.

I stepped on the plane that was headed to Italy, with a smile. If I somehow made it to Heaven, I would see Bella. But I knew there was no way I was going up, I was bound to make the fall to the pits of Hell, if there was one. But maybe God would take slight pity on me and allow me to see her one last time...Before the Devil summoned me.

I was going to end this madness, this torture, once and for all. I didn't know how, though. I remember a while back explaining to _her_, it had become too painful to think he name again, about the Volturi, and how you only provoked them if you had a death wish, which is exactly what I had.

But provoke them how? I hadn't ever given it much thought, I had no reason to until now. My life had been somewhat complete with the knowlege the owner of my heart was alive.

But now she wasn't. Bella was dead. Bella was dead. Bella was _dead_.

I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the irritating thoughts of the stewardess who was staring with wide, curious, slightly lustful eyes. She didn't know that I was a crazed, suicidal, vampire who could kill her and everyone else on this plane in less than 10 seconds. Besides, she wasn't Bella.

I pretended to sleep, so they wouldn't get suspicious as to why I didn't even doze off even for a few moments, especially with this long flight.

Then it clicked.

It was easy, all I had to do was ask. Carlisle was their friend, all I had to do was respectfully explain the situation, maybe they'd take pity on me.

And if that didn't work, I always had Plan B. Expose myself. It _was_ a very popular celebration (Which happened to be about a vampire hunter, who was really a vampire. Ironic, eh?), I could easily be spotted by hundreds, maybe even thousands of people in a few seconds.

I mused ideas on how to expose myself. I could lift a car over my head to show my strength, it would almost be too easy. They wouldn't exactly be happy with that, and I would be taken care of immediately. And then I could see Bella again.

I was lost in my thoughts on what I was going to say to the Vulturi, I had lost track of time. That's a first, usually moments went by so slow, except for when I was with Bella. Those times never went slow enough. Sometimes I wished I had the power of time travel, and not this stupid mind-reading thing. Time travel would be much more useful.

But I wouldn't change me leaving Bella. Oh no, I would go back and stop from ever even _meeting_ Bella Swan. It would save her from everything, from falling in love with a vampire, to being bit by one, to killing herself over one. She would be alive right now, living a nice, normal life. Maybe even dating Mike Newton. They probably would have been together if it wasn't for me.

Everything that happened in Bella's life from the moment our eye's met has been because of me. Some may of called what we had an obsession, but we perfered to call it love.

I loved her.

No.

I _love_ her.

* * *

_Please Review & tell me if you want more. I'll post it otherwise, obviously, but the ego boost wouldn't hurt at all ;D I should have Chapter 1 up sometime within the next week or so. I have Finals until Tuesday, but then I have work. So, please be patient, and review this while you wait!_

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer and each other.

**A/N:** Ugh, one person reviewed my last chapter, so I have no idea if people will read this or not. Please review, I don't want to be wasting my time if this isn't good, lol.  
And, my friend has my New Moon book at the moment, so I wont be updating that much until I get it back, which should be in a few days. Plus my work is becoming overwhelming, due to horse-racing season, and it will be until Julyish. Expect me to not finish until August. Boo.

_The first couple chapters are going to be short, just a warning. Please bear with me, they'll get longer and much more detailed once he gets to the Volturi (:_

* * *

For me, what we had..have...was more than a teenaged fling, considering I was over 100 years old, but it had to be almost nothing to her, she was only 18. There **had** to be other reasoning for her to just nose-dive off a cliff. Was she falling behind in her studies? No, Bella was an excellent student, even if she tried otherwise. Did she miss her mother too much? Did something happen to Charlie?

Did she have another relationship and it didn't work out? Did she love them more than she loved me, if that at all?

That had to be it. Someone else left her. It couldn't have been me. I mean, if it was, she would have killed herself a long time ago, not almost six months later! It would be absolutely absurd of her, and Bella wasn't absurd when it came to life.

Well...nevermind. I mean, she did want desperately to become on of us, a Cullen. A vampire.

What was I thinking? Bella didn't care about life, and her wants were proof enough. Bella was suicidal, so it couldn't have been me!

Either way, it didn't matter. She was dead, and no matter what the source of her cliff-dive was, she was always going to be dead. Nothing could change that or bring her back, so I was stuck in Hell once more without her. But that would be easily taken care of.

I knew Alice would see my decision, but I hoped I had waited at least when I was half way across the Atlantic to brainstorm, I forgot to check. Even if she did somehow get over here, I wouldn't let the small monster stop me. I could keep her off easily just long enough to expose myself, or get down to the Volturi quick.

Someone has to hate me. I must have killed the wrong person when I went on my 'rebellion', as Carlisle put it, spree a while back, it would explain a lot. It would explain why, out the of trillions of places on earth, the most irristiable blood had been **my** science lab partner. Why I fell in love with the girl who had the irristiable blood. Why she had to love me back. Why she wanted to become _us_. And, most importantly, why she was now dead.

_I_ desearved to die, if anyone. I was wrongly given this...this _blessing_, as some might call everlasting life, although I perfer curse. If anyone desearved to live, it would be Bella. She may not be the most graceful human, but her heart was as big as the universe. In her life, it was everyone else first, and Bella second.

My life was always Edward first, everything else, not even on the list. Well, then came Bella, who changed the list so many times I'd forgotten about it. But my number one was never myself again. Even now, even when she was dead, she was first. She would always be first.

If I could cry, I'd be hysterical right now. Another one of the many things I hate about being a vampire; I couldn't mourn properly for Bella. I felt trapped in this body, all of my emotions were making me clausterphobic. I believe humans called this a panic attack.

_Maybe I should ask him if he wants a drink or something_, To my utter dismay, the oringinator to these thoughts was the irritating Stewardess who looked as if she was in her mid-thirties. Too old for my body, too young for my age. Not Bella. I was completely uninterested.

"Would you like anything?"

I turned my icey stare to her, listening as her pounding pulse went from a steady beat to a drum sound at a rock concert. "No." I allowed my annoyance shine through my voice, as well as my hostile stare.

Unfortunately, her thoughts didn't register any of my hostality, her reaction was just basic human survival instincts. I hadn't ment to trigger the useless emotions, I wanted for her to stop undressing me in her thoughts and save me from the mental imagary.

I would give anything to be able to pry open this window seperating me and the 10,000 foot drop to the earth, and jump.

If only that would end me, if only it were that simple. But, no. Once again, God, or someone, some_thing_ hated me, or they enjoyed toying with me like I was a puppet with no feelings. They made it so my kind couldn't just do simple things to kill ourselves, say, jump off a cliff. We had to provoke other vampires to do so. Never in my life, or, better yet, afterlife, have I wished to be human so much than I have in the past year and a half.

If I were human, I'd be able to have Bella, to hold her, kiss her...Be _human_ with her. I wouldn't had to put all my energy into making sure she came home alive. I wouldn't had left her.

But, then again, Bella wouldn't have lasted four weeks within me knowing her. Tyler's van would have crushed her if it wasn't for me and my abilities. That was one of the blessings of this curse. I could protect Bella easily from harm's way. But only if I was around her.

How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? Leaving Bella not only was the worst thing I could have ever done, but the most dangerous. I protected her from all that could harm her. I saved her life countless times, she lived to see her 18th birthday because of me, and now she wouldn't see her 19th, because of me.

Alice and Emmett both said I overreacted with the Jasper situation, he did get uncontrol quickly, and say he could handle it if it happened again. But I wasn't about to let it happen again, I wanted Bella's death to me natural and human, not caused by a bloodthirsty vampire. I also never wanted to be in the position where I was forced to turn her into one of us.

My mind was set on Bella staying human, no matter what Alice's visions were saying. I knew the best way for her to stay mortal was if we left her life entirely. I was being selfish, I should have known this day would come, where she would die. But I figured I still had another 60 odd years ahead of me, not just six mere months.

I was a bigger monster for walking away from Bella than I was while I was killing those criminals. I moped around for a half year because of _myself_. I had broken my own hard, cold, heart, as well as Bella's.

I was happy most of the thoughts floating around the plane were in another language, having gotten a direct flight from Brazil to Italy, surprised there was one. I understood some of it, but not much, Portoguse was never my strong language.

I felt the plane tilt slightly, which caused me to look out the window curiously. I sensed something in the deep of my throat, not thirst, but _familiarity_, as odd as it sounds. My curse had been homesick, I mused, and now it was home.

I planned what I had to say in my head. There wasn't much of a variety, considering the subject. What would I say?

_Hello, I'm part of Carlisle Cullen's coven, and I was wondering if you would please kill me. The girl I loved, who, by the way, was human, commited suicide, and I'm just following in her tracks. Go ahead and make it painful, it doesn't matter to me! Just get the job done!_

Yeah, I'm sure they get that all the time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**A/N:** Sorry it took me so long to get this out... I'm a compulsive editor, and I wanted to make this chapter a resonable length, because the last two have been unbelievably short. I'm really sorry about that, and I hope this Chapter makes up for it :)  
& I've decided that even if a lot of people aren't reviewing, that's fine. As long as _someone_ is. After all, I'm writting for my own enjoyment, and other people are welcome to enjoy it as well :)

* * *

Volterra.

The thoughts hummed around me like a symphony, the different pitches somehow soothing. I will not have to endure this hell any longer, I'll be dead soon.

Dead! Ha! What a funny word going through my mind. The only people I ever talked to were destined to live forever, such as myself, so the word 'dead' never crossed my mind in the first person speech. But I always knew Bella would die someday. It was just bound to happen, she was, after all, a human.

Bella. _My Bella_ was gone. Dead. I didn't know how many times I had to think that before I actually believed it, I was still having trouble doing so. Pain shot through my already aching body, it felt as if I was being ripped apart limb by limb, if that even begins to sum it up. I loved her so much, and I had basically shoved her off that cliff. _Why, Bella? Oh why?_ I cried out to my love, hoping heaven accepted messages from bastards like me.

Being the selfish monster I was, I wished that I had turned her into a vampire when I had the chance. Back when the wretch tracker James had attempted at killing her, but only got a bite in. I remembered how amazing her blood had tasted, when I decided to suck the venom out. The memory of the warmth and taste of her burned the back of my throat, sending the monster inside of me on a thirsty meltdown. But, somehow, just the memory of Bella's sweet blood kept it somewhat tame enough for me to pass so many people, as well as the knowlege that none of the humans held the blood I was craving; for she was dead.

I walked the streets slowly, soaking up the thoughts of the strangers, curious as to what they thought of a deathly pale boy walking alone in the city. No one thought it was strange, Italy was much more different than America.

I allowed my feet to carry me to the oddly familiar doors to a oddly familiar building, I looked up, my eyes trailing the uneven bricks up to the roof. This was it, I sighed contently, I was finally going to stop hearing those voices. Stop worrying about tomorrow might bring. Stop living forever.

I pushed open the very normal looking doors and opened the doors to the basement stairs. I remembered Carlisle thinking about how the Vulturi was going modern, and perferred to not be so discret, although the humans knew nothing about what power this 'tourist' stop really held; their ultamite doom.

Instead of being greeted by a dripping basement, I saw a warm, almost too inviting, lobby. I heard the worried thoughts of the receptionist, who I assumed was mildly insane, due to her thinking in third person.

_Gianna, you know that they love you. You're the best secretary they've ever had, according to Felix. That's why he hasn't killed you yet._ I couldn't help but smile at the naive human, she was oblivious to the fact that she was nothing but a temporary play-thing to them. Once she was used up, she would be disposed of permantantly.

"Can I be of service to you, sir?" she asked, her voice surprisingly strong, considering the mental state she was currently residing in. _He's one of them. A new recrute? You didn't hear anything from Felix or the others... Why would they need them when they have _you_? Silly vampires._ I shook my head slightly, I felt pity for the human, she expected so much from people who were going to give her so little.

"Yes. I'm a friend of Carlisle Cullen. Just tell them that, I'm sure it's enough," I lifted my chin and raised an eyebrow, giving her an intiminating stare, daring her to deny my request. The authority in my voice had the usual effect, she acted immediately, her thoughts went into a shuffle. They really would have no need for her here.

I didn't bother listen in on the conversation she was saying into the odd shaped phone, I already knew by using Carlisle's name that I would be welcomed in with opened arms. Carlisle was an old friend of the Volturi, and had momentarily been apart of the trio, but left to pursue other interests, such as the New World, or, better known as, Amercia.

"Alec will be out to assist you any moment now," Gianna said, her voice timid, obviously still suffering from the aftermath of my sterness. Puny, weak, insingnifigant human.

My own harsh thoughts shocked me, I had a softer look at humans ever since Bella came into my life, and I hadn't thought that way since the day I realized I loved her. _My Bella_, I thought sadly, sending my body into aches. Everytime I thought about her, my useless stomach would jump up into my throat, and I'm sure if I could vomit, I would. If I could vomit, I wouldn't be here, I would have been off a cliff in a heartbeat. Perhaps I wouldn't even have to do that, Bella would have still been alive, because I wouldn't have been forced to leave her for her saftey.

Once again, things always seemed to turn out easier if I was a human. Not necissarily easier for me, I thrived off of the ability to read minds, but easier for Bella, who I thrived off of even more than my silly gift.

"Hello there, friend of the Cullen!" an all too cheerful voice boomed, interupting my angsty thoughts. I looked up to see a pale boy, who looked as if he could be somewhere around my human years, with dark hair. I assumed that this was Alec.

"Alec," I acknowleged with a nod, keeping my face flat and hard, I felt no need to show emotions to the new addition to the Volturi.

"Well, now, since you already know my name, I assume you're going to tell me yours?" he asked, ignoring the cold shoulder I was throwing at him.

"Edward," I said simply, my voice still icey. I didn't have enough strength to put on a show for these people, no matter how important they may be. I was too preoccupied on holding the growing blackhole in my body shut to care about what they thought about me.

"Well, Edward," Alec said, his cheerfulness only going down a notch, "Aro is excited to see you."

"Then lets not keep him waiting with this silly small talk. Shall we?" I insisted impatiently, stepping forward, and looking back, expecting him to take lead, which he did.

Alec lead me down the hall, surprising me when he didn't head for the golden doors, and slid a piece of paneling to the side, showing a unlocked door. He opened it with ease, and held it open for me. I swiftly walked past him without a thanks, I didn't feel as if he desearved it.

"Edward!" a sickening happy voice boomed, _Finally! One of Carlisle's compainions! Perhaps this will be benificial for the Volturi! Another addition, maybe?_ The happy thoughts flowed out, making me wrinkle my nose, Carlisle never told me there was a thousand year old crone who acted like a giddy school girl. But, then again, Carlisle never expected me to be visiting them. "Come, come! Sit, stand, fly, whatever! Please, make yourself at home!" _Maybe this will be his new home..._

I approched the owner of the voice and thoughts, he was a tall man, his age obvious with his paper thin skin, and his black floor length cloak blended perfectly with his hair. I immediately reconized him as one of the three men from the painting in Carlisle's office. He wasn't the only one in the circular room, there was a handful of others, but he was the only one who seemed interested in me. I suspected he was the leader.

I stayed silent, allowing the man to introduce himself, although I knew from his thoughts that he was Aro, he shared a similar gift to mine, though his was more powerful.

"As I'm sure my dear friend Carlisle has already informed you, I am Aro," he boomed, moving closer, the other's moving closer as well. They're relaxed thoughts were easily tuned out, they knew I wasn't a threat to the old vampire. Aro extended his hand to mine, his eyes marveling in anticipation, _What I wouldn't give to get inside this boy's mind. I want to know why he is here!_

I knew what he was doing, so I extended mine out as well. To anyone else, it looked like a normal handshake, it lasted 3 or 4 seconds, but to us, it lasted hours. I saw, and heard, my own thoughts, memories, and dreams, fly through his mind. Even my surpressed human memories came through, shocking me. Seeing my mother's face gave me some kind of comfort.

It was the past two year's memories that tore me apart, not surprisingly. Bella's beautiful face so crisp and clear... Her big, innocent, honey brown eyes so lovingly peered at me from Aro's mind. Her laugh shot at me like a million nails, piercing my soul, or, what was left of it, causing me to wince. The pain was unbareable, so I let go of his hand quickly.

Aro's dancing milky red eyes slowed, and his face shifted ever so slightly, into something more along the lines of sad. Perhaps sympathy? Sympathy was good, he was going to give me what I wanted.

"I see...," his voice was small, but at the same time, booming. I could feel the power radiating off of him. I attempted to sort through his thoughts, but they were so jumbled, I couldn't.

"So you fell in love with a human," his tone had a disappointed ring to it, but I didn't care, "And she's dead. So now you're wondering if we could put you out of your misery?"

I nodded solemly, still not over all the surpressed memories Aro had uncovered. I had spent months covering up the painful recolitions, and it took him a matter of seconds to reveal them all to me again.

He cocked his head curiously, "I do not understand. She was your _la tua cantante_! How could you love someone who was so...delicious?"

Fury broke through my body, how _dare_ he refer to my love as a word used for food. I was tempted to jump on him right then and there, making my job here easier than expected, I would be torn to shreads in a matter of miliseconds. But something kept me from doing so, the least I did was let out a low growl.

"I'm sorry if my word choice offended you, it's just that your bloodlust for her was so strong, yet you restrained from killing her," he marveled at the thought, "Amazing. You know, we could use someone like you with such powers. You have more gifts than you think."

The fury drained from my body, the numbing pain was back. "No thank you. I don't think I'll be much use to you in this state," I realized this was the first time I had spoken to Aro. I almost smiled at the thought of having a conversation without speaking, but the pain kept it hidden.

"Very true," he replied shortly, _But she's just a human, how long could this depression last?_

Another growl escaped my throat, "She's not _just_ a human, Aro. I don't think you understand the sitiuation I'm in fully. I want to die. There is no point to forever if Bella is not included."

"No need to get hostile, now," his voice was still at ease and warm, "I understand your point. I will review your request with my brothers, and we will send Demetri for you when we reach a descion. In the mean time, please, enjoy yourself here in Volterra!" Or, in other words, enjoy your last few hours alive.

But, in my case, suffer for just a bit longer, it'll all be over soon.

* * *

The night air was crisp and sweet, I watched as people decorated the city for the St. Marcus Day festival. If I wasn't so anxious about what the verdict would be about my death, I might have actually enjoyed myself.

The usually welcomed silence that envoloped me forced my thoughts back to all the memories I had of Bella, especially the most painful one; when I left her.

(**A/N: just a warning, this will be the scene from New Moon. I'm Disclaiming everything Stephenie had in her book right now, so, please, no flames.**)

_"You...Don't...Want me?" Bella had spoke the words slowly, as if she was confused. _

_I wanted to take her by the shoulders and scream, _'You stupid girl! How could you question my love for you? Do you think I was lying? Don't give me the easy way out!'_, but I answered with a simple, "No."_

_She stared into my eyes, I tried my best to hide the hurt I was feeling, I hoped it worked. I wanted her to hate me, not see that I didn't want this. Think about what Jasper came so close to doing to her on her birthday. Think about James, and what he did to her. Think all the way back to what those men in Port Angeles were thinking about doing to her. Don't let her know you care._

_"Well, that changes things," her voice was calm, perhaps too calm, but I took the satisfaction of passing the emotionless state I was shooting for. At the same time, I wanted to break down, and apologize, my own words were tearing me apart._

_I looked away from her, unable to hold her gaze any longer, with fear of loosing my composture, "Of course, I'll always love you...in a way," _in every singly way you could imagine, Bella,_ I wanted to add, "But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change," _for your own good, I promise, _"Because I'm..._tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella," _good enough for you,_ "I am not human," at those words, my eyes fell back onto hers, fighting the thoughts I so desperately wanted to say, "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

_I wasn't sorry for dragging it on, but I was sorry for ending it so _soon_. I didn't want to leave. The words that were falling out of my mouth were complete lies, I was surprised I could keep my collected attitude so well._

_"Don't," her voice was soft, and it ripped me apart, "Don't do this."_

_I looked deep into her aching eyes, trying my hardest to hide the pain I was feeling inside. I was hurting her so much, but it was for her own good. "You're not good for me, Bella," I lied flatly, emotionless. I was becoming numb now, the pain was too much. I watched as she opened her mouth, only to shut it again. I kept my cool, even though I felt the urge to shake her again, and ask what she was thinking._

_"If...that's what you want," she said hesitantly, it looked as if she still wasn't registering what I was saying. Hell, I wasn't even registering it._

_I could only nod once, I had lied enough for a lifetime, a human lifetime, that is. "I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," I requested, letting down my wall for a moment and allowing hope shine through. But I quickly put it back up, in fear she wouldn't believe I was serious._

_"Anything," she breathed, a little louder than her last statement. See, Edward? She's getting better already._

_I couldn't take that thought anymore, every emotion I was feeling; love, pain, hope, urge, everything; poured out at that moment, and I didn't care if she saw. I bore down into her own emotional eyes with urge, wanting her to soak up every bit of it while she could. _I love you_, I said over and over in my mind, _Bella, I love you.

_"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," I ordered urgently, _I wont be here to protect you_, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_She nodded slowly, the pain was pouring out of every pore in her body, I felt it envlope me one last time before I shut down again, allowing my flat expression to fall over my features again._

_"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course," I lied again, "He needs you,"_ I need you_, "Take care of yourself -- for him." _I'm speaking in third person, Bella._ The pain was becoming too much, I'd have to leave soon._

_I watched helplessly as she nodded again, "I will." I relaxed slightly, I knew she was always true to her word._

_"And I'll make you a promise in return," I said hesitantly, this is what I planned the whole night around, "I promise that this will be the last you'll see me. I won't come back," the torture of my words was unbearable, I had to get out of there at once, "I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me," I let out a breath, happy it was steady, and then spoke the words that I had been fearing, "It would be as if I never existed."_

_She began to shake, I heard her pulse pick up. Perhaps I had angered her. I forced a smile on my lips, "Don't worry. You're human -- your memory is no more than a sieve,"_ Mine is forever_, "Time heals all wounds for your kind."_ You're lucky, Isabella Swan.

_"And your memories?" she seemed to ask the question I was answering in my head. Her voice cracked slightly._

_"Well," I paused for a split second, "I won't forget," _Don't you ever think I will, Bella_, "But _my_ kind...we're very easily distracted." I smiled, hoping my words came true. It would take a hell of a lot of distractions to make me forget about Bella for even a moment. I took a step away from her, in fear that one more moment near her would cause me to break down. "That's everything," I tried to sound pleasent, "We wont bother you again."_

_"Alice isn't coming back," it wasn't a question, but a statement._

_I shook my head slowly, never taking my eyes off of her beautiful face, "No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I left out the fact that I had sent them away._

_"Alice is gone?" she asked again, more monotoned. I was only slightly affected by the fact that she seemed more concerned about Alice leaving instead of me._

_"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would have been better for you," I said, my voice still shockingly composed. I watched as she became unstable, and I felt as my insides had a breakdown, tearing, and ripping each other to shreads._

_"Goodbye, Bella," I said quietly, pretending I was only saying goodbye for the night._

_"Wait!" she cried, reaching out for me. I grabbed her wrists and put them to her sides, I could only control myself but so much. The pulsating of her blood called towards me, the smell of her sweet scent waffered up my nose, taunting me. As slowly as I could, I pressed my lips against her warm forehead._

_"Take care of yourself," I said as passionately as I could._

_And with that, I was gone. Leaving the love of my life believing that I didn't love her anymore._

"Edward?" an unfamiliar voice shook me from the unpleasent memory, and I looked towards it's direction. A figure stood before me, draped in a brown cloak, I suspected it was Demetri.

"Yes?"

"The Volturi has come to a decision."

* * *

**I changed the name from 108 & Suicidal, to Wont Go Home Without You, because I've decided to extend this story to the very end of New Moon. Edward isn't very suicidal then, now is he? xD**

**Well, please Review and tell me what you think(:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, if I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing this. I'd be "otherwise occupied" with Edward...LOL

**A/N:** HORRAY FOR ME GETTING IT OUT SO SOON :D I'm getting better at this whole story thing(: haha, thanks for those who have been patient with me getting it up and running. Thanks for all the compliments, too! I try my hardest to capture Edward's personality. Thanks for all the PM's and Reviews.  
**The majority of this chapter is a flashback. Now that I made the decision to continue this story throughout the ending of New Moon, I need to put some of the beginning in here too ;D  
****Also, it was brought to my attention that Edward's entrance into the Volturi was mildly confusing, considering he, Alice, and Bella entered in a hole in a ground. Well, Stephenie never elaborated on where they exited, but I know it was through a building. So, basically, Edward went through the exit.**

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"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" Bella said, stubbornly crossing her arms as I held the passenger door open for her. I hated the cursed death-trap truck.

_I smirked at my love, but my voice came out innocent, "I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished."_

_Her eyes narrowed, "If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight..."_

_I sighed, sometimes Bella could be so stubborn. Well, not just sometimes, it was all the time. "All right," I said, shutting the passenger door and walking over to the drivers side, opening it as well, "Happy birthday."_

_Despite her shushing, I knew she was happy I allowed her to get her way. Usually, I was just as stubborn as she was. I got into the passenger seat, and, out of boredom, because I wasn't behind the wheel, I fiddled with the radio. I surpressed a smile, I could butter her up for the present I knew she wouldn't be happy about._

_I shook my head, "Your radio has horrible reception."_

_I watched the corners of her lips tug down, "You want a nice stero? Drive your own car." _

_Her sharp tone had amused me, but I knew not to show it, she hated when I showed my amusment when she was angry. I couldn't help but smile at her anger, she was just so cute when she was worked up._

_When she pulled into her house, I reached over and took her face into my hands. I pressed my fingertips gently against her temples, and dragged them down to her chin, all while looking into her beautiful honey brown eyes. I cheerished her every feature, and was extra careful with her. She was my priceless crystal vase, and I was the obsessive owner._

_"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered, still caressing her. I surpressed a smirk as I heard her heartrate pick up, pounding like the bass line in a rock song._

_"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" The way her voice had the hint of a sensual tone, it burned inside. I was sure the passion was evident in my eyes, she could always read me so well._

_"Too bad."_

_I leaned in and pressed my deathly cold lips against her warm ones. Her pulse varied in pace, as I'm sure mine would be doing if I had one. I didn't ever want to move from this position; she was so close to me, her lips slowly warming my entire body._

_Bella threw her arms around my cold neck, sending shivers down my spine at the quick tempature change. She pressed into the kiss more, sending ten times more passion into my body. I smiled and pulled away, despite how much I wanted to keep kissing her like that. But I was too tempted to drain her blood._

_"Be good, please," I breathed, still trying to reclaim my composture, finding my control, in order not to press my lips against her throat and do something stupid._

_I wanted more than anything to kiss her like humans do, with passion, no haunting worries about accidentally killing their partner. I wanted her to have a normal relationship, one where she didn't have to hold back all the passion she felt._

_"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she asked, putting one hand over her thudding heart, "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"_

_"I really hope not," I smirked smugly, I couldn't help it. I always had _heard_ her reaction to our kisses, but it was always nice to hear her say it. It was like the first time I heard her say that she loved me. Even though I knew she did, it didn't hurt for her to actually say it; even if it was in her sleep._

_She rolled her eyes at my responce, "Let's go watch the Capulets and Montagues hack each other up, all right?"_

_"Your wish, my command," I joked, jumping out of my seat and running over to her door before she had a chance to even move. A perk of being one of the undead. I scooped her out of her seat, despite her look of protest and ran her into the house._

_While she put the movie in, I laid out on the couch, watching her every move, drinking it in. She was perfect. Having taken up the majority of the couch, she perched on the edge, looking uncomfortable. I grinned, wrapping my arms around her small waist and dragged her against my chest. Remembering I was below freezing, I pulled the old blanket from above us and drapped it over her perfect frame._

_I watched with disgust as the characters on the screen portrayed the most idiotic play of all time. "You know," I said, "I've never had much patience with Romeo."_

_"What's wrong with Romeo?" she asked, the offence clear in her voice._

_I held back the urge to sigh at her typical girl answer, "Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline -- don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"_

_She sighed, obviously not happy with my analyzation, "Do you want me to watch this alone?"_

_"No," I said quickly, drawing pictures with my fingers on her skin, "I'll mostly be watching you, anyway. Will you cry?"_

_"Probably," she admitted, indifference in her voice, I could tell she'd watched the movie umpteen times before, "if I'm paying attention."_

_I smirked, "I won't distract you then." I pressed my cold lips on her hair, satisfied with the heat radiating off her head. I knew I had distracted her, thanks to the quickened pulse, and her breathing became irregular. I breathed in her heavenly scent, it gave the feeling of being in a garden._

_Out of boredom, and just to spite Bella, I began quoting the idiot, or, better known as, Romeo's lines in her ear. I couldn't help but to chuckle when tears rolled down her face when Juliet awoke to find Romeo dead._

_"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said, picking up some of her glorious hair and drying her tears with it._

_"She's very pretty."_

_Her words disgusted me, the actress who played Juliet paled in comparrison to my Bella. "I don't envy him for the _girl_- just the ease of the suicide," I teased, "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts..." I trailed off, allowing her imagination to fill in the rest._

_"What?" she gasped, when she finally registered what I had said._

_"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple," My simple tone turned serious, "I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning...after he realized what he'd become..." My tone turned light again, "And he's clearly still in excellent health."_

_She twisted in my grip to face me, "What are you talking about? What do you mean, this is something you had to think about once?" Her demanding tone caused me to smile, but it lasted only a moment, because her eyes had a sense of desperation. My mood turned dark, something it rarely does whenever I'm around Bella._

_"Last spring, when you were...nearly killed..." I paused and took a deep breath in a sorry attempt to lighten my mood, "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."_

_Her eyes seemed distant for a moment as she was registering everything I had said, but she shook herself out of it. Her pulse quickened, "Contingency plans?"_

_What a silly girl! "Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I couldn't help but roll my eyes, I hated stating the obvious, "But I wasn't sure how to _do_ it -- I knew Emmett or Jasper would never help... so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi."_

_I looked off, remembering the dark thoughts I had when I was sure my love was in the hands of death. I wasn't positive we would arrive on time, Alice's visions kept changing, due to James changing his mind, and Bella making spur of the moment decisions._

_"What is a _Volturi_?" she demanded, only partly snapping me back into the present._

_"The Volturi are a family," I replied absentmindedly, "A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America -- do you remember the story?"_

_I was now fully back into the present, surpressing the unwanted memories of Bella's close encounter with death again. I looked over her face, it mirrored what I'm sure my expression was when she asked what I meant by contingency plans._

_"Of course I remember," she replied simply, a smile playing at her lips as her eyes became distant, obviously remembering the day she visited my house, meeting my family._

_I remembered the day just as vividly, if not more, I was sure. I especially remembered explaining how I became a vampire, even how Carlisle became one. I remembered going into detail about Carlisle, which I knew just as well as he did, thanks to my gift of mind reading._

_"Anyway," I said, breaking the comfortable silence we had formed, "You don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die," I paused, "Or whatever it is we do."_

_A look of horror dampened my love's face, she lifted her hands and held my face. The pleasurable warmth of them made me smile as I looked into her panic striken eyes. "You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not _allowed_ to hurt yourself!"_

_I shrugged nonchalently, "I'll never put you into danger again, so it's a moot point."_

_"_Put_ me in danger! I though we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?" her voice, and face, was displaying her extreme anger, "How dare you even think like that?"_

_I mentally sighed, I knew she would react like this, that's why I had put off telling her. "What would you do, if the situation was reversed?"_

_"That's not the same thing," she fired back, causing me to chuckle. She had no idea how right she was, it _wasn't_ the same thing. Her death was far more important._

_My responce only seemed to anger her farther, "What if something did happen to you," I saw her wince ever so slightly; if I were human, I probably wouldn't have caught it, "Would you want me to go _off_ myself?"_

_Pain erupted throughout my body at the picture of Bella lifeless, I couldn't see it. Bella _was_ life, my life. "I guess I see your point...a little," Not wanted to be completely defeated, I added, "But what would I do without you?"_

_"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," she said simply._

_But go back to what? Boredom? I couldn't even _remember_ life without Bella. I let out a sigh, "You make that sound so easy."_

_"It should be. I'm not really that interesting."_

_Why was she always so self distructive? Did she not know just how interesting she truly was, compared to most people? Everyone else was so predictable, thanks to me being able to read their minds. But what Bella did was always a surprise. I was about to object, until I heard the jumbled thoughts of her father, Charlie. _

_I sat up and, as much as I didn't want to, moved Bella over so that we weren't touching._

_"Charlie?" she guessed._

_I simply smiled as she took my hand firmly. She was always so persistant on touching... She either really loved me, or really hated me, while enjoying torturing me._

* * *

"Edward! Welcome back!" Aro cried out, throwing up his hands in a welcome stance. "Marcus! Caius! Edward Mason is back!"

Marcus and Caius, two old vampires, Aro's comrads, sat in their throne like chairs looking like they wished they were somewhere else. Their thoughts reflected the same thing, monotoned and nonchalent. Their thoughts were as simple as a childs, thinking of everything, but nothing.

"I didn't come for a welcome home party, Aro," I snarled, "What have you and your brothers decided?"

Aro kept smiling, his thoughts were reviewing something that sounded like a grochery list, which struck me as odd, because, well, vampires have no need for grocheries. I gave him an annoyed look, he was blocking out his thoughts from me.

"I really did feel your love for Bella, and your hurt know that she's dead. Although I'm still baffled by them, I know they're true. We took all this into consideration whilst pondering your unusal request, believe me. But, we decided to deny," he let me down like he was telling me about the weather patterns in this damn city.

I pressed my lips together, holding back the scream of agony that was threatening to escape my throat. I closed my eyes, attempting to collect myself so I could speak.

"Thank you for your time. Sorry if I was of any trouble," I said finally, my eyes still closed, in fear that if I opened them, the built up agony would spill out.

"Edward, know that we're doing you a favor! It's only been a few months, give it time. And when you're finally over this Isabella Swan, feel free to come back here. We're always welcome to gifts like you."

I just nodded, and turned swiftly, I didn't want them to see my defeated expression. "I'm sticking to my answer from earlier. Once again, thank you for your time."

Without looking back, or waiting for a responce, not that I needed one, Aro's thoughts were as clear as if he was speaking them, I left.

I entered the dark streets of Volterra and breathed in the sweet aroma of air. Under different circumstances, I would have felt at peace, but, now? Now I had to think of another plan to kill myself. But, of course, I couldn't do it alone. I had to find another vampire to do so, or, if I was really lucky, a werewolf to piss off. Usually, I was glad the vampire myths were just that, myths, due to the other complications they would bring. But, now, I wished it was as simple as shoving a wooden stake through my heart. But you try forcing a slab of wood into a boulder; it just doesn't happen.

Every passing Bella-less second was growing more and more painful. The hole in my chest, where I was sure my heart had once been, was expanding even more, and then filling itself with lead. I had known, before I found out my love had thrown herself off of the cliff, that I couldn't take my life without Bella any longer, I would have to visit her soon. I would _have_ to tell her my last words were all lies.

What was that old human saying? Ah, yes; too little, too late.

Why was this happening? Had I done something so horribly wrong in my human years to desearve such a damnation? Why was the girl I loved human? As well as my la tua cantante? Did fate, or God, dare I say, loath me to the point of making my hell even more...hellish, in lack of a better word?

I bitterly wished Carlisle would have let me die of the Spanish Influenza, way back in 1918, the year I was supposed to die. I would have then died without knowing Bella, without knowing love even exsisted. I would have died innocent and naive; the perfect way to go.

Stop.

What was I thinking? Had the denial of my request drove me to the point of insanity? Of course I was happy to know Bella, the experiences she allowed me to have would be cheerished forever, even after the death I would somehow configure before the sun rose.

I walked the cobble-stoned streets aimlessly, not registering my surroundings. Proving my lack of sanity even more to myself, I was pretending Bella was here with me. I smiled to myself as I pictured her tripping up on the uneven walkway, and me swooping down to catch her before her fragile body was able to hit the ground. She would marvel the foreign sites, while I marveled her beauty. Her flowing brown hair, framing her heart shaped face. Her chocolate eyes laced with gold, filled with curiousity and depth, so much more different than the other humans. Bella was so plain, yet, exotic. To me, she was nothing short of a goddess.

I sat down against an alley wall, pondering on what I was to do with myself. Surely I couldn't give what Aro said, give it time, a try, considering I was now officially mad.

I had to do _something_ more. I was back to Plan A, where I would just expose myself. But how? I didn't want to cause a complicated scene, I wanted my death to be quick and forgettable, so I wouldn't do something too noticable.

A scent traveled up my nose, and my throat burned with thirst. It was then I realized what I could do: hunt.

Not too much, of course. I didn't want a misterious massacar to happen in Volterra, just enough of blood-drained victims to make the Volturi suspicious, then, ultimately, they would kill the new vampire in town. Me.

It was almost too perfect. With dying, I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt of killing the innocent, and I wouldn't have to think about what their children or other families went through.

I slowly got up from my sitting position and stalked towards my soon to be prey. It was an middle aged woman, with parinoia already on her mind. With the pleasent mixture of adrenaline in her blood, it should make it just as worth it.

"Hasn't anyone told you to never walk the streets alone this late at night?" I snarled viciously, jumping in front of her. Fear shot through her eyes as she trembled, cluching her purse. I smirked evily, if only the simple task of robbing her was what I had in mind.

I walked closer, allowing my scent to travel to her, to lure her in. My stunning looks should have done the trick alone, but she was too parinoid not to use my other weapons.

I grabbed her, my mouth was dripping venom with anticipation, the monster inside of me rejoiced with the idea of it's future meal. I opened my mouth, a few drops of what looked like spit for her, but I knew was deadly venom, fell out. Carlisle's disaproving face suddenly appeared in my mind, causing my eyes to widen.

"_We don't _want_ to be monsters,_" I had told Bella when she questioned our diet habbits.

I was becoming exactly what I feared. Again. I was becoming a monster.

My hands dropped from the paralyzed woman and a dry sob escaped my lips. "Go," I whispered hoarsly, due to my burning thirst. When she didn't budge, I pushed her lightly.

"Go!" I now shouted with force, "If you don't go, I _will_ kill you! Do you understand me?" She registered this, and took off in the opposite direction she was headed in.

Before my instincts could get the best of me, I turned down another random alley way and threw myself against the wall, causing it to slightly crumble. I beat my fist against the brick wall repeativly, grunting with anger at myslef. How could I come that close to shaming my friend, who has been so supportive of me for so long?

I was _already_ a monster. A selfish, no good, bastard. How had someone so amazing as Bella come even remotely close to loving me? I didn't deserve it. I didn't desearve anything short of death.

Having nothing better to do with myself, I thought back to the night everything changed...

_"Time to open presents!" Alice's musical voice sang out. She practically dragged poor Bella to the table in the living room next to my grand piano_._ The table was coated in party attire, Alice had really had her fun with this._

_"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything --" Bella began to object, her face slightly upturned at the sight of the presents._

_"But I didn't listen," Alice interupted, smugness evident on her face, "Open it." She replaced Renée's gift, a camera, with a too-big-for-Bella-box wrapped in shiney, silver paper. I smirked, knowing it's contents, or, shall I say, lack of, and watched as Bella tore through the paper, her hostilness momentarily disappearing._

_I silently snickered at her dumbfounded face as she discovered the box was empty. Jasper wasn't so curtious as he bellowed with laughter, "It's a stero for your truck," he explained after I shot him a look to stop laughing, "Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."_

_"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," she said with a faint grin, her eyes distant, "Thanks, Emmett!"_

_Emmett's booming laugh sounded, and Bella's beautiful one joined in. I sighed with admiration, I loved her so much. It took all the control I had in order to not to kiss her passionately right there. Something about her laugh always had that effect on me._

_Alice had said something to Bella, but I was too lost in my love's eyes to pay attention. This happened frequently, her eyes were so distractable. But they soon became accusing, interupting the...fantasy I was currently having about her._

_"You promised," she hissed. In her hand was the small, flat silver box that was from Alice and I._

_I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Emmett, as usual, interupted me. "Just in time!" he shouted happily, shoving Jasper out of the way. Jasper was being exceptionally good tonight, surprisingly having no images of him biting Bella. The excitment was distracting him, and I was pleased._

_I then remembered I was supposed to defend myself, "I didn't spend a dime," I assured. A stray strand of her hair had fallen on her face, and I brushed it away, needing to touch her._

_I heard her intake her breath sharply, "Give it to me." She sounded defeated, I had won._

_As she stuck her finger under the edge of the paper, she rolled her eyes at me, just to show that she wasn't happy with whatever was inside. But she never got to it._

_Instead, she gave herself a papercut. Just the tiniest of cuts, but it was enough. Enough to drive the roomful of vampires crazy, especially me and Jasper. I held my breath, but not before hearing, no, _seeing_ Jasper's illiegal thoughts._

_"No!" I shouted. In full defence mode, I threw myself at Bella, flinging her fragil body across the table. I heard a crash, the table and crystal bowl had broken with the impact of her. _

_Before I could see if she was alright, Jasper slammed into me, catching me slightly off gaurd. _Just one taste, brother, _he thought furiously. Snarles erupted from his throat as he snapped at my face, just barely reaching it. I was paralyzed with anger, ready to rip him to shreads._

_Suddenly, Jasper was lifted off of me and pinned by Emmett. I planned to use this as an advantage point and attack him while he was vulnerable. I wanted to _kill_ him for thinking of Bella that way._

_Before I could go throw with my plan, a sweet smell went up my nose, I had forgotten to hold my breath. I turned and looked to see a wide cut in Bella's arm, and her sacred blood was pouring out. My anger went away and was replaced by the emotional pain of seeing the love of my life lying in such a vulnerable, yet, dangerous, stance._

It was only the beginning of hell.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer, not I.

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_"Say something," she begged, breaking the uncomfortable silence between us that had fallen on the way to her house from mine._

_"What do you want me to say?" That I'm sorry she was almost killed, _again_, because of me?_

_"Tell me you forgive me," her desperate tone pissed me off uncontrollably._

_"Forgive _you_? For what?" I demanded, my eyes narrowing so far I could barely see the road ahead of me._

_"If I'd been more careful," she paused ever so slightly, "nothing would have happened."_

_Of course Bella would find some way to twist the whole situation into something _she_ was at fault at. "Bella," I said, my anger not suppressing, as much as I wanted it to, "you gave yourself a paper cut -- that hardly deserves the death penalty." Leave it to me to add a sarcastic remark in a serious conversation. Nice going, Edward._

_"It's still my fault," she spat out, not thinking. When she thought about what she had just said, her mouth widened. It only fueled my anger even more, she was such a fool!_

_"_Your_ fault? if you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house, with Jessica there and Angela and you other _normal_ friends," I emphasized _'normal'_, "the worst that could possible have happened would be what? Maybe they couldn't find you a bandage? If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on your own -- without someone throwing you into them -- even then, what's the worst? You'd get blood on the seats when they drove you to the emergency room?" my tone softened ever so slightly, "Mike Newton could have held your hand while they stitched you up -- and he wouldn't be fighting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there. Don't try to take any of this on yourself, Bella. It will only make more disgusted with myself." If that were even more possible._

_How could I put someone so wonderful in so much danger?_

_"How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation?" she demanded, my mood rubbing off on her._

_"Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell of a lot healthier for you to be with," I snapped. If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were having an argument._

_"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton," she hissed, "I'd rather die than be with anyone but you."_

_Leave it to Bella to make something sweet sound heart wrenching. "Don't be melodramatic, please."_

_"Well then, don't you be ridiculous."_

_I didn't answer, I was fuming too much. How dare she say I was being ridiculous! After what she went through this evening, on her birthday, nether the less, she wanted to be with be, __**still**__? And, yet, I was the one being ridiculous?_

_We rode in silence rest of the way to her house, and, for once, I felt like a normal human. This is exactly how they fought on television and movies, now if only I could somehow manage the make up sex... _

_I shook my head violently, clenching the steering wheel, bad Edward. You're angry with Bella, not picturing her naked._

_"Will you stay tonight?" she asked the hopefulness evident in her eyes._

_I thought about Jasper, "I should go home."_

_"For my birthday," she begged, her eyes pleading._

_"You can't have it both ways," I sighed, "Either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other." I managed to calm myself down enough to throw a teasing tone in there._

_"Okay. I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs." She was insane!_

_"You don't have to take those," I objected as she reached in the back for the unopened presents._

_"I want them," she replied instantly._

_"No, you don't," my tone was teasing, "Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."_

_"I'll live," she said with a small smile. I was glad to see she still had it._

_"Let me carry them, at least," I insisted as I followed her up to her steps, taking the packages away, "I'll be in your room."_

_Her smile broadened, "Thanks."_

_"Happy birthday," I breathed, pressing my lips against her warm ones. I felt her try to press into the kiss more, but she had pushed my control enough that night, even if it wasn't her fault, so I pulled away. I saw the disappointment in her eyes so I shot her a lopsided smile and shrank away into the darkness._

_I swiftly climbed the side of her house, knowing where every nook and cranny was from my thousands of climbs before. The presents in my hands made it only slightly more difficult, but I entered her room with ease._

_I sat down on her bed cross legged, what was I to do? I couldn't keep Bella in so much danger anymore. She didn't need it, hell, no one needed it. Who wanted to walk on eggshells around their boyfriend because they could accidentally kill you? Who wanted to not be able to kiss them with passion, in fear they might bite into them and suck them dry? Certainly not Bella. There was no way she was enjoying this._

_I felt my long dead heart breaking at my confusion. The only way I could manage saving Bella would be to leave her. I couldn't do that, my own selfish needs wouldn't let me. Bella's feelings would be crushed, I couldn't do that to her._

_Distantly, I heard her skid down the hall and open the door. "Hi," I said, not bothering to hide my sadness._

_"Hi," she breathed, shoving the presents I hadn't realized were still in my hands out of the way. She buried herself into my cold chest, it couldn't be comfortable. "Can I open my presents now?"_

_I smiled sadly, "Where did the enthusiasm come from?"_

_"You made me curious," she said absentmindedly, stroking my chest, her eyes full of wonder. Snapping back, she picked up the long flat one that Carlisle and Esme had bought._

_In fear of another accident like before, and nothing to keep me from drinking her blood like before, I took the box and swiftly took off the annoyingly shiny paper. I handed the white box back to her waiting hands._

_"Are you sure I can handle lifting the lid?" she mumbled sarcastically. I wasn't in the mood to shoot back, or even open the lid just to annoy her, so I chose to ignore the comment._

_She opened the box slowly, and peered inside. It took her a moment to register what was inside, "We're going to Jacksonville?" Her face shone with excitement, melting away some of my resentment._

_"That's the idea."_

_"I can't believe it. Renée is going to flip!" she gushed, then paused, "You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny, you'll have to stay inside all day."_

_"I think I can handle it," I replied, then frowned to myself, "If I'd had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain."_

_"Well, of course it's too much," she said out of stubbornness, "But I get to take you with me!"_

_Her obvious enthusiasm made me chuckle, "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable." My teasing tone was back, seeing her truly happy had made me almost forget the earlier events. Almost._

_At my words, she set the tickets aside and reached for the present I had made her. Before she could grasp it, I took it and unwrapped it quickly, again fearing what could happen. Call me paranoid, but I'd rather not have her floral scented blood wash over my senses._

_I handed her the CD case and smiled inside, excited to hear her response, shoving any and all worries about what the future may hold. "What is it?" she asked, cocking her head curiously._

_I took the CD again, reached over her, purposely brushing into her to feel her warmth, and put the CD in the player. I hit play and waited in the silence for the music to begin. My own piano playing filled the room softly._

_When it did, I sat up and marveled at her innocent expression. Her honey brown eyes were wide, and her mouth was slightly ajar. Suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes and she wiped them away._

_"Does your arm hurt?" I asked urgently, not forgetting about the stitches._

_"No, it's not my arm," she replied quickly, her voice cracking, "It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it." She stopped her babbling, her voice was cracking every now and then._

_"I didn't think you would let me get a piano so I could play for you here," I joked, but, at the same time, I was serious. I would do whatever it took in order to make her happy, even if I did have to drag a piano into her room._

_"You're right," she replied with a small smile._

_"How does your arm feel?" I pushed worriedly. If she said it hurt, Edward, get out. You'll only cause her pain._

_"Just fine," she lied, her eyes flickering from mine to her arm shamefully. She should know better than to try to lie to me._

_"I'll get you some Tylenol," I insisted, shifting her in my lap so I could get up._

_"I don't need anything," she said, almost urgently. I ignored her and slid her off of me and walked toward the door._

_"Charlie," I heard her hiss with a warning tone._

_I smirked, "He won't catch me." I took off at top speed to the bathroom, quickly grabbing the glass of water and the bottle of pills that I had sat out a long time ago, due to Bella being so accident prone. I returned triumphantly before the door even had a chance to close._

_I handed her the pills and watched her down them, chasing them down with the water. "It's late," I said gently, picking her up with one arm and pulling back the covers. I tucked her in like a child and lay next to her, of course, on top of the blanket, so my body wouldn't freeze her. Hesitantly, I put my arm over her, for my own selfish wants. I wanted to feel her warmth. I was a selfish monster, and, somehow, she loved me for it._

_I felt her lean her head against my shoulder and a content sigh escaped her lips, "Thanks again." Her voice was barely a whisper, it was our special tone. Only I could hear her talk in such a way._

_"You're welcome," I replied lovingly, stroking her skin lightly. She was so fragile, so easily damaged. And I was putting her through things that the toughest of human's wouldn't even dream to encounter._

_"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly._

_Should I tell her what I was thinking? About leaving her? No. "I was thinking about right and wrong, actually," I replied honestly. It was wrong to keep putting her in danger, it was right to remove the danger. The danger being me; my family._

_"Remember how I decided that I wanted you to _not_ ignore my birthday?" she said suddenly, confusing me. What was she up to?_

_"Yes." My voice came out wary._

_"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."_

_"You're greedy tonight," I attempted a teasing tone, but it came out serious._

_"Yes, I am -- but please, don't do anything you don't want to do," she added slightly irritated._

_I laughed lightly, then sighed, "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do." I sounded desperate; it was probably going to be the last time I would allow myself to kiss her. I'd decided in my mind that I was leaving her. I was breaking my own heart._

_I put my hand under her chin lightly, pulling her face to mine, drinking up her features. She was so beautiful, so innocent. As our lips collided, I heard her heart pick up speed, I remembered how that pleased me just a few hours ago. But now? Now it sickened me. She was in love with a monster._

_How I wanted to keep her forever, just mine. I didn't want to be a monster; I wanted to be human, for Bella. I felt my kiss become more urgent, but I didn't care. For once, I wasn't thinking about her pulsating blood, I was just thinking about her. I needed to touch her more, memorize her. My free hand tangled into her hair, holding her head closer to mine, so that she couldn't back out of the kiss, even if she wanted to, which I doubted. I felt her hands twist themselves into my hair as well, and I growled, but not in the warning way. I wanted it._

_Suddenly, she pushed her body into mine, her heart doing the most peculiar thing, I hadn't heard it before. I pushed her away gently, watching as she collapsed back on her pillow, her chest was pumping, she was slightly gasping for air._

_"Sorry," I was surprised at my own breathlessness, "That was out of line."_

_"_I_ don't mind," she said, panting. Of course she doesn't. She was crazy._

_"Try to sleep, Bella."_

_"No, I want you to kiss me again," she insisted, almost begging._

_"You're overestimating my self-control."_

_"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" she accused, I could tell she was going for the latter._

_"It's a tie," I teased with a grin. My mood turned dark again, "Now, why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?"_

_"Fine," she huffed, snuggling closer to me. What could she possibly find that was so comforting doing that? It had to feel equivalent to snuggling with a glacier. Not too many people do that. But, then again, Bella wasn't like too many people._

_After a bit of silence, I felt a few sharp pokes, and warmth radiating onto my skin. I peered out of the corner of my eye and couldn't help but smile. Bella had pressed her injured arm against me, obviously enjoying the cold._

_For the first time in a long, long, long time, I was truly happy to be a vampire._

* * *

It was simple. So simple, in fact, I was surprised I didn't go with it to begin with. It was the easiest way to end it all, it almost seemed too good to be true. All I had to do was walk out into the sun exposed; no normal person would glisten like a million rare jewels. The Volturi would have to kill me, it would be the only way to get rid of a nuisance like me. If they were smart, they would be watching this festival very carefully. Aro must know, from looking into my mind, that I was willing to do anything.

_Bella, love, I'm coming_, I thought happily as I waited under the clock tower. All I needed was that deafening chime signaling the sun was directly above us, and then I wouldn't have to endure this pain anymore. I was almost giddy with relief.

I had about 10 more minutes to go, and they couldn't come faster. I knew I was being selfish; Carlisle and Esme would be heartbroken. As for my siblings? I'm sure they resented me for uprooting them from the one place they were actually enjoying.

Emmett was looking forward to having yet another high school diploma, considering he never finished school in his human years. He always gloated about how he had not one, but four diplomas. Rosalie was happy when Emmett was happy, because he gave her undying attention. Alice loved the scenery, and the closeness of the small town of Forks to shopping areas like Port Angeles. Jasper loved whatever Alice loved, so he was perfectly content as well, minus the awkwardness he felt around humans, due to the urge to drink from them.

I tried not to think of Esme's heartbroken face, and Carlisle's extreme disappointment in me. They didn't even come close to understanding the loss I was at. They had it easy, being both vampires. They didn't have to worry about what the other would do if one was to die, they were both equally damned to the same existence.

Why had I even spoken to Bella in Biology? Was I suicidal -- even then? I obviously didn't want my life to be simple. I remembered how close I had came to killing her the first day I met her, how maddening that first whiff of her scent had been, how beautiful I found her when I took the time to look her over.

What had stopped me from killing her? I couldn't remember. Was it Carlisle? My siblings? Esme? Or had it been Bella all along? Had I somehow known I would love her in the future? Dare I ask...Had I already loved her?

Whatever the answer was, I hadn't killed her.

_Watch him carefully, Felix,_ a thought bounded into my mind, I knew they were talking about me. I smiled to myself, they were near by. It should be easier than I thought, if that were even possible.

Eyeing whom I assumed was Felix, I took off my white shirt and dropped it at my feet. I edged up closer to the sun, smirking, it was time to dazzle some humans.

I stared directly up, momentarily blinded by the sun, to see how long I had left. 5 minutes. I smiled with pleasure, my thoughts were jumbled, I was thinking like a madman. Hell, I'm not sure if I was even thinking. All I could think about was Bella's face, and how crumpled with pain it was when I told her I didn't want her anymore. It made what I was about to do a lot easier.

My heart burst to life as the ear splitting toll of the clock shattered through the thoughts that hummed around me. Ironic how that would happen right when I was stepping out into my death.

"Edward, no!" Her voice shouted as I positioned myself, I was pleasantly shocked at the hallucination I closed my eyes and smiled peacefully. Taking in a deep breath, I turned my palms upward, soon, I would stop imagining her voice, and actually hear it. Soon, I would stop picturing her face, and truly see it.

_What's with the funny man? Maybe mamma will know_, a small child's thoughts wondered.

I peeked out of my eye to see a family of five peering at my curiously; good. I will be taken care of quicker if I was already drawing attention to myself.

The clock tower rumbled another chime, signaling I should take another step towards the sun. I hadn't calculated the distance I needed to take, so I just took a graceful stride.

"No! Edward, look at me!" she shouted desperately. I felt my smile widen, _I'll be able to see you soon enough, my love._

Just as I was about to take the final step, something small and frail crashed into me, my reaction was to grab whatever it was. A sweet smell drifted up my nose, hitting me like a ton of bricks. The clock chimed again as I slowly opened my eyes with confusion.

That's when I saw Bella, and knew I was dead. Her face was twisted into some sort of emotion, it didn't look happy enough for this to be heaven. Her hair was clinging to her sweat coated face. Her eyes were urgent, pleading, and possibly...loving?

She was shouting something at me, but it was too distant to understand. I saw her feet move behind her, as if she was trying to move me. What was that silly girl doing? I stroked her cheek, pleased with the warmth my cold body was instantly filled with, even with such a simple touch. Somewhere in the distance, a thunderous clock chime sounded.

"I can't believe how quick it was," I mused, mostly to myself, "I didn't feel a thing -- they're very good." I closed my eyes and kissed her on the top of her gorgeous head. I didn't care if I sounded crazy, I _felt_ crazy, Bella's very presence was maddening, even if it was when we were dead. "_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_," I mumbled to myself, slightly hoping Bella could hear. My memories of her did no justice, she was far more beautiful. Romeo had put it very well when he said that about Juliet. I bet he wouldn't have if he had met Bella.

"You smell just exactly the same as always," I pointed out gently, "So maybe this _is_ hell. I don't care. I'll take it."

"I'm not dead," she insisted, her eyes still urgent, "And neither are you! Please Edward," she was saying something else, but I ignored it. The poor thing was in denial.

I saw her attempt to drag me by my arms, but it only left me confused. "What was that?"

"We're not dead, not yet!" She insisted, still tugging me maddly. She was still talking, but dark thoughts over powered her.

_Look how close he is to the sun! Get him! And that delicious smelling human..._

I wasn't dead. I was alive. And so was my Bella. I pulled her with me into the shadows, pressing her against the ally wall, turning around to defend my love. My very much _alive_ love. No one will ever think of her as food, ever. I spread my arms as Felix and Demetri approched me slyly.

_Alright, hotshot, you got your wish. We're going to kill you._

_Her smell...What is it? Floral? Heidi is being very slow with our delivery... This girl should hold me over..._

"Greetings, gentlemen," I said calmly, even though I wanted to rip them apart, "I don't think I'll be needing your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

Felix sneered, "Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" _Where killing you would be much easier._

"I don't believe that will be necessary. I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules." Although, I intended to. But my plans had been interupted by the very girl who had forced me to make such arrangments.

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," Demetri said soothingly. If I hadn't been a mind reader, I would have believed him. But I heard what Felix had meant loud and clear. "Let us seek better cover," he continued, in the same smooth voice.

_Better cover, good idea, brother! I can go for the idiot first, and then take on the girl with ease._ I knew Felix's thoughts were out of hunger, but they were about Bella.

"I'll be right behind you. Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"

"No, bring the girl," Felix said, urgency and thirst laced in his voice.

"I don't think so," I growled, crouching slightly, prepairing for the thirst to take over Felix's instincts and lunge at my love.

"No," Bella's voice was barely audiable, but I had heard it. The tone sent shivers down my spine, it was _our_ tone.

"Shh," I mumbled, to relax her. I knew it would, somehow, my words had always been comforting to her. I knew if I wanted to, I could tell her that her father had died in a plane crash, and she would have been relaxed.

"Felix," Demetri warned, "Not here." Not ever, if I had anything to do with it.

Demetri turned to face me, "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

"Certainly," I agreed, then moved my head slightly towards Bella, "But the girl goes free." I couldn't risk loosing her...Not when I just got her back...

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We do have rules to obey." At least Demetri was true with his regretful tone, he didn't want anything to happen to Bella, either. Because, unlike Felix, he actually wanted to survive my rath. But I wasn't going to put Bella in any more danger, especially not this soon!

"Then _I'm_ afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's inviration, Demetri."

"That's just fine," _Good, now I don't have to bring him _or_ the girl back alive..._ Felix didn't bother to hide his needs, his thirst obviously didn't leave him any patience to.

"Aro will be disappointed." Demetri said with a sigh, I saw him frown.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," I retorded, crouching again in my defence stance, ready to take on the two ravenous vampires.

They spread out and stalked closer to me, I could tell they wanted to get me from both sides. Yeah, right. Like I was going to let that happen. They were only simply trying to force me deeper into the ally, but I wouldn't have it. I would move when I wanted to move.

_Edward, please, don't be so defencive. They aren't going to do anything,_ a very familiar thought hurled itself into my head. Alice. Well, damn, was the whole family here? Did they all come to watch my ultimate doom? I wonder if they were finding any amusment in it.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we? There are ladies present," Alice said sang in her wind-chime like voice. Yeah, like Felix had put into any thought about not killing Bella because she was a girl. If anything, it made it easier for him. He saw a girl less of a threat.

_Great, another one. I think she's the psychic one._

_Wonderful. Now we don't out number them. How is that intimidating?_

"We're not alone," Alice continued, raising an eyebrow, looking past his shoulder and to the family.

Demetri looked where her eyes where pointed to see the family was getting suspicious of us. The father, thinking it was a fight bound to happen, brought it to the attention of an officer.

"Please, Edward, let's be reasonable." his voice was almost mocking, it infuriated me.

"Lets," I snarled, "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

_And let you get away? Not a chance_. "At least let us discuss this more privately."

I heard the thoughts of all the curious gaurds, we were growing quiet the audience. I didn't let the insignifigant humans make me back down from my defending Bella. "No."

Suddenly, a sweet song played through my head as someone approched. I didn't smell blood, so it must've been another vampire. I froze instantly in fear, knowing who it was.

Felix sensed my fear and smiled, _Finally, a weakness._

"Enough." The voice sent warning shivers all up and down my spine, and I increased my stance around Bella.

* * *

**Sorry to just leave it there, but I really don't feel well, and I wanted to get this chapter out tonight.  
Please review. A bunch of you are alerting & favoriting, but none of you are telling me what you think D: -sniffles-**

**Oh, & while you're waiting for me to update (if you even do..lol), read _Shining Eclispe_'s Breaking Through. It's great! (she's also my ohso wonderful editor ;D You can thank her for not reading things like 'fskljdhflkasjd' bwahaha)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Everything belong's to Stephenie Meyer.

_A REALLY BIG thanks to Shining Eclipse for being my editor :) She puts up with all my typos :D_

* * *

"Jane," I muttered as I dropped my arms in defeat. If she saw me trying to protect Bella, she might attack her for no reason other than to spite me.

_Who is this? Why are they afraid? I bet I could take the little...Oh._ Alice's own thoughts were interrupted by a vision of Jane smiling like the cat who stole the canary, and someone withered on the ground with pain.

I had seen enough in some of the Volturi's mind to know about Jane and her power. The pain she convinced her victims they had was unbearable...I couldn't let that happen to Bella...Not now, not ever.

"Follow me," Jane said, disappointment leaking in her tone. From her thoughts, she was just as thirsty as Felix was, but she had direct orders to bring us all back alive -- even the human.

Felix smirked at me, gesturing for us to go first. _Maybe I could attack the girl from behind. Edward wouldn't see what was coming. Of course, he would hear me, but it would be too late..._

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist protectively and followed Alice down the narrow ally. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella turn to look at me, so I returned the gaze. Confusion was written all over her face, her eyes were frantic. I shook my head; I would have to explain to her later. If, of course, there actually was a later...

"Well, Alice," I said, breaking the silence that had fallen over us; I also wanted to soothe Bella with my voice, "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It was my mistake. It was my job to set it right," her memory of the vision of Bella jumping off the cliff tugged my heart. I resisted the urge to shake Bella and ask her what the hell she was thinking.

"What happened?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. I was trying to show Felix, who was watching Bella's every move, that I was aware.

"It's a long story. In a summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about extreme sports these days."

I listened to Alice explain the detailed story in her head at a fast pace. But she slowed when she came to Jacob Black...Bella's _friend_ that was a werewolf. Maybe Bella just wasn't meant to be safe. A coven of vampires leave her, and she manages to find a pack of wolves. Nice.

Jacob had been the one to answer the phone when I had called; telling me Charlie was at a funeral. Thanks to Rosalie and her calling me once every hour, I had assumed it was Bella's funeral. But, as it turns out, it was just a family friend's.

This entire situation was just a mistake. I had flown all the way to Volterra with a death wish, all because of a _mistake._ That's just how my life went these days, mistake after mistake, each and every one of them harming Bella.

This mistake was bitter sweet. The bitter part, of course, was us being led down to our death. The sweet part, which was bigger, to me, was that I was able to see Bella one more time before I was sure I would fight to the death of me defending her. It was the least I could do for leaving her so hurt...so much in pain.

I heard, and smelled, Bella's sweet blood move up to her cheeks in that blush I loved. She directed her gaze ahead, seemingly focused on nothing. She was embarrassed was by her actions.

"Hm," was all I was able to choke out from the information. But I knew there was more to the story, Alice had blocked some things from me, I knew.

I absentmindedly saw Jane drop down into the more inconspicuous entrance, a hole in the ground, which was supposed to look like a city drain. Alice followed without hesitation, and I was about to as well, when Bella stopped abruptly and backtracked a little, fear dancing in her beautiful eyes.

"It's alright, Bella," I purred into her ear, inhaling her scent, "Alice will catch you." Oh, how I wished I was Alice at this moment! Maybe I should go down first, so I could save my love from cracking her head open myself... But I knew if I left her alone with Felix, even for a moment, he wouldn't be able to fight the temptation to drink from her any longer; not like he was trying as it was.

"Alice?" Bella's trembling whisper made me want to grab her and run away, as fast as possible.

"I'm right here, Bella," Alice assured. Once again, I wish I was the one comforting her. I had to do something in order to make her feel safer...

I grabbed her wrists gently and lowered her slowly into the hole. _Christ, are they going to take all day?_ Demetri's thoughts were impatient, but I didn't let it rush me. "Ready?" I called, still clasped onto Bella tightly.

"Drop her," came the reply. Reluctantly, I let my love go, and watched her fall into the darkness, her life in someone else's hands. Thankfully, Alice caught her with ease.

I followed swiftly, landing with a soft _thud_. I was by Bella's side immediately, pulling her close. To my pleasant surprise, she wrapped her arms around my waist and held me as tight as her average human strength allowed. If I hadn't been holding onto my love, she would have fallen at least 10 times, thanks to the uneven stones. Just as I imagined it, minus the immense fear of death, I was saving her from every scrape and bruise.

Bella, _my_ Bella, was alive. And, not only was she alive, but she was right next to me, in my arms. Forgetting these last seven months was easy for me, but I knew it would be hard for her to forget. Why had she come to save me? Perhaps she didn't want to feel guilt ridden knowing that her _fun_ cliff-dive had pushed me to killing myself.

Or maybe, just maybe, somehow, she still loved me.

I needed to touch her more somehow; holding onto her with one arm just wasn't enough. I lifted my hand slowly and moved it towards her face, giving her enough room to move if she wanted to, even though it would break my heart, which sputtered to life again the moment I held Bella. When she didn't move away, I held her face gingerly, feeling light headed from the connection. I pressed my face into her hair, inhaling deeply, kissing her neck ever so lightly. So lightly, infact, that I was sure she didn't feel it. But she pressed herself closer to me, so maybe she had felt it...

What was I doing? Why was I being hesitant? Surely we didn't have much longer to live; I had to make it worth while. With this thought, I pressed my lips against her forehead, my jaw trembling from the touch. Her breathing was ragged and irregular, but her heartbeats overpowered them easily. Bella's heart was flying, just like it used to when we were in our intimate moments, back when we were living for the present, me not always worrying about the future.

_I forgot how slow humans were. No wonder they're such easy preys._ Felix thought irritably, heaving a sigh as he trudged behind us.

I didn't care how impatient the annoying vampire got, I wasn't going to push Bella anymore, she was, after all, only human. As we went deeper into the tunnel, I almost picked her up, just to make Felix shut up his thoughts which were making me slightly irate, but I felt her shaking. I looked down, her face still in my hands, to see her teeth clattering; slight shivers were going through her body. Why hadn't I noticed this before? Did I want her to get sick? I reluctantly let go of her, but, needing to touch her somehow, I grabbed her hand.

"N-n-no," she stuttered in the cold, throwing herself onto me again. I smiled broadly, I had missed her stubbornness.

To make sure she didn't freeze completely, I rubbed my hands against her arms, allowing the friction to warm her.

We entered a thick barred gate and I slipped in quickly, helping Bella in as well. I saw her wince with worry as Demetri slid the lock shut, but it melted away when she saw the normal hallway. I felt the temperature rise, but I kept rubbing her arm, the warmth sent a pleasant tingle in my hand. Her lips were slowly turning red again, shying away from the purplish color it was becoming.

_Aw, Eddie, you're so tense. Bell-Bell is fine in our hands..._ Jane's thoughts ripped me violently away from Bella and onto her tiny figure. Her gift was the only thing that kept me from lunging at her tiny throat. But, then again, it was only mind over matter. If I could just convince myself that it was all fake...

_Edward, calm down. For Bella. You're worrying her._ Alice thought harshly as we entered the elevator that would take us to our doom.

Alice's thoughts brought me back to reality, where Bella was pressed against my body, slightly trembling, but, this time; it wasn't because of the cold. Even though I desperately wanted to just stare at Bella, Jane was taunting me with her thoughts, threatening me even. It's almost as if she knew the worst she could do to me would keep me from Bella. Well, she probably did.

_Wouldn't it be a shame if Felix somehow was told that Heidi didn't make it...He would be forced to feed on the only humans available! Gianna, and you're precious Bella. Wouldn't that be a site, Eddie?_

The seconds in the elevator dragged on like hours, but we had finally reached our destination; the "basement", or, lobby, that I had stumbled into yesterday. I watched Jane float across the room with sickening grace, someone so evil shouldn't be allowed to be so graceful.

Knowing Jane was a safe, well, the safest, distance away from Bella, I turned my attention back on my love. She was staring wide eyed at Gianna, who, just like yesterday, was thinking in third person. She wished Jane a good afternoon sweetly, but her thoughts were set at a different tone. _All that beauty could be yours, Gianna, if you play your cards right. Just another year or so, and they'll be begging you to join._

Felix strode past us, glad to finally be off "human watch", as he said in his head. _What I would do to sink my teeth in her neck..._ He winked suggestively at Gianna, who giggled, her thoughts sent into a frenzy.

Now that I actually had some of my sanity back, I felt pity toward the human. I realized that she loved Felix, from the way her heart raced whenever he even so much as glanced at her and that's why she expected to become one of them. Because, in her mind, he loved her, too. But, in all reality, Felix was just acting childish by playing with his food before he ate it. Foolish human.

I sensed a new presence, and looked to see Alec, looking as cheerful as before, enter the room. Reaching the impossible, he looked even more cheerful when he saw Jane, embracing her as a welcome. If I didn't have the power to read their mind, I would have thought it was a lover's embrace. But, I knew they were just brother and sister.

"Welcome back, Edward," Alec said, nodding a greeting, "You seem in a better mood."

That was the biggest understatement I had even heard. Of course I was in a better mood, Bella was in my arms. I wouldn't have it any other way, her warmth radiating onto my cold skin, warming my heart tremendously.

"Marginally," I said shortly, tightening my grip on Bella, who was looking at me curiously.

"And this is the cause of all the trouble?" Alec asked me, looking over Bella, chuckling softly. His thoughts were kind and very non-vampire, so I smiled fondly.

But Felix's thoughts made me stiffen, my hard expression came back immediately.

"Dibs."

I turned violently towards the monster; he was no match to me. I growled fiercely as he beckoned me closer. I was about to accept his offer when one of Alice's visions flashed through my mind quickly. In it, Bella was crying in pain as I flung her to the side to attack Felix, only to be side stepped. I shook my head, not wanting to see the end.

"Please," Alice said weakly, knowing she didn't need to beg, and, judging by her apologetic expression, she knew that I saw her vision. _You mustn't risk Bella's life just to save it. I do believe you have done that before._

I glared at her, how dare she bring that up!

_Don't look at me like that, Edward! It's the truth, and no one else is going to bring it up, except maybe Bella. But you deserve hell for what you put her through already. The least you can do is control your temper. It's far too out of control._

I was taken aback at her harsh thoughts, I would expect this from Rosalie, but never Alice; she was always the most understanding. I hung my head in shame, knowing she was right. I _did_ deserve hell. And that was just a few short steps ahead.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again," Alec continued, ignoring the silent conversation Alice and I were having.

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane sang, her thoughts still toying with me, as if she _wanted_ me to leave Bella's side just to attack her, giving Felix the perfect opportunity.

I only had enough strength to nod, due to the majority of it going to my control. I followed meekly as they led us to the Volturi's 'office', as Demetri was referring to it.

I watched Bella's expression turn from slight annoyance and fear to astonishment as she marveled the room that we were in. It looked as if she was absorbing every piece of furniture, every stone. She was always so perceptive to details, even the smallest ones. That was the first thing that had attracted me to her. Well, personality wise, her blood was a slap in the face to notice her as well.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" Aro cried, ripping me off of Bella. I almost growled in frustration, would I ever get a chance, before I died, to look at my love long enough to memorize her new features, that surely developed over the seven months of my absence?

I blocked them both out, not wanting to endure the chaos of the two minds colliding with the simple kiss, by staring at Bella again. Her eyes looked tired, as if she was ready to give up. I looked deeper into them to find bliss. She _was_ happy to be here, in some twisted way. Why would she be? I was positive she would hate me for what I did to her.

"And Alice and Bella, too!" Aro boomed, snapping me out of my Bella-trance, I hadn't realized he had began talking again, "This _is_ a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

I bit back at Bella's surprised expression at him knowing her name, she looked at me questionably, but I didn't respond, knowing Aro would explain later.

Aro sent Felix, thankfully, to go fetch Marcus and Caius, making me relax some now that the bastard was gone.

"You see, Edward? What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you want you wanted yesterday?" Aro said, his eyes lit up, dancing in the dim room.

"Yes, Aro, I am," I agreed honestly, pulling Bella even closer to my body. Her frame disappeared into my own as we meshed together. She sighed contently as the centimeter of space between us was closed.

"I love a happy ending," The word 'ending' hit me like a ton of bricks on a human, "They are so rare," Aro continued to gush over us like we were children, which, compared to his age, we were, "But I want the whole story. How did this happy? Alice?" He turned to her, curiosity filling his thoughts, "Your brother seemed to think you infallible, but apparently there was a mistake."

Alice replied with something, but, as I usually do with people, minus Bella, I blocked it out subconsciously. I never did think Alice was exactly infallible, per say, I just thought she wouldn't make a _mistake_; the word was like a plague in my mind, with something this serious.

_How does he know so much? How much did you tell him, Edward? Our life story?_ I frowned at Alice, giving her a look that said 'be nice'.

"I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend to get ahead of myself," Aro explained diligently, "Your brother introduced us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not." _What a lucky man!_

"And also exponentially more powerful," I interjected, not wanting Aro to sound insignificant, when he wasn't, "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head at the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

Alice raised her eyebrows, _Whoa, impressive._

I nodded ever so slightly as a response, looking down at Bella with concern. She hadn't uttered a word in over 10 minutes. Her face seemed distant as she watched on.

"But to be able to hear from a distance...," Aro had seen the silent communication Alice and I had just used, "That would be so _convenient._"

Aro turned sharply, but, at the same time, gracefully, to see Marcus and Caius enter. Everyone else eventually followed, as well as me, even though I knew by the varies of thoughts throughout the room.

Bella looked completely overwhelmed. I wanted to pick her up and carry her away to a simpler, safer, place where she and I could talk alone, if at all. I felt like she was here, but, at the same time, she wasn't. I was missing something, I believe human's called it communication? Wasn't that key in a relationship?

Wait, what relationship? I _ended_ that relationship months ago, there was nothing. Bella didn't need to communicate with me at all, because, to her, I was just an _ex_ boyfriend.

"Marcus, Cauis, look! Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?" Aro cried, as usual, happily.

_Wonderful is no way to describe making us come here 'urgently', just to see a human and a fortune teller._ Marcus bitterly thought as Caius floated to his throne, his thoughts completely out of comprehending range.

"Let us have the story," Aro said excitedly, reaching out for Marcus' hand, touching it ever so lightly.

_The relationship these three share...Especially the one between the boy and the human, is remarkable. I am truly taken aback by how strong it is, I can feel it in my core that they cannot survive without one another. You were correct, brother, the boy was not exaggerating._

I let out a snort, failing at suppressing it. Of course our relationship was strong, and of course we couldn't survive without each other! Why did he think we were here in the first place? For the _fun_ of it?

_What's so funny, Edward?_ Alice asked silently, sending me a questioning look. I just mildly shrugged, they'd find out soon enough.

Aro thanked Marcus, and Marcus went to go sit in his own throne, surrounding himself with his guards. They were just for show, the old vampire could kill me with just one hand, but he chose not to. Laziness had taken control over the years.

_What the hell did Marcus tell him, Edward? Damnit, I hate being out of the loop!_ Alice thought childishly, acting like a preschooler on the playground with her friends. I turned to her swiftly and silently explained, "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours."

"So convenient. It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I assure you."

Bella's sarcastic expression almost made me laugh, but I held back. Oh, what I wouldn't give to get inside that pretty little head of hers, if for only a moment...

"It's so difficult to understand, even know," Aro pointed out, staring at my arm which was wound tight around Bella. I tightened my grasp, "How can you stand so close to her like that?"

Well, I love her, you fool. "It's not without effort," I replied, keeping my nasty thoughts to myself.

"But still -- _la tua cantante_! What a waste!" Was this crone set on stating that fact every five minutes? I made it very clear that I knew her blood was special, and I also made it clear it wasn't a waste, because I loved her with every fiber in my being.

I chuckled, burying my irritation, "I look at it more as a price." Of her life.

"A very high price."

"Opportunity cost." Will this man ever drop it? Did I have to scream at him just how much I loved Bella, and how much I loved her blood? I didn't exactly want something I loved to just spill all over the floor like spoiled milk. Bella was so much more than that.

Aro laughed, I was covering my anger pretty well, "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you..." He died off, _finally_ understanding that I didn't think of it as a waste.

But I decided to finish his statement, only with my own sarcastic twist, "Waste it."

_Carlisle__ right there!_ "Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him -- only he was not so angry."

Probably because you never wouldn't shut the hell up about his love interests.

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well." I said simply, part of me wanting this conversation to be over. Another part, however, wanted it to continue, just to show Bella just _how_ much I loved, and love, her.

"I certainly never thought to see Carlisle bested for self-control of all things, but you put him to shame," Aro mused. His personality was as bubbly as a high school cheerleaders, for Christ's sake.

"Hardly," I said, impatience playing with my tone. How long was he planning on dragging this on? Start the killing already! So I could save my Bella.

Aro gushed more as I felt Bella tense up in my arms. I easily tuned him out and paid attention to my love as a look of curiosity mixed with fear took over her overwhelmed face. I felt extreme guilt, it was my fault she wasn't home, back in another _country_, curled up and asleep, and safe. It was my fault for everything bad in her life.

I tore my gaze from Bella and put it back on Aro, still not paying attention in the slightest to what was coming out of his mouth. I was focusing on Bella's breathing patterns, and how varied they were. Her heart rate never went down, from the moment she landed in my arms under the clock tower, to now, it was soaring. She seemed to be struggling to calm both, her breathing and her heart rate, but I wasn't sure. Was she trying to say something? Should I ask her?

"Just remembering how she appeals to you..." Aro continued, I finally thought he might have wanted a response to the speech he seemed to be giving, even though it didn't interest me in the least bit, "It makes me thirsty."

What? I tensed, my eyes widened, and my grasp on Bella became stronger. No way in hell Bella was going to have the life sucked from her by some thousand year old crone. I wouldn't allow it.

"Don't be disturbed," Aro commented on my obvious stance, "I mean her no harm. But I am _so_ curious, about one thing in particular. May I?" His eyes shifted to Bella, lifting one hand. _I would love to see if I can hear her thoughts!_

NO! I wanted to scream, but, instead, I coolly replied, "Ask _her_." She was human, not an animal who was incapable of making her own decisions.

"Of course, how rude of me!" He turned his attention to my love, "Bella, I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent -- so very interesting that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try -- to see if you are an exception for _me_, as well?"

I prayed to God, if there was one, that she would deny. Her eyes flashed to mine, her features twisted into obvious terror. But, having no choice, I had to nod. I watched carefully, ready to pounce if someone made a wrong move...

I watched as Bella raised her hand slowly, it was shaking. I wanted to tower over, protect her, from any fears. But this just wasn't an option.

_Try to look reassuring, she won't shake so much._ Aro thought as he glided closer. But the reassurement only made Bella shake more.

_What's this?_ he thought has their skin made contact, _I can't hear anything! Silence! This is so odd, maybe I'm not listening hard enough...Nothing!_

"So very interesting," he commented, letting go of Bella's hand, which stopped trembling almost immediately.

I couldn't help but think 'told you so'. Aro was stubborn, and this had finally put him in his place.

I watched Aro carefully as his eyes flickered between the three of us, Alice was unusually silent as she watched. She also had an odd sense of content to her... Like everything was going to work out somehow...

_So peculiar. How could a human be so special? She would definitely have a gift as a vampire! I wonder what it would be...And just how powerful..._

"A first," he said, breaking away from his silent thoughts, "I wonder is she is immune to our other talents...Jane, dear?"

Fear coursed through my veins and my eyes widened. "No!" I meant to shout the word, but it came out in a snarl. No one was going to inflict pain upon Bella, mental or otherwise. She had been though enough. Nothing, and I mean nothing, was stopping me from ripping Jane apart.

Alice grabbed my arm, attempting to restrain me from the attack I was planning. I jerked out of her grasp, but I was too late.

"Yes, Master?"

The fear was erupting into anger, bubbling out of me in snarls as I glared at Aro. He was not going to do this, there was no way. Hadn't anyone ever told him the story about curiosity and the cat? Well, I was curiosity. And he was about to be my cat.

Aro glanced at me, taken aback by my protective stance. _Well, someone does tend to overreact. Calm down, Edward. I'll only allow it for a moment._

His thoughts didn't soothe me. Imagine that.

"I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune to _you_." My snarls grew into loud growls as I let go of my love, moving in front of her, ready to attack, and use myself as a shield for whatever came her way. The commotion we were raising sparked Caius, and I vaguely heard him approach.

Jane faced us with a demonic smile, _Aw, cheer up, Eddie. If Bell-Bell is just so special, then I won't hurt her one bit. Now, please, move out of the way so I can _--

I didn't let her finish her thoughts before I launched myself at her, aiming for her throat.

"Don't!" Alice shouted, but it was far too late. I hit the ground with a thud and began withering in pain.

I was the one in Alice's vision. Not Bella. Somehow, throughout the pain, this satisfied me. It made it worth it.

* * *

**A/N:** 'Kay, this was my longest chapter yet, sorry for the wait! I didn't get that many reviews, boo! But, oh well, review this time!

Oh, and another thing, I had a few people say I was taking the dialogue from New Moon a lot. Well... I hate to be blunt, but what the hell did you think EPOV of New Moon would do? He isn't deaf, you know O.O I TRIED to spice things up, per say, and add more of his thoughts in this chapter. Please review and tell me what you thought. This chapter, surprisingly, took a lot of effort. Edward and Bella's relationship was so hard to capture here since they never talk... Boo.

Well, thanks for reading. Now, reviewwwww!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

_Thanks to Shining Eclipse, my oh-so-amazing editor (:_

* * *

"Stop!" I heard my angel's voice scream in horror; I could almost picture her reaching out for me. She sounded so far away... I didn't like it one bit. Knowing I had somewhat defended Bella made the extreme pain somewhat bearable.

Pain was in every pore of my body, coursing through my empty veins. I knew it was going to hurt, I just didn't calculate the _intensity_ of it. I never dreamed it would be this horrible. Every fiber of my being was screaming in anguish, my eyes felt as if they would bulge out of my skull.

As if to add onto the physical pain I was feeling, although I knew it was all mental, thoughts were growing chaotic. It's as if Jane's power was super charging my own, amplifying everyone's thoughts. None, except Alice's, however, were about me. It was as if I wasn't even here.

Finally, the pain stop, and my entire body collapsed even further into the stone floor. I didn't move, allowing my body to relax from its extreme tense position. Everything was absolutely quiet for a few sweet minutes, I didn't even hear the hum of tuned out thoughts.

_Please, Edward,_ Alice thought, _Bella's hurting. Let her know you're okay._

"He's fine," I heard Alice whisper as I sat up slowly, looking at Bella with horror, expecting her to be on the ground in pain. I glanced at Jane, who was thinking about what Bella would look like withering in pain.

_Why isn't anything happening?_ Jane thought furiously a few seconds later, glaring, _this...this _human_ is out smarting me, somehow!_

I couldn't help but smirk, Bella was too smart for the demon. I stood up and went to Bella's side quickly, pushing Alice away so I could touch her and be close again.

Aro let out a booming laugh, "This is wonderful!"

Jane didn't think it was so wonderful, she thought it was the complete opposite. Hateful thoughts for Bella shot through her head as she prepared herself to pounce. I stiffened, preparing to fight the stupid girl. Now that her thoughts were only about how Bella wasn't in pain, she would be too distracted to use her power on me. I could easily tear her frail body apart.

"Don't be put out, dear one. She confounds us all." Aro said comfortingly. _She's acting like a child...I will have to talk to her later._ Jane still remained in her pre-pouncing stance, her glare intensified.

"You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once -- just out of curiosity." Aro continued, shaking his head at the memory of him in pain, while smiling.

This crone was a complete idiot; I didn't see how Carlisle put up with him for so long. I looked upon him in disgust, how could he be so damn curious?

Then he asked the question I had been waiting on. "So what do we do with you now?"

They were going to kill us. I stiffened, and Alice did as well. That couldn't have been a good sign. _Jasper... I didn't even get to tell him that I loved him..._ Bella trembled under my strong grasp in fear.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind? Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company," Aro asked me hopefully.

Was this a trick question? If I didn't say yes, would he kill me? Surely he would. But, I'd rather take death than this life. "I'd...rather...not," I said slowly, just to make sure they knew I was serious.

"Alice? Would you perhaps be interested in joining with us?" Aro asked, his voice still hopeful.

"No, thank you," Alice replied swiftly, not even considering the consequences of her denial.

Aro's eyes made a beeline towards Bella. No. "And you, Bella?"

I couldn't help but hiss angrily, how dare he? I had just gotten her back, did he honestly think I would let them _turn_ her, and then keep her as their own? If she was going to become a vampire, she would spend eternity with me, not these old bastards.

"What?" Caius demanded, his eyes narrowing.

"Caius, surely you see the potential. I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?" Aro was trying to sound convincing, but it didn't work at all on old Caius, who just turned defiantly away.

_What? She outsmarts me, and then ruins my legacy? This human better die._ Jane thought angrily, her glare intensifying even more. I let out a low warning growl to the girl, she wouldn't be touching Bella, not with her power, and certainly not with her hands.

"No, thank you," Bella whispered, she was obviously frightened.

"That's unfortunate. Such a waste." Aro replied with a heavy sigh.

I was now fuming. "Join or die, is that it? I suspected as much when we were brought to _this_ room. So much for you laws," I snapped, ready to do the same to some necks as well. Despite what someone might have thought, my words were thought of carefully. I didn't want to say what I really thought, they were all idiotic nuisances, but I needed to get my opinion out there.

"Of course not," Aro said, taken aback by my words and the harshness of them, "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you."

So they were all gathered here for _food_, not to kill us? This wasn't some kind of twisted jury? We were, dare I ask it, going to survive? Joy filled every corner of my being, I would be with Bella longer than planned.

_She knows everything. He broke the law! _"Aro, the law claims them," Caius hissed, causing my joy to melt away, anger replacing it once more.

"How so?" I demanded, not having enough control to explain it to Bella or Alice. I wanted him to explain his accusation.

He pointed an accusing finger at my angel, my arm automatically wound around her tighter, "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets."

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well," I pointed out, my eyes narrowing into slits.

Caius smiled, it was wicked and evil. "Yes, but when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not." He seemed quite satisfied with his reasoning, but I knew it was beyond reasonable. Bella would never do that, she didn't even when I left her.

Bella seemed more appalled by the statement than I was, "I wouldn't --" She was cut short by an icy glare.

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," Caius continued as if Bella never objected, "Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true for this, only _her_ life is a forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

Anger swelled throughout me, boiling my venom. I couldn't help but to bare my teeth and snarl, there was no way I was leaving Bella to die, _again_.

"That's what I thought." I was two steps short of ripping the vampire to shreds, but the consequences of my actions would be major.

_Maybe they'll let me do the honors...I did give up that tasty woman last week to him, he owes me this one favor..._ Felix thought hungrily, leaning forward.

"Unless...," Aro interjected, his thoughts mirroring his displeased face, "Unless you do intend to give her immortality?"

That wouldn't be an option. Ever. As long as I had something to do with it, Bella would remain human. What could these crone's possibly do to me half-way around the country? I could lie easily. "And if I do?"

"Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle," Aro replied happily, but then his expression faded into something else, "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it."

_Ha! He'll never agree to it!_ Caius thought happily, perhaps even a bit triumphantly.

My lips went into a hard line as I searched Bella's chocolate brown eyes. If I agreed to this, I would never see her beautiful brown eyes again, they would be a crimson red for a year, then, if she chose to stay with us, a liquid gold. But, if I didn't agree, I would never see her eyes at all. She would be dead.

It was a loose-loose situation on my part.

"Mean it," my angel pleaded, her tone set at a whisper, "Please."

How could I damn her to this life? Where the days, months, years, _centuries_ sloshed together into one big mess. Where she had to fight every moment of her life to stick to her lifestyle, or, if she chose to leave us, not getting caught.

Bella was supposed to live a normal, happy, _human_ life, with or without me. I wasn't going to allow such a blasphemy! I couldn't! But I _had_ to... The one thing that never was an option became the only one, with just a few short words.

_Keep your thoughts right there. Let me handle this,_ Alice thought as she stepped up to Aro's out stretched hand, awaiting for me to somehow prove I wasn't lying.

_What a surprise! The future seeing one wants to show me! This would be absolute proof!_ Aro thought excitedly as he grabbed Alice's hand with obvious eagerness. The moment their skin collided, a stream of visions flashed through all three of our minds.

The first one was of me sinking my teeth into Bella's neck, her gasping with surprise, but nothing else. What Aro didn't know that this was a long-gone vision, Alice had it back when I had first met Bella and had such fantasies about killing her. Alice cut the vision short, leaving the part I hated most -- Bella lying lifeless on the floor.

I had to clamp my mouth shut in order not to cry out in pain of the memory. Back then, Bella was nothing more than another human, another human whose blood called out to me with such intensity that I could hardly control myself. I hadn't loved her, her death wouldn't have effected me as much emotionally as it would now.

The next one was one I had never seen before, Alice must have hid it well. In this vision, I saw that Bella's brown eyes were now bright red and distant, she seemed hesitant about something. A small, wicked smile was played upon her red stained lips all the same. Her skin was chalky white -- like ours. The vision boiled my non existent blood; no way in _hell_ was that happening.

Aro laughed, making me even angrier, with enlightenment at seeing the future, "That was _fascinating_!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Alice said, giving a fake smile.

Aro ignored the unfriendly tone of her voice and continued to gush, "To see the things you've seen -- especially the ones that haven't happened yet!" _Amazing,_ he thought all whilst shaking his head in wonder.

"But that will," Alice insisted, her voice oddly calm. Alice was always good at keeping things from people, having to live with me, where I knew everyone's secrets.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem," Aro said, causing me to smile slightly to myself. He had no idea Alice had cheated him.

But I knew the second vision was something new, it had to be. There were more threats for Bella in the future, I hadn't done it to her. I knew this because I had already made up my mind about _not_ changing Bella, and Alice's visions relied on certain decisions. Someone else's teeth and venom were going to be injected into my angel. The very thought of it made me fume.

I could hear Felix and Jane's disappointment, as well as Caius, who was craving to drink from Bella as well.

"Aro," Caius complained in a slightly whiney tone. He was acting like a child!

"Dear Caius, do not fret. Think of the possibilities! They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future. Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household... Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out!" Aro exclaimed, oblivious to the exact reason why Caius was disappointed and whiney.

Before Felix could fulfill his fantasy about Bella, I spoke up. "Then we are free to go now?" I kept my tone even, surprisingly.

"Yes, yes. But please visit again. It's been absolutely enthralling!" Aro sang out with a smile.

Oh, yes. It's been an absolute _joy_.

"And we will visit you as well," Caius hissed, but he had a calmness to him, "To be sure you follow through on your side. Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances."

Damnit, damnit, damnit! I clenched my jaw, to make sure I didn't snap at him. He was irritable as it was. I nodded once, not wanting to give him the complete satisfaction of surrender.

My one nod had been enough to entitle him to gloat, a triumphant smirk spread over his features as he turned away, back to doing whatever he was doing when Aro wasn't thinking about allowing us to go scott-free.

_I don't think I can control this anymore. I need blood, anyone's blood! Her's will do just fine, too!_ Felix thought with a groan.

"Ah, Felix, Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience," Aro mused with a smile. He too was thirsty, but he also knew better than to have fantasies about him sucking my angel dry. He had angered me enough.

I then thought of what my poor Bella's reaction would be when she saw the crowd of humans, her kind, being led into here, and maybe witnessing some die. She was vulnerable and innocent in those areas still, and I wanted those qualities to last as long as I could make them.

"Hmm. In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later," I half stated, half suggested. Even though these crones pissed me off to no end, they were superiors, and my mother, my _human_ mother, had taught me to respect those in authority, as well as my elders.

Aro nodded in agreement, "Yes. That's a good idea. Accidents _do_ happen. Please wait below until after dark, though, if you don't mind."

"Of course," I said politely, my hostile attitude melting away at the thought of leaving soon.

"And here," Aro added, taking Felix's gray cloak and tossing it to me, I caught it, of course, "Take this. You're a little conspicuous."

I put the cloak on, wondering how wearing 10th century cloathing would make me less conspicuous than being shirtless. I didn't question it, as long as they allowed me to leave as soon as possible.

_Look how good it looks on him... Like it's meant to be..._ "It suits you," Aro said with a small sigh, he sounded disappointed.

The Volturi had enough problems without me, I thought with a chuckle. But my laugh was broke off by an approaching crowd of humans. Their dinner had arrived. "Thank you, Aro. We'll wait below."

"Goodbye, young friends," Aro called as I directed Bella to the door, but she didn't seem to register that we needed to go _now_.

"Let's go," I almost pleaded. I really didn't want Bella to see what was on the menu...

Demetri took lead, directing us back to the door we had entered in. The room only had one, making an almost impossible escape.

I tugged Bella along, wanting to get out of there before she saw the crowd, but Alice let out a sigh, "Not fast enough." I cursed myself as I saw Bella look up at her, fright evident on her face, seeing her hear the voices of tonight's special grow louder.

_Sorry, Edward. I know you wanted to leave before they came... If you hurry, you can escape the noises..._ Demetri thought apologetically as he motioned for us to make room. I flattened myself and Bella against the stone wall. I fought the urge to cover Bella's eyes, knowing she'd just get annoyed and claim she wasn't a baby. But she didn't understand the innocence she had that could be compared to a baby.

"Welcome guests! Welcome to Volterra!" Aro boomed from inside the chamber, his voice welcoming, as well as excited.

I tuned out the nervous hum of thoughts and watched Bella carefully, who was watching one woman in particular, who seemed to understand something was wrong.. She kept asking '_Where are you taking me? Dear Lord, can someone help me?_', all while clutching a rosary close to her chest. She didn't realize God could do nothing to help her now.

I pulled Bella's face on top of my heart, hoping she hadn't registered what was going on. But, judging by the horrified expression that played over her features after I pushed her towards the door, I was too late.

Tears began to pool in my angel's eyes, as she watched Demetri and Heidi converse with curiosity. I ignored everything they were saying, it wasn't of importance. The only thing important right now was getting Bella away from the chamber of feeding vampires, and _fast_.

I pushed her more, making her break out into a steady run. But it wasn't fast enough. By the horrified expression that was on her face, she had heard the screams of death. My angel's innocence was ruined.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay for getting it out :D And yay for the 4 people who reviewed, I love-ith you!  
Don't you wish you were one of those 4, if you aren't?  
Psh.  
Anyway, review!  
Yay for short author's notes that no one reads XD!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

"Are you alright?" I asked Bella, even though I knew the answer. I just wanted to hear her say it, giving me permission to comfort her. She was trembling madly, I didn't know if it was from being cold, or from plain fear.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls. She's going to pieces," Alice said before my love could respond.

A momentary look of confusion filled Bella's eyes as her chest heaved, making the most peculiar noise. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, but she continued to shake violently.

"Shh, Bella, shh," I whispered, attempting at being comforting, as I lead her vibrating frame to the couch farthest from Gianna, who was eaves dropping as every nosey human would do. She envied Bella in her thoughts, having 'someone so beautiful' as me care so much. This human was really amusing, I half hoped they kept her.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested, almost frantic. She obviously didn't know what to do anymore than I did, which caused me to be frantic as well.

I had caused all of this. My Bella was suffering yet again because of _me_. I was a never ending curse on her very existence. Because of me, she was close to hysterics, if not already in them. Because of me, she was half way across the _world_ from her home. Because of me, she has to be damned to this...this life. Or, better put as after life. Whatever it is that we do.

"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right," I purred soothingly, hiding all of my worry with ease. I pulled her into my lap, careful to wrap the thick cloak around her, happy it served another purpose other than protecting my 'secret', the purpose of keeping her from catching a cold -- or worse.

"All those people," my angel sobbed, still shaking.

Having nothing better to say, I whispered, "I know."

"It's so horrible." Her sobs were growing even more now, her eyes glazed over by tears, every time she blinked she would shed a layer of tears, just to gain another. I could barely see her beautiful brown eyes... Oh, how I missed those eyes...

"Yes, it is," I agreed, "I wish you hadn't had to see that."

She let out a sigh and rested her head against my chest, using the cloak to dry her face. I heard her take a few deep breaths, hurling her scent at me like a freight train. I soaked it in, basking in it even.

"Is there anything I can get you?" Gianna asked, having gotten bored with simply eaves dropping.

"No," I replied coldly. What I wanted a half crazy human couldn't give me. What I wanted was my Bella to calm herself, to be the happy Bella she was back in September; I knew that was asking of something short of a miracle.

After Gianna left, Bella turned to me, her tear flow slowing down, "Does she know what's going on here?" Her tone threatened to attempt to do something hurtful to me if I didn't answer truthfully. Even though I knew she couldn't hurt me, except emotionally, if she wanted to, I decided to be honest.

"Yes. She knows everything."

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?" her voice was distant, as if she was trying to distract herself from something. I resisted the extreme urge to kiss her.

"She knows it's a possibility," I replied flatly, not wanting to elaborate on the subject. But something told me Bella would force it, "She's hoping they'll decide to keep her."

Shock filled her face as blood left it, "She wants to be one of them?"

I nodded sharply, shouldn't this sound familiar to her? What Bella wanted was almost the same thing as Gianna wanted, and Bella was acting as if it was the biggest mistake ever. Could her wants had changed over my seven month long absence?

"How could she want that?" she whispered with a shudder. She coiled into my chest, pure disgust was written on her face.

Was this what she thought of me now? A disgrace? Did she loathe me so, that she hated my very species? I felt my face shift into confusion, why was she clinging onto me when she couldn't stand my kind? Not that I blamed her, especially after everything I put her through today, not to mention these last few months.

Suddenly, the sobbing began again, and her hands twisted into my cloak, "Oh, Edward." Hearing her say my name was utter bliss, even if it was in vain.

"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously, attempting to soothe her by rubbing her back gently.

She untwisted her hands from my cloak and wrapped her hands around my neck, sending pleasant tingles throughout my body, "Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?"

I felt like I was on a high, I needed her closer. Oh, fuck it; I needed _her_. I pulled her close and inhaled her sweet scent that had driven me to the point of insanity only a year before. Now I couldn't get enough of it; I thrived of her very smell.

"I know exactly what you mean." I felt the need to whisper, so, that's what I did, "But we have lots of reasons to be happy." I paused, not sure if I should leave it there. I decided against it, "For one, we're alive."

She nodded, her sobs turned into sniffles, "Yes. That's a good one."

I couldn't hold back any longer, I needed to know, without being obvious, if she was revolted by me now. "And together."

Her face twisted into something I'd never seen before when it came to being together -- it looked like a mixture of hurt and confusion. It was heart wrenching to see an expression such as that upon her beautiful features, especially knowing that I had caused it.

"And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow," I joked, hoping I hid my desperation in my voice, I was trying my hardest to change the subject off of her sweet, subtle, rejection.

"Hopefully," she said, not catching my joking tone, or, just not in the mood for playfulness. Her tone was shakey; her fear evident.

"The outlook is quite good," Alice said, coming to my rescue by swiftly changing the subject, "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours."

I envied her and Jasper's relationship; they were inseparable, almost never fighting. They had never even come close to staying angry at each other for more than 5 minutes, not to mention just _leaving_ like I did to Bella... My poor, poor, Bella.

I felt her eyes bore into me, burning a hole through me. I looked at my love with sorrow, I hoped she didn't see it that way. I knew come time we returned to America she wouldn't want me any longer, we'd go our separate ways once more, sending me back into my lonely depression. I didn't want to leave her...

Her lids began to droop occasionally, making me smile ever so slightly. I traced the purple like circles under her brown eyes. "You look so tired," I pointed out, the humor I felt not showing up in my tone.

"And you look thirsty," she retorted, not looking into my eyes, but under them.

I had only vaguely noticed the uncomfortable burning in the back of my throat, it was mild compared to the burning I felt in my body, where her skin touched mine. I shrugged, "It's nothing."

"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice," she suggested, her tone betraying her words. Even if she did want me to go hunt, I wasn't going to leave her here alone. I believe I've caused enough damage as it was. I was just one big mistake when it came to Bella.

"Don't be ridiculous," I sighed, "I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature than right now."

How could I even be tempted to drink from her? Sure, her scent was luring, but only to the point where I enjoyed it, the burning in the back of my throat became more distant with every breath she took; it was as if just smelling her was satisfying my thirst. I wouldn't doubt it though, due to the strange things I'd been doing lately.

It was still so surreal, having Bella laying in my arms again. It was even more blissful having her hold me as well, showing she wanted me in some sort of ways. I couldn't take my eyes off of her; I needed to memorize every feature, every breath, before she pushed me away. I never wanted to forget this moment; in my head, we were suspended in time. Nothing else mattered except us.

"How do you plan on returning, dear brother?" Alice said at vampire speed, so Gianna couldn't hear. I knew Bella could, and I didn't care.

"Well, dear sister," I mocked, "I wasn't exactly planning on returning."

"Right," she replied hesitantly, pursing her lips, "Then I guess we'll leave the way we came."

"Good thinking, Alice! I was planning on swimming across the ocean. You saved me a lot of trouble." I replied dryly, sarcasm dripping from my words.

I saw her lips turn into a small smile, _I missed you_.

"I missed you, too," I whispered, returning her smile. Alice was always fun to banter with, she understood my humor more than anyone. Besides Carlisle, I was closer to Alice than anyone else in the family. These past seven months without her had been hell; these past seven months without _anyone_ had been hell. South America isn't all it was cracked out to be.

"You should probably make the arrangements," I pointed, nodding towards the cell phone I knew that was in her hands.

She whipped the tiny device out in a flash, then huffing, "I get horrible reception in this dum— er," she caught herself, "place."

"Move around a bit," I suggested, "Maybe it's just the spot you're standing in."

Alice nodded, and jumped around in different areas of the room. I bit back my laughter, the pixie looked like a bug when it was trapped in a closed in space. "Having trouble?" I teased.

Alice just shot me a glare, "Shut your mouth. Do you want me to schedule our flight or do you want to stay here?"

I pretended to ponder, "I think they have wonderful living arrangements." I didn't want to mention that just staying here would erase my fear of Bella pushing me away once we returned home.

I watched as Alice rolled her eyes, then doing a triumphant jump, finding some cellular service in the underground waiting room. I chuckled at her annoyed thoughts as the man on the other end booked our flights, which were, of course, because I had left the planning to Alice, first class.

"What was all that talk about _singers_?" Alice asked, breaking the short comfortable silence that had overcome us.

"_La tua cantante_," I sang, allowing the words to flow off of my tongue. My reply didn't answer her question, I realized with a soft chuckle at her bemused expression.

"Yes, that."

I shrugged, "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my _singer_ -- because her blood sings for me."

Alice laughed in reply, thinking about the lame metaphor. I knew it was lame, but it was the truth. Bella's blood called out to me, sweetly singing such as a siren did to the Greek sailors.

I looked down at Bella's eyes, which were getting closer to shutting with every blink she made. I kissed her eyelids softly, willing her to fall asleep. She still fought to stay awake.

"So, how was your vacation, anyway?" Alice asked with a smirk. She was the only one who didn't put my feelings ahead of her words; she didn't care if she hurt my feelings. And, for that, I was grateful.

"Oh, absolutely enthralling," I replied sarcastically, returning her smirk, "It was like the beach with no sand or water. You would have loved it." I placed another kiss upon Bella's forehead.

"I'm so sure. It's a shame you didn't take me with you."

"And separate you and Jasper?" I snorted, "That's something I'd definitely not rather try. For the sake of my sanity." My lips grazed the tip of Bella's nose; I hoped she didn't think I was pushing it. It was all I could do to not to press my lips against hers with passion.

"Your sanity? Edward, you ran off out of no where, leaving the things you loved more than yourself," Alice looked at Bella, although I knew she was talking about the family as well, "And you want to say having me there with you would take it away?"

I knew she had a point, even with a Jasper-less Alice there, she couldn't had made me anymore insane than I already was. I let out a chuckle, "You're right."

She gave a smug smirk, "I know I am."

I looked down and smiled as my angel dozed off. She needed the sleep. Alice was thinking about what she and Jasper would do once she got home... Despite the sickening fantasies, I envied her again. I wanted more than anything to be able to hold Bella the way Jasper held Alice. I wanted to kiss Bella the way Emmett kissed Rosalie. I wanted to be able to be _connected_ to Bella the way Carlisle was to Esme.

My insides twisted at the knowledge of knowing that, if she forgave me, and chose to stay with me, I would have it all soon. It was bitter sweet. Having Bella forever, every single day of forever, was the sweet part. Having Bella loose the little human things that I thrived upon, was the bitter part.

_Just a warning, Edward. I'm coming through the doors._ Alec's warm thoughts called out to me, and I tightened my grip on Bella, because I didn't want to let her go to wake her, not because I feared Alec, although I probably should, considering his gift... But I knew he would only use his powerful gift only if absolutely necessary. **(A/N: see below for details)**

"You're free to leave now," Alec said with care. He turned around and began to walk back out again, then added, "We ask that you don't linger in the city." _Oh, and, Edward, I'm terribly sorry for my sister..._

"That won't be a problem." I was still cold with this vampire, he was just so... friendly. Alec gave a me a nod and a warm smile, then disappeared through the door once again.

"Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators. The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now." Gianna said, with an almost taunting pleasant tone.

Alice glared at the human, _How could someone who wants so much power sound so... sweet?_

I led Bella through the lobby and out the door as quickly as possibly, as if someone change their minds and come for us; not that I doubted it. We were greeted by the hundreds of people in black cloaks similar to mine with silly plastic fangs in their mouth. I couldn't help but wonder what they would do if they found out that vampires didn't have fangs... And their own mother could be one and not know it. They probably wouldn't respond too well, I decided, they might even be in denial.

_I'm going to go get our things... Meet up with you at the gates. I'll get us some transportation as well,_ Alice thought, swiftly slipping away.

"Ridiculous," I mumbled at the Halloween-type outfits, some where pathetic with how far fetched they were.

"Where's Alice?" Bella said suddenly, sounding panicked.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning," I replied, hoping to soothe her.

Her expression of panic changed into something brighter, and I cheered up as well. It was wonderful to see her so joyous.

"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?"

I let a grin spread out across my features; her tone was amusing, "Not till we're outside."

As we walked further, I saw her stumble tiredly. Considering the time change, I was greatly surprised she didn't collapse completely.

Knowing she would have fought if I picked her up, I just snaked my arm around her waist and supported most of her weight, willing her trip to be quicker. Soon, at my pace, we were at the city's entrance. The stone arch towered above us; I felt Bella shudder as she looked up at it.

_Over to your left, Edward,_ Alice thought. I looked over to my left to see a dark car, seeing Alice inside it, waving us over. I lead Bella over, helping her into the backseat. I followed swiftly, hoping she wouldn't object.

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized, patting the dashboard quickly, "There wasn't much to choose from." _I wish I could still have that lovely 911 Porsche…_

I grinned, typical Alice. We survived our near deaths safely, and all she could think about was how much she missed her stolen car. "Its fine, Alice. They can't all be 911 Turbos."

Despite herself, a sigh escaped her lips, "I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous."

The sad tone was evident in her voice, it saddened me as well. "I'll get you one for Christmas," I swore. It was the least I could do; she did, after all, save my life, _and_ reunite me with my love.

She turned, making Bella squirm, and me grin, _Do you really mean it?_ I nodded once, making her smile broadly.

"Yellow," she added, happily turning around to face the road again. She warmed up to the car, especially now when she had the knowledge she wouldn't ever have to drive a 'low class' one such as this one ever again. She would soon have a yellow Porsche.

I tuned out Alice's thoughts, she was having vision after vision of herself in her soon-to-be new car, and turned to Bella once again. She looked overly comfortable in the cloak, close to me. She must be really tired, who could get _comfortable_ while snuggling to a cold vampire? Not to mention one that broke your heart.

"You can sleep now, Bella. It's over," I mumbled, placing another kiss on her warm forehead.

I heard her swallow, making a soft gulping sound. She buried her face in my chest even more, "I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired."

Truth be told, I didn't want her to sleep either, I wanted her to stay awake as long as possible, because, as usual, I was being selfish. I wanted Bella awake, and not objecting. I knew it would have to end once we were back to Forks. But, as long as we were in another country, even the plane, I had Bella, and could easily pretend she was mine again…

I pressed my lips under her ear and scrounged up the most convincing tone I could muster, "Try."

But, of course, seeing that it was Bella, she defiantly shook her head. Bella wasn't like everyone else, as I noticed the moment I had met her, she didn't fall into my certain tones as easily as other humans did, unless she wanted to.

I sighed, "You're still just as stubborn." The words tumbled out of my mouth with glee; I _wanted_ her to be the same.

I watched her in wonderment as she fought with her lids, willing herself to stay awake. I thought back to the eventful day, feeling slightly guilty that I had no regrets, not even that I had put Bella through this nightmare.

Damnit! Why was I so selfish? Over the year and a half of knowing of Bella's existence, I had come to the conclusion that the reason I didn't kill Bella when I first met her was due to _selfishness_. I wanted her to myself, forever, and I couldn't do that if she was dead.

My selfish nature was both a blessing and a curse on Bella. It had saved her, as well as damned her.

As I looked on my angel, my love, I wondered, as always, how she could have, and possibly still, love a selfish bastard as myself. I moaned quietly, pulling her closer and tighter than ever. I knew I didn't have much time left with her…

* * *

**About Alec's gift: **Okay, so, as we know, Stephenie never specifies on Alec's gift in New Moon, nor Eclipse. But, thanks to an interview I read to educate me on Jane's past for my one-shot, I know Alec has a gift ten times more powerful to Jane's. But, I do not know what the gift is; therefore, I left it out in the open for your imaginations. Because I respect Stephenie's work, I'm not going to invent some other gift for him. Sorry.

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks for reading, guys! I have to say, that this was my favorite chapter by far to write, because I got to write the majority of the dialouge ;D  
I've gotten some great reviews on this story and it makes me really happy!  
But the thing that doesn't make me happy is knowing that I got 100+ hits on my last chapter, but only 3 reviews.  
So, I'm deeply considering making Jacob imprint on Edward, or Edward fall in love with an inanimate object such as a tree, if I don't get at least 10 reviews. My standards are low, so, please, fulfill them :D  
-_Edwards Smile_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

_You should read my new story ;) I'll talk to you more at the bottom...  
Oh, and, don't worry. Jake didn't imprint on Edward... And Edward did not fall in love with Chelsea's toe ):_

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Once we arrived at the airport, Alice gave Bella and I new clothes, considering me wearing nothing but a cloak and flimsy pants wasn't exactly inconspicuous. I changed at rapid speed, and deserted the annoying garment in the alley way.

We boarded the plane to Rome, which only took about an hour or so. We could have taken a train and gotten here around the same time. I sat next to Bella on this flight, of course, and watched as she dozed off every couple of seconds, only to fight her eyes open again. She was clinging to my side the entire time.

Once we boarded the plane destined for Atlanta, I knew she had to sleep. Before she collapsed from exhaustion. But, as usual, she stubbornly refused, and ordered a coke.

"Bella," I sighed, shaking my head slightly. I remembered the last time she drank coke before bed, she couldn't fall asleep for hours.

"I don't want to sleep," she said, then, changing her tone to a whimper, "If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares."

I bit my lip and allowed her to sip her soda. I didn't want her to see things she didn't want to see anymore than what she went through tonight. She'd seen enough for a lifetime, that's for damn sure.

I looked at her face carefully; it looked like she was having an argument inside her head. I sighed softly and took her face in my hands, happy to have her so close. I carefully traced her features, so I wouldn't forget them. She seemed to want the same, for she touched my face as well. I couldn't help but to kiss her in all respectable ways, fearing of rejection if I kissed her lips.

God, she was so beautiful... My head pounded with pleasure with someone so lovely so close.

I looked away, my hands still caressing her face gently, hoping she would go to sleep in the silence, and, if she didn't want to, she would talk to me. But, she remained silent, and so did I, because I didn't think she wanted to talk.

Right when I was getting ready to say something, the head Stewardess made an announcement saying that we were getting ready the land. I sighed quietly, even with Bella in my life, it was always showing me just how bad it could be. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy.

We got off the plane in an eerie silence, Alice was too anxious to see Jasper to talk, Bella was too tired, and I was too nervous; perhaps a little heartbroken. I didn't want this night to end, I didn't want to ever let go of Bella. Ever.

_Jasper!_ Alice's thoughts screamed above the hum of the other thoughts, as well as spoken words. I looked to see the two reunite happily. I looked at Bella soon enough to see her blush and turn her face towards the picture window in the terminal. I felt an involuntary small smile on my lips; I loved when she blushed.

_Oh, God, he is alright!_ Esme's sweet thoughts came to me loudly, I found her with Carlisle in a secluded area. I knew she was purposely screaming her thoughts so I would hear them, the small smile never left my mouth.

Esme clutched herself onto Bella happily, her thoughts gushing with pride, and a little anger towards me. I chuckled at my mother, she always did mean well. I never let go of Bella, though. I wasn't ready, and I didn't want to. She was still mine, we weren't to her house yet.

Esme, after whispering her thanks in Bella's ear, turned to me, her eyes, as well as voice, were kind, but harsh. "You will _never_ put me through that again." It wasn't a statement, but a demand.

I couldn't help but grin. From the little that I remembered of my own mother, Esme reflected it. "Sorry, Mom."

Carlisle cleared his throat slightly, and smiled, "Thank you, Bella, we owe you." _I will have a talk with you later, Edward._

My smile faded into a slight frown at this. I knew he wasn't going to scold me, but I didn't want to be guilted anymore.

"She's dead on her feet," Esme chided me, "Let's get her home."

I felt my heart drop as Bella fell slightly limp in my arms. Like I did back in Volterra, I supported the majority of her weight as she walked, well, staggered, through the airport. Esme helped me, although unneeded, but I showed no objection.

As we approached the car, I heard a soft, soothing, voice, which surprisingly belonged to Emmett. Rosalie's thoughts shot at me, full of worry and apology. I stiffened, and began to back away, but Esme stopped me.

"Don't. She feels awful."

"She should." My normal voice came as a shout in the almost empty parking deck.

"It's not her fault," Bella said tiredly, rubbing her eyes. Her voice stunned me, leaving me speechless long enough for Esme to say something before I could respond.

"Let her make amends. We'll ride with Alice and Jasper." Esme pleaded out loud, for the sake of Bella; she knows Bella gets annoyed when we have silent half-conversations.

I just glared at Rosalie menacingly, she didn't deserve my amends. That low-life, self-absorbed, stupid vampire. It was a wonder how Emmett could put up with someone like that; especially if he was the complete opposite.

"Please, Edward." Bella pleaded softly, tightening her grip on me.

I just sighed, being left speechless by my angel's glorious voice once again, and led her to the car, dreading the reunion that awaited. I waited until Rosalie and Emmett jumped in the front when I helped Bella into the backseat. The moment her bottom touched the leather, her head collapsed into my chest, giving a soft, tired, sigh. Her eyelids had finally won the hour upon hour fight.

"Edward," _I'm so sorry... I was thinking about the family, and not you. I'm sorry._ I felt the car hum to a start as we pulled out.

"I know," I interrupted, trying to keep my tone even, and not as cold as I wanted it to be.

"Bella?"

I stiffened, knowing her thoughts were nothing cruel like usual, but it was a reaction. Bella's face look completely taken back, and it took her a few moments to register that she should reply.

"Yes, Rosalie?" She sounded hesitant, I felt guilty for causing even _more_ stress on her, even though I knew I hadn't caused this.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me," Rosalie gushed emotionally. I'm sure if she would be able to cry, the tears would be flowing freely. I knew, because of her pig-headedness, she was embarrassed, but she didn't let it stop her. My hard emotions melted away somewhat.

"Of course, Rosalie. It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you," Bella slurred tiredly, her face still in my chest, and my arm still wrapped protectively around her. I briefly wondered if that area was growing numb from the cold of my skin.

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose," Emmett teased. _Missed you, Ed._ He glanced in the rearview mirror and I gave him a small nod of acknowledgment.

"I'm conscious," Bella insisted, her own slurred words gave her away, causing Emmett and I to chuckle.

"Let her sleep," I prodded, shifting her so she was laying down completely in my lap.

Emmett and Rosalie complied, leaving the car in silence, well, silence for them. I would still hear Emmett's musing about how the family was together again happily, typical Emmett thoughts, and Rosalie faintly admiring her reflection, typical Rosalie thoughts. I held back a sigh of contentment, knowing the familiarity would all end soon.

What seemed like hours, we arrived at Bella's house. I heard Charlie's distant thoughts perk to life, he was seated in front of the front window, just like he'd done yesterday, awaiting Bella's return. He wasn't as angry as I had thought he was, just overly worried.

His worried thoughts quickly turned to relief when he saw Bella being picked out of the car. "Bella!" His tone voiced his relief.

Bella mumbled something, catching me off guard. I shushed her quickly as I carried her closer to her doorstep.

But, unfortunately for me, Charlie's thoughts faded into the missing anger when he saw who was carrying his child. "I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here!" Charlie roared, his face turning an unsafe shade of red. I kept my stance relaxed for Bella's sake, although I wanted to hide in shame.

Bella groaned silently for him to stop, but only I could hear her.

_Why is he carrying Bella? Does she have a broken leg? Oh, God, what if it's worse?_ "What's wrong with her?" His tone softened a little at the questioning of his daughter.

"She's just very tired, Charlie. Please let her rest," My tone was quiet and pleading, hoping it would soften him up.

But, like any parent when it came to their kid, my charm didn't work. "Don't tell me what to do! Give her to me. Get your hands off her!" he snapped, breaking into a run to approach us faster.

I attempted to pass my love to her father, but her hands remained clamped rightly onto the front of my shirt. _Why won't she come to me? Has this boy brainwashed her to hate me?_ Charlie thought frantically, tugging desperately on her arm. I pulled back some, in fear of Bella's shoulder being ripped out of socket.

"Cut it out, Dad. Be mad at _me_," Bella snapped, opening her eyes, revealing a death glare. I had never seen her eyes so angry before, it startled me, as well as her father.

"You bet I will be," he promised, although his thoughts were nothing but hurt feelings, "Get inside."

I sighed, setting Bella down so that she was standing upright. She staggered for a moment, before falling, her legs giving out on her. I dove to the rescue, before the sidewalk could flaw her.

"Just let me get her upstairs," I suggested, my tone still pleading, "Then I'll leave."

"No!" Panic was evident in Bella's voice as she pulled herself closer to me.

"I wont be far," I promised low in her ear. If she didn't want me to leave, nothing was stopping me from staying. She seemed to be soothed, for she relaxed slowly in my arms.

_What makes him so special?_ Charlie scoffed silently. "Fine. Be quick. Don't stay longer than needed. I have a gun, you know."

I bit back my smile, knowing if he did shoot me, I wouldn't die. Wouldn't that be wonderful to explain!

I hoisted my love up to her room and pried her clenched fingers off the front of my shirt with ease, and laying her on her bed. I watched as her breathing became even and regular. She had passed out from exhaustion, as I knew what would happen.

I walked out to see Charlie standing at the door, his face grim, and his mouth in a straight line. _The boy thinks he can just walk right back into Bella's life! He has no idea over how heart broken she was... How vacant. And just as she was returning to normal, too! How dare he!_

However, his angry, and hurtful thoughts never made it out loud, so I gave him a short nod before exiting the house silently. I jumped in the awaiting vehicle.

"Just drive to the end of the street and let me out there," I directed Emmett, who was having a conversation about the complexity of mirrors with Rosalie. I dismissed the need to snort.

He obliged without questioning. We said our goodbyes and I ran as fast as I could back to Bella's. Taking the same route up to her room I had done so many times before, what seemed like years ago, I entered, to see her still sleeping, curled up in a small ball on the left side of her bed. Had she always slept like this? She hadn't when I just watched her... She must have kept the habit even in my absence. I smiled slightly, tucking the covers around her tightly so she wouldn't get sick, and laid down silently next to her.

"Edward," she mumbled, obviously still asleep, "Edward, I love you..."

My breath hitched and I caressed her skin lightly, "I love you, too, Bella. Forever."

I knew she couldn't hear me, but I pourd out every bit of passion I had in my body to her; I hoped I gave her the sweetest dreams. It was the very least I could do.

* * *

**A/N:** Alright, I'm mildly disappointed in you guys. I only got half of my requested amount of reviews. But, I'm fine with it.  
Let's try to beat 5 this time, yeah?  
You guys are lucky I didn't follow through with my threats ;P I was very tempted... mwahahaha.  
But, "Twilight Gone Gay" and "Objectaphilia" is, and I quote, too tempting XD

Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, I suppose you would call it a filler.

Oh, and I was questioned about my gender...  
Yes, I really am a girl, LMAO.  
Unless being a guy will get me more reviews... bahaha.  
lul, wut? I'm a review whore :P


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns everything. I just put it in Edward's perspective(:

_Just a warning: My doctor put me on Xanax, so some if this stuff may be...weird... xD_

* * *

The night went by slowly, sweetly. Bella would occasionally whisper something beyond understanding, causing my head to pound tremendously. More than ever I wished to be able to get inside her head at the moment, to see what she was dreaming about. And I've wished pretty damn hard.

Her breathing picked up, and I knew she was awaking from her slumber. A low whimper escaped her lips, as if she was exiting a nightmare, or a really good dream. I cursed myself for not being able to read her mind, although I knew it wasn't my fault. But I also knew it was a good thing I couldn't, due to her thoughts of rejection. I would have to hear her say them, I didn't want to hear her _think_ them, too.

I saw her squeeze her eyes together, shaking her head, as if denial. Was she still dreaming? I glanced at the clock; although it was almost one in the morning, she'd slept all day, it was time to wake up. With this thought, I pressed my lips against her forehead lightly.

I tightened my grasp around her, willing her to wake up, but she only clenched her eyes tighter, her face twisted as if in pain. Did she want me to leave?

Finally, a sigh escaped her lips, and she opened her eyes slowly.

I searched them hungrily for a reaction. At first, they were surprised, then confused, then doubtful. "Oh!"

As quickly as they opened, she slammed them shut again, throwing her fist in front of them as well. I watched in slight horror, perhaps even amusement, as she fought with herself internally. I was becoming overly anxious waiting for her official reaction; she _could_ still be waking up at the moment.

Slowly, her eyes opened, hesitation written all over them.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked, my anxiousness shining through my voice.

My question remained unanswered as her eyes scanned my face, her hesitation turned to pain. For once, she wasn't hiding her emotions from me, making it so I didn't have to read her thoughts to know what she was thinking; feeling.

She blinked rapidly, confusion crossing her face; as well I'm sure my face mirrored it as well. What was her problem?

"Oh _crap_." Was all she was able to choke out, astonished.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, preparing myself for rejection.

She frowned; great. I sat up slightly, slight enough that she wouldn't notice, getting ready to leave, for she was surely about to ask.

"I'm dead, right?" her answer, well, question, rendered me speechless. "I _did_ drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."

What about me? Didn't she care about what her death would do to me, as well? Stop being selfish, Edward. Then it hit me. "You're not dead."

"Then why am I not waking up?" She raised her eyebrows questionably, sending mine downward, deepening my frown.

"You _are_ awake, Bella," I insisted. Why did she think she was asleep? Was I so horrific that I could only be in her nightmares? The one thing I feared that would come one day; Bella was finally becoming sane and rejecting me for her own safety.

She shook her head, as if to shake me away. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. _If_ I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake..." Her babbling trailed off; the terror was clear across her face.

It'll be worse when she wakes up? What did she mean by that? Would my face haunt her thoughts so that she wished she _were_ dead?

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." I allowed a short halfhearted smile cross my face. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?" One again, leave it to me to crack a joke in a time of seriousness.

"Obviously not," she objected, "If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

_I didn't know there was anything worse than hell_, I wanted to reply, but I sighed instead. She was still the same Bella, stubborn on the fact that I was good, and not evil.

How could she even consider me being good? That was far from possible, I'd killed too many people to be heaven worthy.

I watched as her groggy expression turned into something more readable. Realization hit her just as hard as the blush that formed over her cheeks.

"Did all of that really happen, then?" Her voice was barely above a whisper; fear was playing with her tone as she stared wide-eyed at me.

"That depends," I replied softly, "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."

Her face shifted into something along the lines of a pleasant smile. "How strange. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"

I just re-informed her how close we'd come to _dying_, and she was rambling about a city in New Mexico? The urge to roll my eyes was too tempting to fight. "Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

She looked at me with an annoyed expression, "I'm not tired anymore. What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?" She began her usual 20 question game with me, and my hard smile became softer, but, only for a moment. The thought of her soon rejection hardened it again.

"It's just after one in the morning," I replied as she stretched. God, she was beautiful. "So, about fourteen hours."

"Charlie?" she asked with a small grunt, still stretching. She must have been stiff from her long slumber.

I frowned at the memories of his murderous thoughts. "Sleeping. You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now." I paused, then mused, "Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window... But, still, the intent was clear."

"Charlie banned you from the house?" Her tone was deep and angry, taking me by surprise.

"Did you expect anything else?" I asked, cocking my head sadly.

She didn't reply, her eyes remained wild with furry. I could almost hear the things she wanted to run off and tell him; the ranting she was surely doing about Charlie not allowing her to make her own decisions. I was surprised all the same, why was she so mad Charlie had beaten her to the punch? Would she much rather tell me to never talk to her again? Thousands of similar questions were rocketing in my mind when she finally spoke again.

"What's the story?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, had she said something I'd missed? "What do you mean?"

"What am I telling Charlie?" she cleared, her tone questioning my intelligence, "What's my excuse for disappearing for... how long was I gone, anyway?"

I felt my eyes tighten involuntarily, "Just three days." I willed my eyes to soften, for her sake, and a smile crossed my lips, a true one. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."

I'd spent the day thinking of something she could tell her father, but, every possible reason, besides the truth, of course, wasn't good enough to drop everything and rush to _Italy_, for God's sake.

"Fabulous," she muttered under her breath with a tiny groan.

"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," I said, masking the urgency in my voice with comfort.

It seemed to work, because she dropped the subject. The soft glow of her alarm clock caused her features to be luminous in the neon green, and, even with that, she was absolutely beautiful. My face was inches away from her, I was inhaling her sweet breath, her scent, with caution, afraid if I did it too openly, she would send me out.

"So..." She gulped, wetting her lips, looking so stunning, it was all I could do not to kiss her. "What have you been doing, up until three days ago?"

I felt a mixture of pain a sadness, the familiar emotion I'd felt for the past seven months. "Nothing terribly exciting." That was a huge understatement, but, I don't think Bella would take '_I've been going through hell_' all too well.

"Of course not," she muttered, her features twisting into something close to unreadable.

"Why are you making that face?" I couldn't hold back the answer, I wanted to know everything about her, no matter how painful.

She pursed her lips, deep in thought. "Well... If you were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up."

I held back my dark chuckle, and sighed instead. What would it take to get through her beautiful skull that she wasn't asleep? "If I tell you, will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"

"Nightmare!" She spat the word in utter disgust. I didn't say anything afterward, in fear of wrinkling her face again. "Maybe," she continued, "If you tell me."

I swallowed the venom that had built up in my mouth; I didn't want to tell her the truth, but, then again, I didn't want to lie, either. "I was... hunting."

"Is that the best you can do?" She asked cynically, almost humorous, "That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake."

I groaned, she just wouldn't believe me that she wasn't asleep! Why didn't she pinch herself or something, like other humans would do? I paused at that thought, if her dreams, nightmares, usually had me in them, she would know pain was possible in dreams. I needed to stop the pain. I needed to tell her the truth.

"I wasn't hunting for food... I was actually trying my hand at... tracking." It was hell to find the correct words. I didn't want to give her the cold, hard, details. "I'm not very good at it?"

She seemed highly interested. "What were you tracking?"

Damnit. Of course Bella would ask that question! The thing I was editing out to begin with! I decided to work my way around it. "Nothing of consequence," I lied, trying to keep my face blank. But it was beyond my control, I knew my face betrayed me.

"I don't understand." She sounded perplexed, and she cocked her head a little to the left. Any emotion she's ever had scrawled on her face, she always managed to make it look beautiful. It's no wonder Rosalie didn't like her.

"I --" Not knowing how to word it, I stopped. I was torn; I didn't know what to tell her! Should I tell her the truth? Or should I lie, just to make sure she felt safe. There was no way I was going to inform her of Victoria and her wrath! But, I had hurt Bella enough, lying to her wouldn't protect her, it would tear her up even more.

I took a deep breath, starting over. "I owe you an apology. No," This was harder than I thought it would be. "Of course, I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria," -- I couldn't help but to curl my lips over my teeth at the bitch's name -- "would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him." My words were rushed, I hoped she understood what I was saying. "I realize why now -- she was sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him -- that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there.

"Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face. When I heard what you told Alice -- what she saw herself -- when I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of _werewolves_, immature, volatile, the worse thing out there besides Victoria herself." I paused, suppressing my hate towards the flea infested _dogs_ once again, "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms." My gush of words slowed, turning to self pity, "I am the most miserable excuse for --"

"Stop."

Bella's words were harsh, and her eyes were harsher. I refused to tear my pain stricken eyes away from hers as I awaited her response to my apology. She was searching my face, looking for something unknown, perhaps even to herself. I waited as patiently as she thought up her rejection, but it was hard. How long did it take to think of something that would break me even more, no matter how it was worded?

"Edward," her voice was slow and sweet, like honey. Her face was calm, almost indifferent. It frightened me; my chest clenched with anticipation. "This has to stop now."

I knew it. Here it comes. The rejection speech. I couldn't hide my pain any longer, I felt my face crumple for a moment, but I managed to compose myself enough so she wouldn't stop, even though I wanted her to. What she had said was like ripping a band-aid off, for simile purposes only, considering I 'died' before the band-aid was invented.

"You can't think about things that way. You can't let this... this _guilt_... rule your life. You can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of this is your fault, it's just part of how life _is_ for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time, you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and _not your fault_. I know it's your... your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such thing, but you really can't let that make you go to..."

I don't know if she continued or not. For the first time in my life, I tuned Bella out. The rage bubbling inside of me at her unsuspected self-destroying words was intense, muffling every sound I heard, from Charlie's dreams, to the crickets outside her window. How could she think this way? How could she?

I wasn't even able to think properly, I was so angry. I didn't want Bella to _ever_ think that way; think that I didn't care about her being _alive_. Didn't she realize I loved her?

"Isabella Marie Swan," I whispered in a growl. Luckily, I was good at hiding my true feelings, so I masked my outrage the best I could. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me _because I felt guilty_?" The last three words came out harsher than I intended, but I didn't mind. Well, I didn't mind completely; I would have to apologize later.

If there was a later.

"Didn't you?" Her face was nothing short of bewilderment; she genuinely believed only I felt remorse over her _death_ itself!

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend." I replied with passion. I've been saying a lot of understatements lately.

"Then... what are you saying? I don't understand." I hate to say this, but my beautiful Bella's intellect was going down with every word of doubt she spoke. How could she be so silly? Then I remembered.

She was going off everything I had said that cursed day back in September.

"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were _dead_. Even if I'd had no hand in your death" -- I shuddered at the very thought, wishing the word away -- "even if it _wasn't_ my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful -- I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie." I shook the retched memory of the phone call out of my head. "But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?"

The odds... What good had the odds done to me? What are the odds that the girl I fell in love with was not only a human, but my la tua cantante? What are the odds to having her sit right next to me in biology? What are the odds of her new best friend being a _werewolf_? The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again.

"But I still dont understand. That's my whole point. So what?"

Her words confused me, what on earth is she talking about? "Excuse me?"

"So what if I was _dead_?"

I gave her a questioning look, had she hit her head somewhere between now and September so hard that she asked questions she should know the answer to? "Don't you remember anything I told you before?"

"I remember _everything_ that you told me," she said, her eyes smoldering. But, it could be anger as well.

I needed to touch her again, I couldn't control myself any longer. I lightly touched her bottom lip, longing to kiss it away. I wanted to kiss all of her doubt away. Kiss all of her pain away. Kiss everything, but us, away. I wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt.

"Bella, you seem to be under misapprehension." I closed my eyes, shaking my head with a smile. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

Hell, I couldn't _think_ of a world where she didn't exist. Even when I was gone, she was with me, whether it was in my imagination, or a memory. Bella walked into my life permanently; she wasn't ever leaving, even in death.

"I am..." she paused, her features seemingly cemented into a perplexed expression. "Confused."

I felt my eyebrows work their way inward, and I displayed all the passion I could muster, which wasn't very hard. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."

She must have gotten the wrong idea, because her confusion shifted into pain and she clutched her chest. Something, a tiny, yet, joyous something, told me she wasn't planning on rejecting me. She was planning on _me_ rejecting _her_.

"Let me finish!" I cried, shaking her shoulder to release her from her defense position. "I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly. That was... excruciating." I couldn't help but wince at the memory of her standing so broken in the woods.

Bella still lay there motionless before me, her face slowly going into something along the lines of indifference.

"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye --" We both flinched at the memory, I pulled her closer, looking deep into her eyes. "You weren't going to let go. I could see that. I didn't want to do it -- it felt like it would kill me to do it -- but i knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought _I'd_ moved on, so would you." My voice was barely a whisper now, I had no strength left to get my confession out in a normal tone.

"A clean break," she whispered, remembering what I had told her.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do!" I prayed she wouldn't take that the wrong way. "I thought it would be next to impossible -- that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry -- sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry."

She picked the perfect time _not_ to be stubborn.

"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

Everything that had built up over the months poured out with such ease; I wasn't shocked. I always pictured myself telling Bella these things, and my imagination always ended the scene with a slap to the face.

Bella had a face of absolute shock, or was it mortification? After a few moments of silence, I continued, knowing she wasn't going to say anything; whether it was because she was unable, or she just had nothing to say.

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed_ that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept -- as if there were any way that _I_ could not exist without needing _you_!" I knew now that I was vulnerable; one little word would kill me completely, and she knew it. I was putty in her hands.

But Bella wasn't that type of person -- was she? Had she changed over my lapse? I looked her over, she was still frozen, from fear, or shock, I couldn't tell. She didn't _seem_ different, but, that was just on the outside.

She looked like she was slipping away, I needed her awake. I shook her shoulder, careful not to hurt her, but enough to bring her back to me.

"Bella," I couldn't suppress the sigh any longer, "Really, what were you thinking!"

At this, she started to cry. I was taken aback, momentarily stunned. I didn't know what to do, I had hurt her again! Perhaps I was too harsh...

"I knew it," A sob escaped her lips and she shook slightly, "I _knew_ I was dreaming."

She still thought she was dreaming? She was absolutely bonkers!

"You're impossible!" I exclaimed, a frustrated laugh following, "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I _have_ always loved you, and I _will_ always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

She just shook her head, she was still crying. If my heart wasn't already broken, it would be breaking right now. My useless stomach fell, making me nauseated.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I stopped caring about putting on a mask, covering up my true emotions. If I was going to pour my heart out to the girl, I might as well do it properly. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never ma-ade since for you to l-love me," she replied, tears still spilling out of her beautiful eyes, "I always knew that."

I felt my eyes narrow, how could she think that? How could she _ever_ think that?

"I'll prove you're awake," I whispered, pressing her face in my hands, bringing her close, ignoring her trying to squirm away. Not when I was so close...

"Please don't," she begged, her eyes glazed over with tears.

I stopped bringing her close; pain washing over me. "Why not?" I didn't mean to sound demanding, but I was just _so_ damn close to doing the one thing I'd been itching to do since she landed in my arms under the clock tower.

"When I wake up," she began, only to be interrupted by my almost protest, "Okay, forget that one -- when you leave me again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."

I immediately pulled back away from her, the thing that I had been fearing had finally come out. I was so close... I convinced myself that she wanted me, too, but I _knew_ it was too good to be true. Bella was smarter than that.

"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so... hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why." I was rushing my speech again. "Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you _have_ moved on, as I meant for you to do?" I was listing every fear I had kept down throughout the months. I was surprised at how easily they came up, even though I really shouldn't. "That would be... quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please -- just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?"

Every word came out in a whisper, I was half hoping she wouldn't hear me so she wouldn't respond. Fuck the band-aid technique; I don't know what a fucking band-aid feels like when it's ripped off, surely it can't even compare to the pain that was erupting within me. A thousand band-aids being ripped off couldn't feel this horrible.

"What kind of idiotic question is that?" Her tone made me wince, she thought I was an idiot for thinking I even had a chance for her love again, and, well, I didn't blame her. I _was_ an idiot!

"Just answer it." I whispered, fighting the urge to break her intense gaze. "Please."

Her eyes burned mine, they were wild with some sort of unreadable emotion. She leaned it, closing the space that I had created.

"The way I feel about you will never change." Her voice was harsh and passionate. What is hate? Love? "Of course I love you -- and there's nothing you can do about it!"

I can't even describe the emotion I felt at those words, so, I'm not even going to try. I was incoherent, the passion bubbled up inside of me, blocking my ears from any other sound except her heart, her breath, her voice, _everything_. "That's all I needed to hear."

With that, I pressed my lips against hers, for the first time in seven months. My senses went wild, screaming passion out of every pore. Her frail body collapsed into mine, still at first. I didn't want her to be still, damnit, I wanted her to kiss me back!

As if she was the mind reader, she kissed me back, matching my passion. I wasn't going to draw any lines, I had myself under enough control, for now, at least, that I could show her just how much I loved her.

Her heart beat at an uneven pattern, and I smiled against her lips. I missed feeling the bliss of knowing that I caused her to go on a frenzy; I caused her heart to sputter like that. Her breaths became pants as she searched my face with her fingers hungrily. I pressed my body even closer to her, feeling her warmth around my cold, hard, body. I traced her face over and over as well; her warmth causing my fingertips to tingle with pleasure.

"Bella," I breathed between our split second breaks. "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella." I couldn't get enough of saying her name, I _needed_ to say her name. It was amazing, it was a God given name, perfect for an angel as herself; perfect for _my_ angel. I could rightfully call her _my_ angel, because that's what she was. She was _mine_.

I felt her vital signs slow, so, although I didn't want to, I pulled away. Her pants turned into gasps as she tried to even it out. I laid my head against her chest, allowing her pounding heart to envelope me.

Then, I remembered her fear. She didn't want to kiss me because she thought I would leave her _again_.

"By the way," I kept my tone casual, "I'm not leaving you."

Never again, Isabella Swan, never again. I left you once and experienced hell, I'd be damned if I ever did that to myself again.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm speechles... I asked for 5, and you guys gave me three times that! :o  
That makes me really happy(:  
I'd ask for you to beat 15, but I'm afraid that woud be asking too much oo  
But, hey, it's worth a shot, eh?

And, just in case anyone is wondering; the part where Edward is supposed to be talking about 'The odds', he wasn't really realizing he was saying it outloud. Therefor, he was thinking it instead of speaking :D

I love you guys, seriously! Keep sending my awesome feedback! :D -insert less than three here-


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns everything.

_Longest chapter yet... :)_

* * *

She looked down at me skeptically; after all my words, she still didn't believe me!

"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you." I nearly growled, my tone was set at dead seriousness. She was mad to think I was going to put myself through that kind of pain again!

"I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life," I continued, suppressing my frown at the familiar words. "I could see what I was doing to you -- keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you." I was aware of the passion of truth that was radiating through my voice, I only hoped she was, too.

"So I had to try. I had to do _something_, and it seemed like leaving you was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only _you_ could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed." I was speaking slowly, so she could interject if she wanted. But she just stared at me with wide, unreadable eyes. "What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again." I stopped with holding the frown that was trying to surface. I wasn't even strong enough to leave her the _first_ time.

"I have too many excuses to stay -- thank heaven for that! It seems you _can't_ be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us." I slowed my words to a halt, looking, searching, her beautiful brown eyes.

She looked hesitant, perhaps even mortified. Did she not want me to go into depth about what happened? Was I a fool to think that maybe, just maybe, she had forgiven me after all? Was the kiss not enough? Damnit! Why wasn't she believing me?

"Don't promise me anything," She finally whispered. Her eyes were full of sadness and fear.

Anger flickered through me. "You think I'm lying to you now?" I demanded, closing my hands in fists, digging my nails into my palms.

She shook her head almost violently. "No -- not lying." Her eyes flittered around the room, as if she was thinking of an explanation for her actions. "You could mean it... now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"

I winced at the doubt, and the memories, behind her words. How could she think that? That's it, I decided, she really did hit her head hard when she jumped off that cliff. There was no other explanation for her doubtfulness! I had expressed every burning emotion I was feeling in all sincerity to her, and, there she lay, saying I'll change my mind tomorrow!

"It isn't as if you hadn't thought the first decision though, is it?" She continued slowly, biting her bottom lip. "You'll end up doing what you think is right."

I sighed heavily, making a mental note to myself to tell Carlisle to give her a Cat-Scan, looking to see where the brain damage was. My guess was that it was in the Frontal Lobe...

I stopped my analyzing and replied. "I'm not as strong as you give me credit for. Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway." I added slyly, sheepishly ducking my head. "Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour." I frowned heavily at the memory of my seven month absence, I hadn't planned on going into detail with Bella. But, then again, I expected her to either immediatly reject me, or accept me with open arms, no questions asked.

But, as she proved time and time again, Bella surprised me.

"It was only a matter of time -- and not much of it -- before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back." I paused, then added, "I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that." I couldn't help but smirk.

I'd be happy to degrade my pride any day for Bella. I'd be happy to do _anything_ for her, at the moment.

She flinched, obviously not appreciating the image of me on my knees as much as I was. "Be serious, please."

My joking nature faded back to seriousness. "Oh, I am. Will you please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?"

I searched her face for any sort of willingness. She leaned in slightly, her eyes smoldering as she listened.

I took a deep unneeded breath and began pouring out everything I'd ever felt for her. "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars -- points of light and reason. ...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was a brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

Her face looked torn, as if she was fighting some inner battle caused by my simile. Her eyes were a mixture of love and doubt, the very combination that sent us hurtling into the situation to begin with.

"Your eyes will adjust," she mumbled finally.

I was taken aback; yes, it was definitely her Frontal Lobe with the damage. "That's just the problem--" I replied swiftly, "-- they can't."

"What about you distractions?" she asked, referring to when I told her 'my kind' had distractions.

I couldn't help but laugh bitterly. "Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the... the _agony_. My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone -- like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."

And I had. When I kissed her forehead that one, last, horrible, moment, I put so much emotion into it, it was the last I felt in my Bella-less months. Well, the last besides pain.

"That's funny." she mumbled, surprising me. I really shouldn't be surprised with Bella anymore; I should know better than that.

"Funny?" I asked, raising an eyebrow to show my interest.

"I meant strange," she corrected quickly, "I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." As if to prove the point, she took a deep breath of her needed oxygen. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."

I closed my eyes and slowly lowered my ear onto her chest, listening to her heart pound unevenly and ragged. The pressure of her sweet face was on top of my head, slightly rubbing through my hair, daring me not to move. I couldn't even if I wanted to, I wished to lay like this for the rest of my, or, better yet, her life.

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" she asked, breaking our comfortable silence with her curiosity.

"No. That was never a distraction. It was an obligation," I confessed with a sigh.

"What does that mean?" I felt her pretty head cock in confusion.

"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with..." I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. "Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil -- and really she came here." I let a groan escape my lips; how could I have been so foolish? "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears --"

I was suddenly cut off by her more than a whisper cry. "You were hunting _Victoria_?"

_Huh? Whats that? Victoria? Ah... the queen..._ Charlie's startled thoughts flew into a frenzy, only to drift away once again.

"Not well," I replied. Why was she so angry? Hadn't I mentioned that tidbit before? "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer." I let my anger take the best of my words, knowing Bella wouldn't be frightened by them. She'd heard me vent viciously before.

"That is... out of the question." she stuttered, her eyes wide with fear. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, as if saying '_You're mine now._' Which I was. I was all hers.

"It's too late for her," I snarled despite my pleasant thoughts. "I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after --"

"Didn't you just promise that you weren't going to leave?" she interrupted, something along the lines of terror danced with her words. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"

I frowned with a low snarl, I wasn't going to leave her, but I certainly wasn't going to sit back as Victoria marched around close to her! "I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria --" I couldn't help but snarl louder at her very name; I loathed her with a burning passion, "-- is going to die. Soon."

"Let's not be hasty," she replied quickly, perhaps too much so. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for he. Besides, I've got a bigger problems than Victoria."

My eyes narrowed involuntarily. "It's true. The werewolves are a problem."

I still couldn't believe she was hanging around a bunch of flea bitten _dogs_. What in the world compelled her to do that?

A snort escaped her. "I wasn't talking about _Jacob_. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble."

I was about to agree greatly with her, and add that I could take care of them easily, but thought better of it. If they were her friends, she wouldn't exactly appreciate the mentioning of tearing them to shreds.

"Really?" I asked instead. "Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such a inconsequential matter in comparison?"

"How about the second greatest?" she wagered, slightly hesitant.

Despite my wants to push for her first, I agreed suspiciously.

She paused, looking fearful. I cocked my head in anticipation. "There are others who are coming to look for me." She finally said, chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

I sighed, shaking my head. With every word she spoke I was one step closer to summoning Carlisle for surgery on her brain. "The Volturi are only the _second_ greatest?"

"You don't seem that upset about it." She pointed out, question lacing her tone.

"Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me." I replied swiftly, shrugging it off. "They count years the way you count days. I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again."

Her eyes washed over in terror, confusing me. What I just said was supposed to be comforting, not terrifying! Was thirty too soon for her? Did she want to wait longer? It pained me to see her so scared.

"You don't have to be afraid. I won't let them hurt you," I promised anxiously, pleading her with my eyes to not be frightened.

"While you're here." she added bitterly, peering at me through tear graced eyes.

What would it take to convince her that I would never do such a thing? I grabbed her face between my hands, enjoying her warmth greatly. "I will never leave you again." I spoke with so much force, she _had_ to believe me.

"But you said _thirty_," she whispered in despair. The tears were now threatening to fall from her eyes. "What? You're going to stay, but let me get old anyway? Right."

I couldn't help but soften at her childish vulnerability. She wasn't frightened, just sulking. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. What choice do have I? I cannot be without you, but I will not destroy your soul."

We'd had this conversation thousands of times before, and, each time, she became more and more stubborn over the fact. She was so set on becoming one of us, a Cullen, a vampire, that it terrified _me_.

"Is this really..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to compose herself, but was failing miserably. She had a distant look to her face, as if she was remembering something. But I wouldn't know, because I couldn't read her mind.

"Yes?" I pressed, wanting to hear what she was trying to ask, composed or not.

She shook her head, as if to shake herself out of her memory, and shaking her question from before away, starting with something new. "But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your _grandmother_?"

She looked wary at the very thought, a sickening expression fell upon her angelic features.

I'll admit, I'd thought about the very same thing before. But, what did I care what other insignificant humans thought of us and our relationship? I loved Bella, and Bella loved me; age wouldn't change that, no matter the intensity of it.

I wiped away a stray tear that had flawed her face. "That doesn't mean anything to me. You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world." Another fear slipped into my mind and I flinched. "Of course... If you outgrew _me_ -- if you wanted something more -- I would understand that, Bella. I promise I wouldn't stand in your way if you wanted to leave me."

As much as it pained me, I knew I couldn't have Bella all to myself if it wasn't what I wanted. She was the only exception to my selfish nature; her wants were always placed before mine, no matter how much it hurt me in the future.

"You do realize I'll die eventually, right?" she demanded in a whisper, her eyes scorched with fear.

I'd thought about that, too, obviously. It was a no brainer, really. "I'll follow after as soon as I can."

'As soon as I can', meaning, as soon as I can get to Italy, or piss off another vampire.

Her face twisted in disgust. "That is seriously... Sick."

"Bella, it's the only right way left --"

"Let's just back up for a minute," She interrupted by objection harshly. "You do remember the Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me till I'm _thirty_ --" She spat out the word -- "do you really think they'll forget?"

"No," I said carefully, shaking my head. "They won't forget. But..." I trailed off, unable to tell Bella what I had in store for out friends at the Volturi.

"But?" she pressed, turning her ear towards me slightly.

I allowed a sly grin cross my face. "I have a few plans."

"And these plans," she replied, bitterness dripping from her tone. "These plans all center around me staying _human_."

It wasn't a question, but a statement of knowledge. Maybe she hadn't hit her head as hard as I thought; she seemed to be thinking clearly enough now.

But her attitude of disgust made my realization short-lived. "Naturally." I couldn't help but feel smug; as much as Bella wanted to live forever, I wouldn't allow it. Unless she ran off and found another vampire that she trusted enough to do it, which wasn't likely, she was staying human.

We glared at each other for a hard moment; her intense gaze never wavering me in the slightest. I had made up my mind a long time ago, and I wasn't planning on changing it any time soon.

Finally, she took a deep breath, of what I assumed was defeat. But she pushed at my arms trying to get me to move them off of her, which I did. She sat up and tore her gaze away from me, causing guilt to spread like wildfire throughout me.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked slowly, not bothering to mask my hurt.

Her face fell as her eyes looked back into my hurt ones. "No. _I'm_ leaving."

My hurt turned into humorous suspicion; what could she be up to? I watched as she staggered around the dark room, failing in attempt to stay silent. She was seemingly searching for something, which only ignited my humor, as well as suspicion, even more.

"May I ask where you are going?" I asked with a smirk.

"I'm going to your house," she replied simply, peering under her bed and patting the floor. I figured she was looking for her shoes, so I grabbed them from the opposite side of her bed.

"Here are your shoes." I brought them over to her, placing them in front of her hands. "How did you plan to get there?"

"My truck." She was fumbling with her laces now; I couldn't help but smile, she was just so cute.

"That will probably wake Charlie," I reminded, still smiling. I wondered if she could hear it; she always hated when I found her seriousness amusing.

She sighed, tightening the laces on the other shoe. "I know. But honestly, I'll be grounded for weeks as it is. How much trouble can I really get in?"

"None. He'll blame me, not you." It was true, Charlie's thoughts had been about how 'That boy' influenced Bella to do bad things, and he blamed the entire Italy situation on me. Although, I wasn't objecting, considering I deserve it.

"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears." She was standing now, hands on her hips in that cute, stubborn way of hers.

"Stay here," I suggested lightly, knowing she wouldn't listen. But it was worth a shot.

"No dice." Her reply wasn't a surprise. "But you go ahead and make yourself at home." Now, that was a shock. Since when did Bella go to _my_ house without me?

Suspicion took me over as I stood in front of her door, blocking her only exit. She was going to tell me what she needed to go to my house at 2 in the morning for if it killed her.

She frowned in disapproval at me before turning towards the window, proving that it probably _would_ kill her. She peered below, seemingly calculating the distance she would have to fall. A twisted Bella flashed through my mind, and I shuttered; no way was I allowing that.

"Okay. I'll give you a ride." It was a big statement coming from me; I usually never fell into her ploys. But she just seemed so... serious about this whole window-jumping idea; I wasn't going to risk it.

She shrugged indifferently. "Either way. But you probably _should_ be there, too." Uh-oh.

"And why is that?" I asked hesitantly, wanting nothing more than to grab her and hold her in her bed, refusing to ever allow her to get up.

"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want to air your views," she replied simply, giving another little shrug.

"My views on which subject?" I couldn't help but say it harshly; I hated when she beat around the bush.

"This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the center of the universe, you know. If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say."

Her words angered me beyond comprehension. Her humanity was _stupid_? My earlier theories about her banging her head were coming back to me; maybe we _did_ have to go see Carlisle immediately, before the damage spread elsewhere.

"A say in what?"

"My mortality." My eyes widened in mortification. "I'm putting it to a vote."

She was what! Putting her fucking mortality to a _vote_ like it was about what color shirt she should wear? The simplicity of how she stated it left me speechless, so I had no other choice other than to oblige to her wishes.

I collected her in my arms and jumped from the window, careful not to harm her. A gust of her sweet breath blew out of her in shock; she had obviously forgotten how exhilarating it was for me to be able to do things like that.

"All right then. Up you go." The disapproval was evident in my tone as I helped her onto my back. I took off running, holding on her tightly so she wouldn't fall. I closed my eyes in bliss as the wind whipped around our bodies as she pressed the side of her face against the back of my neck.

Her warmth was so amazing, it was what I lived for. If she, somehow, became one of us, her warmth would be gone. All the tiny little things I absolutely loved about her would be gone; her blush especially. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't picture a vampire Bella. To me, Bella _was_ life; she was the missing blood that pumped through my veins. She was my soul that slipped away shortly after Carlisle turned me that night in 1918. Without these features, I feared that Bella just wouldn't be Bella any longer.

I had changed when I became a vampire so greatly; I wanted Bella to stay the same forever.

Suddenly, she turned her head, so that her lips were pressed firmly against my neck, sending waves of pleasure over me.

I smiled against the on coming wind, she had finally kissed me voluntarily; without my help. "Thank you. Does that mean you've decided you're awake?"

Her beautiful laughter filled the air around us, stunning me every so slightly. I had missed that so much...

"Not really. More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up. Not tonight." For some reason, something told me she was just being stubborn.

"I'll earn your trust back somehow." I meant for this to stay inside my head, but I needed Bella to hear it as well. "If it's my final act."

I was referring to Romeo and Juliet now, as silly as it was. I thought back to her birthday, before the Jasper incident, where we watched the silly play, and how amazing she thought it was. Throughout the seven months of my lack of appearance in Bella's life, I had thought about that evening so much; leaving out the birthday party itself, for obvious reasons. It was the last time I had her to hold without worrying about her so much.

"I trust _you_. It's me I don't trust." she assured as I slowed down my run.

"Explain that, please," I pressed, slowing to a walk.

"Well," She began slowly. "I don't trust myself to be... enough. To deserve you. There's nothing about me that could _hold_ you."

If I wasn't afraid of loosing her again, I would condemn her to an asylum for thinking such a blasphemy. I stopped moving completely and pulled her from my back, wrapping my arms around her, refusing to let her go.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt this," I whispered. I wish she would stop being so doubtful!

Remembering something she'd mentioned earlier, I muttered, "You never did tell me..." I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to muse to myself, or ask her straight out.

"What?" she asked, looking at me curiously.

"What your greatest problem is." Part of me feared the answer, but the majority of me needed to know, to protect her from whatever it was.

"I'll give you one guess." She sighed quietly, placing her warm finger on the edge of my nose.

Despair washed through me as I nodded understandingly. "I'm worse than the Volturi. I guess I've earned that."

Of course I was her greatest fear; who else had left her an empty shell, not to mention in even more danger, just to keep her safe? I mentally kicked myself knowing I would never live down the biggest mistake in my life; leaving Bella. She was everything to me, and I had just deserted her, leaving the impression she was nothing.

I watched as she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "The worst the Volturi can do is kill me."

Her statement confused me; isn't that why I was her greatest fear? Her blood _sang_ for me, why didn't she fear that I would snap one day and fall into my greatest temptation?

"You can leave me. The Volturi, Victoria... they're nothing compared to that."

My heart mended itself and then broke entirely over again at her words. I had done something _worse_ than killing her. She'd basically said that she would rather _die_ then go through the situation I'd put her in. The anguish was almost unbearable; the only thing that allowed me to hold onto my sanity was Bella herself.

"Don't. Don't be sad," she begged, touching my face lightly in fear.

I half smiled in a pathetic attempt to be reassuring, but I was too apathetic to be convincing. "If there was only some way to make you see that I _can't_ leave you." My voice refused to come out in anything above a whisper; Bella was so fragile in my arms, I didn't want to do _anything_ to disrupt her. "Time, I suppose, will be the only way to convince you."

Her mouth turned up in a tiny, content, smile. "Okay."

The smile warmed me, but only in the slightest. Her greatest fear was me leaving her, and mine was her becoming a vampire. I suppose we were each even.

The memory of Alice's vision came to mind, where Bella was wild eyed and distant, and, well, _not_ Bella. I shuttered, I didn't want that for her at all. I wanted more than anything to change that vision; I would do anything in my power to make sure it didn't happen. Isabella Marie Swan was meant to be human, and I wasn't going to change that.

"So -- since you're staying," she started slowly, a look of amusement was over her features. "Can I have my stuff back?" Her tone was too light, I knew it was forced.

I laughed at the irony of the question, but I still felt the pang of misery. "Your things were never gone. I knew it was wrong, since I promised you peace without reminders. It was stupid and childish, but I wanted to leave something of myself with you. The CD, the pictures, the tickets -- they're all under your floorboards."

Her face lit up in pure bliss and surprise. "_Really_?"

I nodded, actually slightly happy. Her blissful face washed away some of the pain I was feeling. I was trying hard to cover the anguish, but it was too hard. Her words had damaged me more than anything else in the world.

"I think," her words were slow as she thought them out carefully. "I'm not sure, but I wonder... I think maybe I knew it the whole time."

"What did you know?" Once again, her train of thought left me confused.

Her eyes flickered with pain for a moment as she searched my own. I quickly tried at masking the raging emotion inside of me, but I failed. I was much too weak and vulnerable whenever I was this close to Bella.

"Some part of me, my subconscious maybe, never stopped believing that you still cared whether I lived or died. That's probably why I was hearing the voices."

I masked the horror with ease, it was nothing compared to the agony I was feeling as well. She was hearing voiced? So I _had_ drove her to insanity! Right when I had her again, I would have to let go again! Surely Charlie would catch on soon and send her away! With this thought, I pressed her closer to me, taking in her scent.

"Voices?" I pressed, wanting her to elaborate, hoping somehow she had a sane explanation.

"Well, just one voice. Yours. It's a long story." She looked sheepish, but not at all ashamed. I wanted her to finish the story, I didn't care if it took days.

"I've got time."

"It's pretty pathetic."

I waited patiently, I wasn't dying any time soon, and, as long as she was in my arms, neither was Bella.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then, finally spoke. "Do you remember what Alice said about extreme sports?"

"You jumped off a cliff for fun." I stated indifferently, not knowing where she was going with it. Was she going to admit insanity?

"Er, right. And before that, with the motorcycle --"

"Motorcycle?" I was trying to keep my voice calm, but picturing Bella on an unguarded, poor excuse for a, vehicle sent panic throughout my body.

"I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part," she replied sheepishly, a tiny, sly grin on her face.

"No." My voice was tight, I didn't know about my face.

"Well, about that... See, I found that... when I was doing something dangerous or stupid... I could remember you more clearly," she confessed slowly, looking disgusted with herself. "I could remember how your voice sounded when you were angry. I could hear it, like you were standing right there next to me. Mostly I tried not to think about you, but this didn't hurt so much -- it was like you were protecting me again. Like you didn't want me to be hurt."

I just stared flatly at her, emotion not really setting in yet. Well, perhaps it had, but I was too stunned to notice. So she _had_ jumped off the cliff because of me!

"And, well," she continued. "I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because, underneath it all, I always knew that you hadn't stopped loving me."

She didn't look so sheepish anymore, she looked almost proud! Like she accomplished some big feat! Yeah, _living_.

"You... were... risking your life... to hear --" My strangled words were cut off by her shushing me, glee was scrawled across her features.

"Hold on a second. I think I'm having an epiphany here."

I held back the intense need to snort; what kind of epiphany could she possibly be having? Realizing she was completely and utterly _insane_ for doing so many stupid things just to hear nothing but a hallucination? Yeah, that was the only reasonable one that came to mind at the moment.

I searched her face with concern, she looked deep in thought, her eyes glazed over with unheard thoughts. I fought the urge to groan, _why_ was it that the most complex girl in the world was the one I couldn't read?

Oh yeah... Fate hated me. I had almost forgotten.

"Oh!" she cried, ripping me from my own thoughts.

"Bella?" My words came out slightly panicked, was she alright?

"Oh. Okay. I see."

"Your epiphany?" I asked slowly, unsure of what I was getting myself into.

"You love me." Her face was full of pure bliss, and a huge smile covered most of her face, melting my heart.

I couldn't help but half smile, she was unbelievable. After all the words I said, they were useless. It took her explaining her insanity to finally get that I loved her more than anything in the entire world. "Truly, I do."

* * *

**A/N: **Alright you crazy reviewers, this extra long chapter was for you :D  
I was thinking about stopping it at 3,000+ words, but, I thought, what the hey! Lemme throw in an extra 2,000 ;D  
See what happens when you review? XD

Blah, today was horrible. The idiots at work literally made me sick :P  
But I guess that's what I get for working at a horse track, yeah?

Anyway, I hope you liked the update! Review and tell me if you liked it or not!  
-_Edward's Smile_

P.S.- I need to focus on this story more, so Crystal Clear is on a mildish haitus until this is finished!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns everything

_Thanks to Shining Eclipse for encouraging me to keep writing this chapter!  
If it wasn't for her, this story would have been unfinished at chapter 8._

* * *

I took her face in my hands gently, pressing her warm lips against mine. My chest sputtered to life, like it normally does when our lips touch, and our hearts raced each other in the brief moment. I reluctantly pulled away when she stumbled, her blood was pumping hard through her veins; it was maddening.

I pressed my forehead against hers, basking in her warmth, breathing in everything, mainly her. She was so gorgeous; now that I was with her again, I didn't understand how I had enough strength to leave her all those months ago. I don't know how I survived at all without her body heat warming my frigid skin.

"You were better at it than I was, you know." I knew my words were random, and she would ask me to elaborate, if she was interested, that is.

"Better at what?" she whispered, slightly hoarse; her breathing was still slightly uneven.

"Surviving," I replied briskly. "You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your life." I referred to Charlie's memories where a zombie-like Bella marched through; but, she was still moving. "When I wasn't actively tracking, I was... totally useless. I couldn't be around my family -- I couldn't be around anyone. I'm embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me." I paused, giving her a sheepish smile. "It was much more pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too."

I was telling Bella this because I felt like I needed to convince her even more that I still loved her, and I never stopped. I didn't think Bella was insane for hearing my voice in her head, I just thought she was insane for risking her _life_ to hear it. I didn't think I was, and ever will be, worth that price. Nothing was worth the price of Bella's life.

"I only heard one voice," she corrected, a tiny smirk playing with her lips.

I let out a laugh, pulling her to the side and tightening my grip on her. "I'm just humoring you with this." I motioned towards my house, letting her know we'd been standing out front the entire time. "It doesn't matter in the slightest what they say."

"This affects them now, too." She was so stubborn, but I loved it; I loved her.

I hid my slight annoyance, as well as the need to attack her with kisses, and shrugged, trying hard to be nonchalant.

I led her up to the door, which was already open, which I suspected was Alice's doing, and flipped the light switch, flooding the dark house. Bella melted into my side with relief as her eyes searched the room hungrily, and I smiled; I hadn't noticed she was stiff with nervousness. The familiarity of the never-changing room relaxed her.

I called out for my family, finding no need to raise my voice, knowing they'd hear me. A rush of excited thoughts, all except Rosalie's, which was expected, hurled my way. Although worded differently and at different volumes, they all screamed the same thing. _Edward's home._

"Welcome back, Bella." Carlisle greeted with a smile, his thoughts welcoming me as well. "What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

Bella nodded as I remained looking indifferent; getting slightly annoyed that Carlisle was blocking out his thoughts from me. I knew he didn't have anything to hide, he just 'preferred' his 'privacy' as he told me once.

"I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay. About something important."

I fought the sigh that was growing in me; I knew I was no match when Bella had her mind made up; she was as stubborn as a mule when it was cemented to the ground.

_What's going on, Edward?_ Carlisle's careful thoughts asked, his eyes searching my face that I was trying my hardest to keep composed. I gave my head a small shake, silently telling him to forget it.

Bella couldn't honestly think she can put up whether or not she stays _human_ up for a vote! That was completely out of the question! Why was she so willing to put other people in charge of her mortality, but the one person, being me, that loved her more than anything, had no say?

"Of course. Why don't we talk in the other room?" Carlisle suggested. His voice sounded so far away for some reason. Every thing seemed far away, yet close up at the same time; as if I was swimming in a pool.

At first, I didn't understand why I was experiencing such an odd sensation, but, then I realized I was fuming so horribly that I could hardly function. I was so angry I couldn't think, hear, even see properly.

Was I over reacting over Bella becoming a vampire? Oh, hell no.

The whole reason I left her in the first place is so she, and I quote myself, could live a normal, happy, _human_ life. Her becoming a vampire eliminated all three of my priorities.

Sure, I didn't exactly want her to be normal, for my own selfish needs of wanting, no, _needing_, her close. But that doesn't mean I want her to throw away the life all eight of us Cullens would love to have back! Even if they don't admit it, I know they do, thanks to my mind reading power.

The rest of my family, having heard Bella needed to talk to them all about something important, followed me into the scarcely used dining room.

_Look at the dear, she looks so determined! I'm almost afraid to ask what she wants_, Esme thought, turning her head with curiosity.

_Just smile at her, you owe her! I almost killed her! Well, not in the way Jasper did, I have better control than that_, Rosalie thought, almost nicely. _But if the Volturi would have killed her, Lord knows how I would feel at this moment._

With that, she smiled falteringly and sat down next to Emmett, who was only mildly curious on what Bella had to say. He was focusing on a tactic that he could use to beat Jasper's high score on the new video game he'd bought.

Jasper's thoughts were rapid and random, as if he was nervous. But, curious to hear what Bella thought was so important to call a family meeting, all the same. Alice, who was sitting next to him, had a look of concern on her face, her thoughts matching them.

I sat beside Bella, holding onto her hand. I was still refusing to let go of her, even if anger and despair was swirling inside of me like a hurricane.

I stared down my siblings; they better have say _no_ to Bella's request, or there would be hell to pay. No, there would be something _worse_ to pay, something that would make hell seem like a beach vacation. Bella was supposed to stay human, damnit! And nothing, not even my siblings, and Bella's stupid democratic nature, was going to change that.

"Well," Bella began, hesitating slightly. "I'm hoping Alice has already told you everything that happened in Volterra?" The city's name brought back the bitter sweet memories and I held back a cringe.

"Everything," Alice assured, her concern was dancing with her tone.

They shared a look that they would understand, so much that Alice thought nothing of it. "And on the way?" Bella asked, her voice still wavering.

Alice nodded, "That, too."

"Good." A sweet sigh dumped themselves out of her lungs, wrapping me in her delicious scent. "Then we're all on the same page."

_What page is she talking about?_ Jasper thought, confused. _The only thing Alice told us was how Bella wouldn't sleep..._

_Are Alice's visions acting up again?_ Carlisle wondered, concerned. _We'll have to figure out why. There has to be a possible explanation._

Not knowing the others weren't on the same page at all, Bella continued. "So, I have a problem. Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you."

Suddenly, the thoughts of my family turned into an uproar, except Alice's, of course. They were screaming many 'How could she's and 'I don't understand's.

"They're going to send someone to check," Bella continued, still oblivious to the surprised thoughts around us, "and I'm sure that's a bad thing -- something to avoid.

And so, now, this involves you all. I'm sorry about that." I hated the way she corporated them into this, making it actually seem like they belonged in this decision. I cringed; who was I kidding? It _did_ involve them. "But, if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not."

What? What does Alice have to do with this? I was utterly confused.

Esme opened her mouth to say that they would accept her no matter what, but Bella held up her hand. "Please, let me finish. You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don't want me, then... I guess I'll back to Italy alone. I can't have _them_ coming _here_."

I gave her a warning growl, how could she ever even consider doing such a horrible thing? I wouldn't allow it; I'd rather her be _my_ vampire than theirs! Those fiends weren't going to take Bella, and I wasn't going to let Bella throw herself into their clutches.

"Taking into account, then, that I won't put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire." Her voice was strong and confident, though, her face betrayed her. I wasn't sure if any of my other family members noticed, but her eyebrows were knitted in the cute way she did whenever she was hesitant.

Bella motioned at Carlisle for him to start, and the answer he was preparing to give made me panic. If Carlisle said that, then so would everyone else.

"Just a minute!" I interjected, hopefully not seeming as desperate as I felt. Bella shot me a glare, and I raised my eyebrows, daring her to object to my own objection. She stayed quiet, so I gave her hand a comforting squeeze. "I have something to add before we vote."

I was surprised with how controlled my voice was, compared to how I was feeling. So, feeling confident in my steady tone, I continued, "About the danger Bella's referring to. I don't think we need to be overly anxious."

I leaned into the table, placing my hand on the top, preparing for the speech I was about to give; praying it would convince them _not_ to say that foolish answer they were thinking in their minds.

"You see," I looked at every single one of my family members which such passion they couldn't deny, "there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to clue them in." I couldn't help but grin at my master mind.

"Which was?" Alice prodded out loud, while the others did it silently. Bella's expression was skeptical, as if she didn't believe me. I hated how familiar it was.

"The Volturi are over confident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem." I paused momentarily, and looked down at Bella. "Do you remember Demetri?"

A shiver went through her body, and, although it pained me, I took it as a yes.

"He finds people -- that's his talent, why they keep him." I thought back to when I was under the clock tower and wondered they had found me so easily. "Now, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible." I didn't mention that I didn't get very much. I had been too occupied with Bella.

"So I saw how Demetri's talent works. He's a tracker -- a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the... flavor? I don't know how to describe it... the tenor... of someone's mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.

But after Aro's little experiments, well..." I shrugged, smothering the triumphant smile that wanted to bubble up inside me.

"You think he won't be able to find me," Bella finished flatly, perhaps a little acidic. My triumphant emotion fell into something along the lines of dark at the bitterness; she _really_ wanted this...

"Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless. It will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!"

_Outsmarting the Volturi! Awesome, Ed!_ Emmett thought, smirking my way. I gladly returned it, feeling strangely triumphant. I had the need to gloat.

"But they can find you," Bella objected, trying to deflate my ego boost. But she failed. Miserably.

"And I can take care of myself." I tried to cover up the arrogant feeling that was spreading, but Emmett's and Jasper's silent praising was making it hard.

Emmett's booming laughter sounded throughout the house as he stretched his arm across the table, his hand formed a fist. "Excellent plan, my brother!"

I happily connected my own fist against his, enjoying the loud crack it made when they connected. But the happiness was short lived, as usual.

"No," Rosalie whispered menacingly.

"Absolutely not," Bella agreed strongly.

"Nice," Jasper said with a few nods of astonishment; his thoughts were nothing but of awe.

"Idiots," Alice hissed with an elbow jab at her husband.

_Why do you keep fighting the unstoppable?_ Esme thought harshly, her eyes set in on mine in an icy glare.

I held it, trying not to be intimidated, or have my ego shot down, but it was too hard. Esme had never spoken, much less thought, with so much acid at me before. A monkey would know when to stop gloating at her stare.

"All right, then," Bella said, sounding very official. Despite my intentions, I found myself melting back into her hand. "Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider. Let's vote."

She turned to me first. "Do you want me to join you family?"

I hoped my ephemeral silence wasn't as noticeable to her as it was to me. Why was she even asking me? She must already know the answer to that question! "Not that way. You're staying human."

She nodded once, seemingly not phased at all; but I knew it was just a façade. She turned to Alice next.

Alice's positive answer was predictable, so I didn't dwell on it for long. But Jasper's answer surprised me.

"Yes." _I'm sorry, Edward..._ And he did sound sorry, but that didn't stop me from baring my teeth slightly. Wasn't he, just moments before, on _my_ side?

"Rosalie?" I heard Bella ask, turning my threatening stare from Jasper to Rosalie. I knew what her answer would be, so I wasn't worried.

"No." Her voice wasn't full of hate and despise. It was full of pure concern, shocking me. Had my absence from this family caused them all to change so?

My eyes darted to Bella to see her reaction, but, as it was to mine, her face was fighting to stay blank. Any human wouldn't have noticed it, but we vampires were enhanced in those areas.

"Let me explain," Rosalie pleaded, seeing the skeptism in Bella's face. "I don't mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister. It's just that... this is not the life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me."

Bella, still fighting to stay hard, nodded slowly. I expected her to give a bigger response to Rosalie's confession, but she was far too into this business face.

I watched in horror as she turned to Emmett, who had oddly been counting the specks on the granite vase, which meant he didn't want me to hear what he was thinking. Emmett never did this, so I knew what his answer would be.

"Hell, yes! We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri." His thoughts showed no remorse for his betrayal, he didn't even look at me to receive his death glare.

"Yes, of course, Bella. I already think of you as part of my family," came Esme's answer, which, much like Alice's, didn't surprise me at all. Or maybe I was still feeling the sting of Jasper's and Emmett's betrayal to be surprised.

Bella thanked Esme, then turned to Carlisle.

"Edward," he began slowly; my eyes widened. _I'm not doing this for the sake of her, or even you. Please understand that this is for the protection of this _family_, something it won't be if you're not in it any longer._

"No," was all I was able to choke out. My brother's approval to this was nothing compared to Carlisle's. He wouldn't, he _couldn't_, do this to me!

"It's the only way that makes sense. You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice."

I felt my eyes darken in anger, causing thirst to burn in the back of my throat. I needed to get away from Bella fast, before her sweet scent turns fatal.

I dropped her hand as gently as I could and pushed out of the table. I stomped out of the room, taking my aggression out on the floorboards, to spite Esme as well, keeping my growls to low snarls.

"I guess you know my vote." I heard Carlisle tell Bella, almost tauntingly.

Suddenly, every ounce of love for my family turned into hatred. They weren't my family anymore. They were nothing but a coven I was forced to reside in; they could betray me as they pleased. My vision was clouding over with the blackness of my eyes. I wanted to _kill_ something; some_one_.

If I could cry now, I would be.

But, as I've stated before; if I could cry, I wouldn't be in this situation.

I yanked the plasma screen television off Esme's retched wall and ripped it in half with one, agonizing tug. I squeezed the jagged edges, wishing it could cut my skin. But, as suspected, the glass was what got the worst of the attempt, shattering even more, scattering at my feet.

I didn't care about what those... _things_ in the other room thought of my tantrum; they obviously didn't care about what I thought about _my_ love, _my_ life, being drained from everything I cherished close!

Did they not understand how much her heartbeat meant to me? How much the acceleration of her pulse when we kissed excited me? How I loved to see her blush when I said how beautiful she was? How the scent of her, although extremely tempting, was what I lived for? How her heart was not only beating for herself, but for me as well? How her much needed breaths meant as much to me as they did to her?

They were idiots, fools, ignorant brats, for taking that away from me in a _vote_.

"Where do you want to do this?"

Another surge of fury combined with agony erupted inside me, whirling my insides until I was sick.

"No! _No_! NO!" I screamed, running as fast as I could back to Bella. I leaned in close to her, holding my breath, something I hadn't done in almost a year. "Are you insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"

"Um, Bella," Alice interrupted. _Edward, calm down, please._ "I don't think I'm _ready_ for that. I'll need to prepare..."

"You promised," Bella said, almost pouting.

_Pouting._ She was _pouting_ because we weren't turning her into a vampire now! That's it, I'm taking her to Charlie, and I'm having her condemned. I can sneak in easily to see her whenever I pleased, so it wouldn't bother me at all. She needed the help desperately.

"I know... Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how _not_ to kill you," Alice protested. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was objecting to the entire situation entirely.

"You can do it. I trust you."

Did she not trust _me_? She's willing to put herself into the hands of someone other than me?

I snarled loudly, ignoring Alice's pleading thoughts. I was far past coherent.

"Carlisle?"

I couldn't control myself any longer; not in the thirst way. My hand flew out and grabbed Bella's pretty, demented head, forcing her to look at me. Even though it was meant to be rough, I tried my hardest to make it gentle. When she showed no evidence of pain, I held out my opposite hand to Carlisle, willing him to shut the hell up.

But, as usual with these morons, he didn't listen.

"I'm able to do it." I wished more than anything that I somehow lost my enhanced hearing; actually, loosing my hearing in its entirety would be convenient at the moment. "You would be in no danger of me losing control."

"Sofnds good," Bella attempted poorly at 'sounds good' between my tight, but not too tight, grasp on her jaw.

"Hold on." My tone was far past begging; I was 9 levels below that. "It doesn't have to be now."

"Therfs no reason for it to not be now."

"I can think of a few," I spat.

"Of coursh you can," she said acidic in return. "Now let go of me."

I obeyed, but only to fold my arms across my chest defiantly. I know, oxymoron, but I didn't care at the time. I was still too furious to care about anything other than Bella's humanity.

"In about two hours," I said pointedly, "Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police."

"All three of them," Bella countered sarcastically, glowering at me.

Her face softened as her gaze shifted from mine to nothing in particular. I could tell what I had said caught her off guard, and she was thinking of the cons of her idiotic decision, and not just the pros. I loved these moments; where I didn't have to read her mind to know what she was thinking.

"In the interest of remaining _inconspicuous_," I ripped my eyes from Bella's thoughtful face and onto Carlisles. "I suggest we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house."

And, at second best, never talking about it ever again. Yes, that would work wonderfully, too.

"That's a reasonable request, Bella," Carlisle agreed, thankfully.

"I'll consider it." She had her lips pursed in thought.

I allowed myself to relax at the knowledge of her _thinking_, no matter how coherent. At least she was making an attempt, much unlike before.

"I should take you home." I racked my head for an excuse. "Just in case Charlie wakes up early."

Bella only looked mildly hesitant, much to my pleasure. "After graduation?"

"You have my word."

Her face lit up in a smile, warming my cold heart, and calming down the fierce winds of furry that were whirling inside. "Okay. You can take me home."

With the permission, I whisked her away to safety; out of my mad house. I went for the back door, just to be extra careful so we wouldn't have a similar episode from her birthday...

I shook my head at the thought as I loaded her onto my back to exit. We were just close enough for me to here Emmett's distressed thoughts as he found the remains of my anger surge.

_My, God! He killed it! He killed it! To hell with you, Edward! I know you can still hear me! To hell with you!_

I suppressed a chuckle as I darted through the forest. I did feel bad for the loss of Emmett's favorite toy in the house, but, remembering his betrayal, it wasn't nearly as bad as I would have felt otherwise.

As we neared Bella's house, I heard that Charlie was still sound asleep. I dashed up the side of the house quickly, before gravity could yank my love and I back to our rightful spot on Earth's surface. I hopped through her window with ease, still being careful with Bella.

It felt right -- jumping through the window -- although it was forbidden by Charlie. I knew loopholes would mean nothing to him once he found me with his daughter, in her room, never mind the bed, alone. And then I would have to quickly explain why I didn't die when he shot me.

As I sat Bella down on her bed, I thought about the possibilities. Now, that I wasn't so infuriated, and knowing I had no choice, I could figure out a way to make this as easy as possible, as well as getting what I wanted, too.

But, what exactly did I want? I had Bella, the thing I had been pining for for the past half year; what else could I possibly ask for?

She had promised me forever, but was it really official?

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," she said very matter-of-factly. I prayed to God she was wrong.

"Shh. I'm thinking," I replied, almost absentmindedly.

She groaned and threw herself dramatically on her bed, tossing the comforter over her face. Now, how was I going to consider this huge subject and not be able to see her gorgeous face?

I slid down next to her, peeling back the quilt that she had buried herself in. I brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face, making it absolutely perfect.

"If you don't mind, I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand." Even longer. "Now... tell me something."

"What?" She wavered slightly, making me almost crack a smile.

"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"

She looked at me stupidly, knowing something was up. I just smiled, as if it would throw her off suspicion. She knew me almost as well as I knew her; sometimes I wondered if she was the mind reader. "You."

I shook my head, if she was going to keep giving me answers like that, this subject would go no where. "Something you don't already have."

She looked hesitant, skeptical, even. But she answered, all the same.

"I would want... Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want _you_ to change me."

Perfect! She was falling right into my little 'trap', I suppose. Ah, the gift of manipulation was grand. "What would you be willing to trade for that?"

She looked immensely shocked; her eyes rounded to the size of golf balls. "Anything," she breathed, sending her sweet breath my way. I was breathing again.

I smiled at the scent, I had missed it. I was glad my moment of furry had passed so I could enjoy her smell. "Five years?"

I watched as her face shifted into something along the lines of disbelief and terror. My smile faded completely.

"You said anything." I tried my hardest not to whine like a brat.

"Yes, but... you'll use the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human -- for me, at least. So, anything but _that_," she countered wisely, raising a daring eyebrow at me.

I frowned. Fine, I was willing to compromise. "Three years?"

"No!" was her immediate response. She didn't even give it any thought!

"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?" I snapped. If she didn't give her a reply a thought, neither would I.

She looked thoughtful, chewing on her perfect bottom lip carefully. A lip I hadn't kissed in so long... I was getting closer to doing so when she spoke up. "Six months?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. How had she taken five years and shorten it to six months? "Not good enough."

"One year, then," she compromised. "That's my limit."

I sighed, she was so complicated! "At least give me two."

"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere _near_ twenty. If you're saying in your teens forever, then so am I."

It was true; I was cursed to be seventeen for the rest of eternity. And women did have that touchy thing about growing old... I always thought that 28 would be the reasonable age to just stop aging, but, according to Bella standards, anything _not_ ending with 'teen' was too old.

I wanted Bella to be happy, and, the only way of doing that was to oblige. But, in my own way, of course.

"All right. Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one," Who _damns_ you to hell... "Then you'll just have to meet one condition."

Her eyes narrowed. "Condition? What condition?"

Skeptical as her voice was, she was just so cute at this moment. I froze this in my head, remembering to _never_ forget it, no matter what. No matter what her answer may be to the question I was about to ask. No matter what happened in the future. I would _always_ remember this moment in time.

"Marry me first."

The moment I asked Isabella Marie Swan to be my wife.

* * *

**A/N:** This story has been nominated for best POV! o.o' I'm shocked, really. And I'd like to know who nominated me! xD  
But, vote for me! Woo! (Link on profile!)

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It wasn't my favorite to write (minus the Edward-Tantrums, that was fun, haha), and I hope it didn't shine through..

Well, anyway, review!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All this genius belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not I.

_Only one more chapter to go..._

* * *

"Okay. What's the punch line?" Her eyebrows were raised in disbelief; I was getting tired of seeing that expression.

"You're wounding my ego, Bella." I sighed. "I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."

Her eyes flashed with something, I couldn't tell if it was anger or surprise. "Edward, please be serious."

"I am one hundred percent serious," I insisted, boring my eyes into hers. Why was she being like this? Did I have some unknown smile on my face?

"Oh, c'mon, I'm only eighteen," she said in a high pitched voice. Her face shifted into something along the lines of panicking, while her eyes widened.

"Well, I'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time I settled down," I countered, my eyes narrowing. Why was she objecting to be my wife? Did she not love me?

She forced her gaze to the window, chewing on her bottom lip with force.

"Look, marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know?" I could tell she was fighting to control her tone. "It was sort of the kiss of death for Renée and Charlie."

Getting married wasn't high on her priority list, but becoming a vampire was?

"Interesting choice of words," I mused, not referring to the 'kiss of death'.

"You know what I mean," she nearly snapped, her eyes scorching. She was panicking! I asked her to marry me, and she has a panic attack; not a good one either. Should this tell me something?

I took a deep breath and continued. "Please don't tell me that you're afraid of the commitment." There better be another reason for her to decline my offer.

"That's not it exactly," she replied, unclenching her teeth from her bottom lip. "I'm... afraid of Renée. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes; she was beating around the bush. "Because she'd rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married." A humorless laugh escaped my lips.

"You think you're joking," she pointed out, her features softening slightly.

"Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a martial union as opposed to battering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire..." I shook my head in disbelief, was she seriously declining my proposal because she was scared of her _mother_? She wouldn't have to put up with her mother for much longer if she goes through with this. I brushed away the thought quickly, not wanting Alice's vision from the Volturi to creep up on me.

"If you're not brave enough to marry me, then --"

"Well," she interrupted quickly, taking my words as a challenge. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?"

I smiled wickedly, "Sure." There was no way she was serious. "I'll get my car."

"Damnit," she mumbled in defeat, then looking back at me. "I'll give you eighteen months."

I decided to toy with her a bit more. "No deal. I like _this_ condition."

"Fine. I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate," she shot, her eyes narrowing into slits once more.

"If that's what you want," I said sweetly, giving her the most innocent look I could muster. Although I wasn't innocent, my vampire charm made this feat easy for me; I was a master at manipulation.

"You're impossible. A monster."

Knowing she wasn't serious, just sarcastic, I chuckled; this time it was full-heartedly. "Is that why you won't marry me?"

A groan erupted from her throat, and she threw her head back slightly. She was probably wondering something along the lines of 'why did I fall in love with someone so infuriating?'; which only made me laugh internally.

Pulling out all the charm I could manage, I leaned into her, breathing on her, as well as her scent. "_Please_, Bella?"

I was begging now, but I had no shame. I wanted to be her husband so badly, I was willing to do anything; even change her into the monster I feared her to become most.

Her eyelashes fluttered madly as she began to look distant, dazed, if you will. Even if it only lasted a minute, I felt so much more accomplished than when Emmett and Jasper were praising me earlier. It was a great feeling; knowing I had this effect on Bella, even after all this time. God, I loved her.

"Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?" I asked, still breathing on her. Her radiating body heat was slowly warming my core; it was invigorating.

"No!" she shouted, horrified. "No rings!"

_What in the world is Bella yelling about? What time is it? I should be getting up anyway..._ Charlie's jumbled thoughts spat, awakened from his peaceful sleep. He was finally at ease because his daughter had returned home, something he'd been waiting for for three days.

"Now you've done it," I whispered, my teasing nature still laced in my words.

"Oops," she breathed; her eyes wide.

I frowned. "Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave." I hoped I didn't sound hesitant -- but I also needed to get home and kill my family. Well, not kill in the literal sense, obviously, but they needed to see their wrong.

I heard Bella's breathing hitch as her heart began to beat irregular, and not in the good way, either. Her face twisted into despair, wrenching my heart even more than it already was.

"Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?"

"No. Stay. Please." Her tone was pleading, and she refused to let go of my hands that she had grasped; not that I was making any attempt of loosing it.

I gave her a smile and slipped into her closet; a place I hadn't hidden since last year, when I saved her from Tyler's spinning van.

I thought back to that morning, and how terrified I'd been. I'd barely known her, but I already knew she was special. When I saw the out of control vehicle hurtling its way towards Bella, I lost all thought. The only thing I could think of, however, was how the world would cease to exist without Bella. Or, more accurately, how _my_ life would cease to exist. Bella was my life before we even had a decent conversation.

I recalled being so scared to the point where I was numb back when James threatened my love's life. I cursed that day; the day Victoria came into Bella's life. But I also blessed that day; it led to me sucking out the venom that James had spit into my angel's blood steam. The taste of her sweet blood, the warmth of its life, in my mouth made me realize something that helped my control better than anything else I'd ever thought of.

It wasn't worth her life.

When I came back to the present, I watched silently as Bella and her father had a heated discussion about, well, me.

"You know you're in trouble." _Just take it easy on her. Be kind, but firm._ Charlie was executing his thoughts perfectly. His face was firm, but his eyes were soft.

"Yeah, I know," Bella replied, almost hesitant. There was regret on her face; or was it fear?

"I just about went crazy these last three days. I come home from Harry's _funeral_, and you're gone. Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when -- or if -- you were coming back. Do you have any idea how... how..." _Scared, angry, worried..._ Charlie's thoughts rampaged as he tried to think of a good enough word, but every word he could think of wasn't strong enough for the emotion I knew he had.

"Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?" In the midst of his thinking of how petrified he'd been during Bella's absence, he'd forgotten to be 'firm, but calm'.

I watched as Bella's eyes narrowed from the cracks of her closet door. "Because I won't go."

I couldn't help but to smile; there was the stubborn Bella that I loved!

_She can't talk to me like that! I'm her father!_ "Now just one minute, young lady --"

"Look, Dad," Bella interrupted. "I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too -- but that won't make me go to Florida."

Her words were rushed, and I knew she didn't mean everyone of them. Anger had the best of her at this moment; I knew she didn't want to get kicked out. She loved Charlie a lot.

_She's just like her mother. Calm down; don't turn this into a scream argument._ I watched as Charlie took deep breaths in order to follow through with his self-command. I was glad he wasn't one of those hot-headed men; he was just a father.

Finally, a few shades of red later, he was calm enough to speak again. "Would you like to explain where you've been?"

I frowned; I wished we'd discussed that with Alice _before_ she agreed to turn Bella into a vampire. Now my love was fretting, not knowing what to say.

"There was... an emergency." Her voice was surprisingly strong.

_Just wait for her to explain..._ Charlie thought, with a raised eyebrow and an expectant face.

Bella huffed greatly; combining her scent with the air around us. My eyes slightly clouded over in pleasure. It's hard to believe that the same thing would have driven me insane just last year.

"I don't know what to tell you, Dad," Bella said, defeat in her voice. "It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."

Charlie's thoughts were cagey. _Out of hand? She went fucking M.I.A.! I'd say that was out of hand!_

"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping of the cliff..." She trailed off, her eyes wide.

_She jumped off a cliff? When was this?_ Charlie's thoughts were sent into an askew of panic. Guess she never mentioned that tiny detail to her father quite yet.

"I guess I didn't tell you about that," Bella stammered when she realized what she had said. "It was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake."

Charlie's thoughts were still panicking over the fact that she had jumped off a cliff to think anything about swimming with Jake, the mutt. If anything, they were calmed. Did Bella do things with Jacob, the werewolf, that it wouldn't be weird if she went swimming with him? I knew they were friends, but I didn't know how close. My insides quivered with anguish.

"Anyway," Bella continued. "Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to... L.A., to explain in person."

Once again, her words were rushed, but I was surprised. She had kept the story as close to the truth as possible.

But Bella's words went one ear and out the other for Charlie. He was still trying to comprehend the fact that Bella had taken a dive off of a cliff. His reaction reminded me much of my own... I pushed the memory of the despair I had felt when Rosalie called. Even the memory alone tore my insides up.

"_Were_ you trying to kill yourself, Bella?" _I should have noticed the signs... She was so lifeless... It's all that boys fault!_

"No, of course not. Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing." I heard the hint of desperation in her voice, but Charlie didn't seem to notice. He wasn't as immune to Bella's poor attempts to lie like I was. And he also didn't have a few vampire advantages like I did...

_Edward. That boy has done everything to ruin my little girl's life. She tried to kill herself because of him! I don't care about what she says, I know the truth._ "What's it to Edward Cullen anyway? All this time, he's just left you dangling without a word --"

"Another misunderstanding."

I cringed; Bella's father was correct. I might have well killed her when I left, it would have gone easier on her... Those memories Charlie thought about when he saw me yesterday afternoon were horrible. Bella looked ill, like she was having a long-lasting out-of-body experience.

"So is _he_ --" Charlie hissed 'he' like venom "-- back then?"

"I'm not sure what the exact plan is. I _think_ they all are."

I wanted to smack her, did she still think that? After everything I confessed, she still thought I was capable of leaving her? I hoped she was only saying that for Charlie, and not what she truly thought.

Her father's head shook so hard I was surprised it didn't roll off of his shoulders. "I want you to stay away from him, Bella. I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I won't let him mess you up like that again."

I felt suddenly sullen at Charlie's words. Every bit of it was true. I _was_ rotten for Bella, more so than he thought. And, no matter what Charlie said, if Bella accepted my proposal, I would mess her up more than I did back in September. Hell, I would suck more than the life out of her, I would rid of her soul as well. The minute she becomes one of _us_, she'd be a monster. Just like me.

No. I couldn't allow that. Even if Bella somehow did become a vampire; I wouldn't let her become like me. I could never even imagine Bella so... soulless like myself.

"Fine."

My eyes widened in shock; did she really want to sneak around? It would be such a pain, but I would oblige for Bella.

Or... Could she be agreeing with Charlie's words, not only out loud, but in her mind as well?

I quickly shook the agonizing thought from my skull. Not after everything that was said this morning, I wouldn't believe it for the world.

"Oh." _Well...That was easier than I thought it would be..._ "I thought you were going to be difficult."

"I am," Bella replied; her tone set at the obvious. "I meant, 'Fine, I'll move out.'"

I was just as shocked as Charlie was; but not so much. His thoughts were thrown into a frenzy, they weren't even full sentences; words even. He didn't know how to reply, and it was evident on his face, as well.

Bella, seeing the reaction he was giving, quickly helped the situation. "Dad, I don't _want_ to move out. I love you. I know you're worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?"

I gaped at how easily turned the tables, she was now in charge.

"That's not fair, Bella," Charlie objected; his mouth was slightly ajar. "You know I want you to stay."

"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am." The confidence in her voice was shocking, but I didn't linger on that. Charlie's thoughts were getting more irate with every word she spoke, deepening the hole she was already in.

"Not under my roof," her father fumed, his face turning red again.

Bella sighed; I saw a small twitch of her eyes, signaling that she had rolled them. "Look, I'm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight -- or I guess it's this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."

I smiled; she had such a way with words. Well, for me, at least. But perhaps that was because I loved her so much.

"Bella --"

"Think it over," she interrupted, having no objections. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy? I _really_ need to take a shower."

_I can't believe my own daughter is treating me like _I'm_ the child!_ He scoffed as he exited the room. _Let's just see if she has anything to say when I inform her of how long she's going to be under house arrest!_

I flew out of the closet and perched on the rocking chair I grew so accustomed to. I sort of had an attachment to it with the knowledge that Bella was rocked to sleep on it when she was a child. I watched as Bella looked at me with first surprise, and then sheepishness.

"Sorry about that." Her tone was but a whisper.

"It's not as if I don't deserve far worse." I was still feeling upset over Charlie's truthful words. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."

Bella loved her father before I came along, and I didn't want their relationship to become strained all because I was a fool. It was family first.

"Don't worry about it," she replied swiftly, gathering her bathroom utensils. "I will start exactly as much as is necessary, and no more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?" Her eyes widened in mock horror, causing me to smirk.

"You'd move in with a house full of vampires?"

"That's probably the safest place for someone like me," she said with her lips twitching. "Besides... If Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need for a graduation deadline, is there?"

My smirk disappeared and formed a tight line. I fought the growl that wanted to erupt from me. "So eager for eternal damnation." I was mainly speaking to myself.

"You know you don't really believe that," she stated simply, her face showing no fear.

"Oh, don't I?" I was fuming now.

"No. You don't."

I glared at her. She didn't know what she was talking about.

I started to say this, but she spoke before I could. "If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra," She paused slightly, allowing the memory to flood back, "you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't -- you said '_Amazing, Carlisle was right_,'" She flashed me a triumphant smile. "There's hope in you, after all."

I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. She'd beaten me at my own game. I didn't want to say she was right, because there was still doubt in my mind. And I didn't want to say she was wrong, either, for the same reason.

Then, I realized something bizarre. I _did_ have a soul. People who didn't have them couldn't possibly love anyone. I thought back to how I was before Bella; bored, zombie-like, and dark. All the points of a soulless bastard. But then Bella came into the picture. Suddenly I was happy.

Bella is my soul.

"So let's both just be hopeful," she continued, realizing that I had nothing to say. She had finally rendered me speechless. "Not that it matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven."

Passion coursed through me as I stood, walking towards her slowly. I placed my hands on either side of her warm, serious face, boring my gaze into her own. "Forever," I managed to force out. The passion I was feeling was currently making me speechless, as well as her last words.

"That's all I'm asking for," she whispered, leaning closer to me and pressing those beautiful hot lips against my own.

Bella was my soul, my life, and, most importantly, my heaven.

* * *

**_Just a bit of fun...  
_**

"What did the T.V. ever do to you, Ed?" Emmett whined, pointing to the blank space on the wall where the television had once been.

I smiled wickedly at him. "Nothing. But _you_, however, voted yes to Bella becoming a vampire."

Emmett scowled, throwing his arms over his broad chest like a child. "Is it so bad that I'll miss her too much if she leaves? So, all because I was just a _little_ selfish, you destroyed my only full-proof source of entertainment?"

"A little?" I snapped. "You call damning Bella to a never ending life being a _little_ selfish? Emmett, hoarding the remote to yourself is being a _little_ selfish, not this!"

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about me hoarding the remote to myself anymore! Considering the contraption is useless, thanks to your outburst!" Emmett countered, glowering at me.

"Oh, grow up. How old are you now? Ninety?"

Apparently, Emmett was sensitive over his age, because the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the floor with him on top of me.

We wrestled around a bit, nothing too dangerous, but nothing too comfortable, either. I had my arms around his neck, while his hands were holding onto my torso, attempting to yank me off. We were grunting, and probably looking like two boys fighting over a ball on the playground.

_Edward! Get off of your brother!_ Esme silently scolded as she came into the living room. She cleared her throat in order to get Emmett's attention, but neither of us acknowledged her.

"Boys!" She finally cried when Alice and Rosalie were drawn to the commotion. "We can always get another television!"

We separated reluctantly, scoffing, due to our pride. Esme sighed in annoyance, as well as our siblings.

"Seriously, Edward, you're one to talk," Rosalie sneered. "You're the one that needs to grow up."

"Oh, go look into your mirror or something, Rose! Leave him alone. He's had it hard as it is without Emmett jumping all over him!" Alice snapped, her eyebrows narrowing her eyes.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that! She was only stating a well known _fact_," Emmett countered, jumping up.

After that comment, we all, with the exception of Esme and Jasper, broke out into an argument. Unfortunately for my mother, Carlisle was at work, so she was basically helpless with ceasing the bickering.

Suddenly, I broke out in a huge smile, causing the three of my siblings to slow to a stop in confusion.

"What's so funny?" Rosalie demanded.

Her harsh tone didn't phase my smile; I'd grown immune to her bitterness over the years.

"As irritating you all are, I missed you dearly."

Rosalie's face softened, Alice smiled, and I felt Emmett throw his muscular arm over my shoulder.

"We missed you, too, Ed," Emmett said, adding booming laughter.

Alice nodded, her small frame bouncing. _We really did._ She always preferred to speak to me in her thoughts, so I wouldn't get annoyed when she edited.

"I never got the chance to thank you," I said to her. "If it wasn't for you, Bella and I wouldn't be together right now." Alice nodded happily in agreement once more, _You're welcome_. I then turned to Rosalie. "And you, too."

_Are you serious?_ Surprise over took her usual arrogant features, her eyes frantically searching my face for a sign of sarcasm. Finding none, she breathed in with relief. "Well, Edward. I know how this may sound, so, please, don't take it the wrong way, but I'm glad you finally answered my call. Even in the situation, it was nice hearing your voice."

And, just as soon as it came, her face went hard. "But don't think I'm happy that you and Bella are together again."

I sighed and shook my head. "Of course not. That would be asking too much."

That statement caused yet another disagreement between us, but this one was short-lived. I felt the familiar calming sensation wave fall over me, and our yells turned into silence.

"Will all three of you please keep it down? You're more emotional than a angsty teenager!" Jasper said, suddenly appearing at the stairs. He had an odd smile plastered on his face.

I felt Esme's arms slip around me in a hug. I looked down to see a huge grin on her young face. "Welcome home, Edward."

* * *

**A/N:** Yay for getting it out so soon! :D  
Sorry about the short-ness of this chapter; I've spoiled you with the last few ;)  
The next chapter will be the longest, as well as the last :(  
It's hard to say that... Lol.

Anyway, I have a challenge, if you will, for you!  
I want everyone who has put this story on their alert and/or favorite list to review!  
It'll make me really happy :) Even if all it is is 'Great chapter', or whatever.

Remember to go vote for this story at Twilight Awards! (Link on profile)


	14. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing; it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

_THANK YOU, CHELSEA! -lessthanthree-_

* * *

The memories of those days in Italy were etched into my mind, where they would reside for the rest of my never ending life. I could never forget the fear in Bella's eyes, or the tears that ran down her face after she heard the screams of the innocent crowd. It pained me to know that Bella would never forget those moments either, due to her talking furiously in her sleep about the misfortunate events. But I knew, with time, they would soon pass over. Time was one thing we had, it wasn't something we needed. If I stayed in this mental state of mind, we had forever.

Almost immediately, life in Forks became as if we had never left. Alice and I were in school once more, and in decent shape to graduate, thanks to our grades before, and Jasper's tinkering with our transcript. Bella was worried about her calculus grade, considering she'd missed it went she came to rescue me, but I wouldn't let her suffer for something that wasn't her fault. So, much to her objection, I helped as much as I could with her work and extra credit.

Our minds where in two completely different areas. Mine was set on college, and Bella's was on becoming a vampire. Despite all my attempts, Bella refused to apply to college. She was expectant of being turned after graduation, overlooking my proposal. So, knowing from past experience, I knew to be consistent with the applications. I was grabbing every possible one, some in remote areas, and others where the population was high. I was also adding the one I really wanted her to apply for to the sack everyday, but she never noticed. I doubt she even noticed that it was the one that was always on top.

While Bella saw the stacks of application annoying, Charlie saw them as an attempt to kiss up. He still scoffed about what I did to his daughter, and I didn't blame him. He had grounded Bella from anything out side of school and work, only allowing a certain amount of visitation rights. I didn't have the heart to tell Bella she wasn't grounded for her actions about leaving without calling, like she thought, but mainly hoping I would get bored and leave. I didn't want another argument to stir between the two; they had been on decent terms lately.

I knew that Bella was desperately trying to talk to Jacob Black, the werewolf she had befriended in my absence, but he wouldn't return any of her calls. I knew she called him, because Charlie would always be thinking some pleased thought about how there was still a chance between the two, even when he was refusing to communicate with my love. I knew it aggravated and hurt Bella, so, in turn, it aggravated and hurt me, as well. As much as I didn't want her conversing with the mutt, I wanted her to be happy. She hid her feelings from me, but I knew when she was trying to hide something.

So, I wasn't surprised that one Saturday afternoon, when I picked her up from work, she lost her temper.

"It's just plain rude!" She began angrily ranting about how she had attempted to reach Jacob by phone, only to get a cold response from Billy. I had to keep my anger in check in order to not promise myself to hit this Jacob Black the next time I encountered him; it certainly would not make Bella happy.

"Billy said he didn't _want_ to talk to me," she nearly growled, glaring at the window, as her eyes traced the rain that was streaking it. I suppressed a smile, I couldn't help it. She was so cute when she was worked up.

"That he was there," she continued, not noticing the firm line I had to press my lips into in order not to laugh, "And wouldn't walk three steps to get to the phone! Usually Billy just says he's out or busy or sleeping or something, but at least it was a polite way to handle it. I guess Billy hates me now, too. It's not far!"

How could she ever consider that someone could even come close to hating such an amazing person like herself?

"It's not you, Bella. Nobody hates you." I disliked knowing that the reason of her fretting boiled down to me, but I would have to get used to it. Now that I was back in Bella's life, there was no running away; not this time, not ever.

"Feels that way," she mumbled, folding her arms across her chest and sinking lower into the passenger seat of my Volvo, mimicking a sulking child perfectly.

"Jacob knows we're back, and I'm sure that he's ascertained that I'm with you." I was trying to make her feel better, but I was only provoking the hurt furthermore. "He won't come anywhere near me. The enmity is rooted too deeply."

"That's stupid," she scoffed, still sulking. "He knows you're not... like other vampires."

She didn't understand the concept of mortal; better yet, _immortal_, enemies. It was more than a school yard rivalry; it was in our nature to hate each other. It was in our nature to do more than hate, but, luckily, Carlisle is a peaceful man, and thought of a treaty so he could reside without risking his life.

"There's still good reason to keep a safe distance," I replied, keeping my tone light for her sake. She was silent, so I peered at her out of the corner of my eye. She was glaring at the road like it had done some horrible wrong to her. A brief look of confusion was tinted over her features.

"Bella, we are what we are," I said hesitantly when she didn't reply. "I can control myself, but I doubt he can. He's very young. It would most likely turn into a fight, and I don't know if I could stop it before I k--" I stopped at the wrong selection of vocabulary, then continued quickly, with hope she didn't notice. "Before I hurt him. You would be unhappy. I don't want that to happen."

"Edward Cullen, were you about to say '_killed_ him'? Were you?" She hissed, answering the question of whether or not she'd caught on. Her face was hard and angry, so I looked away quickly, unable to take in her death glare.

I was stunned by her look; it was the harshest one she'd ever given me. So much so, that I barely recognized the newly turned green light. I wasn't completely sure if green meant go, but no one else was coming from either side, so I gently, and slowly, lurched forward.

Honestly, I'd expected a more of an understanding reaction from her. She'd known werewolves and vampires were enemies even before she knew they existed. She shouldn't have taken the term so lightly, when it was so serious.

"I would try... very hard... not to do that," I finally choked out, structuring my words carefully, in order to justify myself, but also not hurt Bella anymore.

"Well," she began, taking a deep breath. "Nothing like that is ever going to happen, so there's no reason to worry about it. And you know Charlie's staring at the clock right now. You'd better get me home before I get in more trouble for being late."

She turned and attempted a smile, her eyes suddenly filled with wonder as they searched my face. I was about to return her smile, but her father's thoughts filled my head.

_Is she trying to kill me? Thank God Jake brought the bikes over to show me! Such a good kid -- not like that boyfriend of hers. If I didn't believe that she was suicidal before, I certainly do now! She knows better than this!_

"You're already in more trouble, Bella." I informed her in a whisper. What the hell did that _dog_ do?

"What? What is it?" She asked in a panicked voice, sliding closer to me. She grasped my cold arm with her warm hand in terror as she searched the road before us.

"Charlie..." I said, slightly hesitant.

"My dad?" she asked confused. I looked down at her with a calm mask, which seemed to make her relax slightly.

"Charlie..." I began again. "Is probably _not_ going to kill you, but he's thinking about it." I drove slowly past the Swan household and parked near the dense forest cover.

_Where is that stupid bloodsucker? He better not be... Oooh, I'd really like to rip that leech apart. He doesn't deserve Bella..._

I ignored the natural response to just kill him and turned to Bella. A blanket of terror was over her features as she stared at something beyond me. I followed her gaze to a red motorcycle and frowned. Who was Jacob Black to bring this to Charlie's attention? Did he want Bella to get cut off from the outside world completely? Did he want Charlie to _die_ from a heart attack? Or Bella, for that matter. From the sounds of it, her heart was about to burst from her rib cage.

"No! _Why_? Why would Jacob do this to me?" She gasped in dismay. I bit my tongue to reply; I'm sure Bella wouldn't appreciate me telling her that he was nothing but a dog. She didn't move as she stared at the motorized bike with her wide doe eyes. I felt pity towards her, and, as suspected, extreme anger towards Jacob.

"Is he still here?" She hissed. I could smell the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. I was growing even more furious with this werewolf as the seconds ticked by. How could he be so careless as to make my angel cry?

"Yes. He's waiting for us there." My voice was hard as I nodded towards the path his thoughts were radiating from. It was all I could do not to run in and lunge for his throat.

Before I could stop her, she lunged out the car, making a beeline for the path Jacob was residing in. I was frozen in amusement at her tiny balled fists, but knew I had to stop her before she hurt herself. I stepped out from my seat and caught her with ease, not even a few seconds after she took off. As much as I hated to admit, Bella made being a vampire worth while. I don't know how I would even survive stopping her from doing something foolish if I were human.

"Let me go!" She shouted, her eyes wild with anger. She never tore them away from the trees. "I'm going to murder him! _Traitor_!"

"Charlie will hear you," I warned. I checked to see if he already had, but he didn't. "And once he gets you inside, he may brick over the doorway."

She shot a look at the house while trying to struggle out of my iron grip. As suspected, she was unsuccessful. "Just give me on round with Jacob," she practically begged, still fuming. "And then I'll deal with Charlie."

I suppressed a chuckle at the imagery of Bella latching herself onto Jacob and attempted to drag him on to the ground below. I shoved it out of my head when it came time that Jacob dominated her and... Well, I didn't want to think about it. He was capable of crushing her, being a mere pup.

"Jacob Black wants to see _me_," I informed her. "That's why he's still here."

She stopped struggling immediately and the color drained out of her face. I wondered what she was considering. Did she think I would kill them? As tempting as it was, I would never do such a thing in front of Bella. She was still suffering over the loss of the group of strangers; I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would do to her to see her best friend die. Even if he was a werewolf.

"Talk?" She asked warily.

"More or less." If it weren't for Bella and that stupid treaty, I knew we would dive for each other's throat viciously. But, since Bella was here, and the treaty was still intact, there would only be verbal attacks.

"How much more?" It was as if she was reading my mind to an extent. I knew she was mad at him, but that didn't give me any right to picture his death so freely; even if he was doing the same for me. Only his thoughts were mostly angst ridden -- he cared for Bella a lot.

"Don't worry," I comforted, brushing the hair away from her face. "He's not here to fight me. He's acting as... spokesperson for the pack." I had to select my choice of words carefully; I doubted Bella would find much humor as I did in the pun of him being the bitch.

"Oh."

I turned towards the direction of Charlie's impatient voice coming from the house, but Jacob's were more urgent. I'm sure Charlie could stand to be put on hold for a few moments more. Although, I could send Bella inside right now, but it would be easier on me _not_ to kill the dog with her there.

"We should hurry. Charlie's getting impatient," I pressed. I lead her into the woods were Jacob Black was currently residing; he wasn't deep into the thicket.

I saw him leaned against a tree with an angry expression. _Why the hell am I the one doing this? Stupid Sam. Stupid pack. Stupid leech. Speaking of which..._ He stood and sneered at me, his eyes coal black in anguish. _Ugh. Just looking at him with her makes me..._ I saw him trembling, which I knew was a sign he was going to phase. I knew he wouldn't, though. He may have been young, but he knew the difference between safe and danger; I'd give him that much.

I stopped about ten feet away from him, going with my better judgment and keeping Bella behind me. I felt her peer from behind me to look at her friend. I felt her body unstiffen, probably feeling much different once she laid her eyes on him. Bella was a caring person, she'd never let something, no matter how big, get in the way of a relationship; whether it was friendship or more. She had, after all, forgiven me for the unthinkable.

"Bella," Jacob greeted my love with a nod. _If that bloodsucker would get out of the way... God, I missed her..._ His impatient thoughts shifted into sorrow; I pitied him for a moment.

"Why?" Bella choked out; I could hear the tears in her watery voice. "How could you do this to me, Jacob?"

Jacob's face softened significantly, but somehow remained hard. "It's for the best."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean? Do you want Charlie to _strangle_ me? Or did you want him to have a heart attack, like Harry? No matter how mad you are at me, how could you do this to _him_?" Bella choked out the last word; out of the corner of my eye, I saw she had a face of remorse.

_I didn't think of that! Man, I'm an idiot! I only wanted her to get in trouble so she couldn't see the leech anymore!_ Jacob thought with a wince, making his eyebrows form his childish eyes into slits.

"He didn't want to hurt anyone -- he just wanted to get you grounded, so that you wouldn't be allowed to spend time with me," I explained softly. The look of pain on her face was almost too much to bear; how could he do this to her?

_Shut the hell up!_ Jacob's thoughts screamed as he shot a loathing look at me. _Damn that mind-reading leech! Can you hear me now? Leave Bella alone!_

"Aw, Jake! I'm _already_ grounded! Why do you think I haven't been down to La Push to kick your butt for avoiding my phone calls?" Bella moaned, huffing in slight annoyance.

He tore his boring eyes from my own and looked at Bella. Confusion was laced over his features, as well as his thoughts. _She is? Well, that does explain a lot. I thought it was that leech._

"That's why?" The moment he uttered the words, he clamped his mouth shut. _Sam said this was a meeting; not a personal affair. But, man... I missed her so much._

"He thought _I_ wouldn't let you, not Charlie." This mutt better be more selective with his words if he wanted Bella to understand. I wasn't too happy about translating them.

"Stop that," he demanded in a bark.

I didn't reply; he wasn't worth the breath of my reply. Besides, I needed to stop breathing soon. His stench was getting to be too strong.

_Oh, so now you don't have anything to say?_ _How about you leave her alone? What do you have to say about that? Everything was finally getting normal again -- I was so close!_ "Bella wasn't exaggerating about your... abilities," He growled through clenched teeth. "So you must already know why I'm here."

"Yes. But, before you begin, I need to say something." I stated softly; this was going to take a lot of my energy. The monster inside of me was screaming to kill this enemy, it was telling me to let my instincts take over. But the human part of me; the part the Bella had strengthened over the past year told me to show this child how a man should be.

I pushed out his threatening thoughts so I could gather my own. I held back the urge to heave a sigh, or take a deep breath. I didn't want his smell to invade my senses. It was already strong without me inhaling it vigorously.

"Thank you. I will never be able to tell you how grateful I am. I will owe you for the rest of my..." Life? No. "Existence."

And then Jacob Black's mind went blank. Slowly, he became coherent again. _What are you talking about? Did Bella put you up to this?_

"For keeping Bella alive," I answered his unasked question. "When I... didn't."

"Edward --" Bella tried to intervene, but I cut her off with the wave of my hand. I wanted Jacob to give me a raw response, not one shaven down due to what Bella said.

_I kept her alive for my sake rather than yours; I still don't get what she sees in _you_,_ he sneered internally. Realizing he was leaving Bella out of the conversation, he said, in a much softer tone than his thoughts. "I didn't do it for your benefit."

"I know," I replied swiftly, rising an eyebrow. "But that doesn't erase the gratitude I feel. I thought you should know. If there's ever anything in my power to do for you..." I trailed off, catching myself a moment too late. I knew his reply before it even crossed his mind.

_You could _start_ with leaving Bella alone._

I shook my head in defiance. "That's not in my power."

"Whose then?" Jacob snarled, baring his teeth a little. He was so juvenile.

I looked at Bella fondly. "Hers. I'm a quick learner, Jacob Black, and I don't make the same mistake twice. I'm here until she orders me away." I never took my eyes off of my love as I said this, and she didn't either. She had a distant, dazed look to her as she peered into my eyes.

"Never," she whispered, her lips twitching in a smile.

_I wish she would look at me like that..._ Despite his thoughts, Jacob made very convincing gagging noises. His old appearance was contradicting next to his actions; on the outside he may look twenty, but on the inside he was still that annoying teenager that has yet to grow up.

Bella's eyebrows furrowed as she tore her gaze away from mine. I saw her cheeks tug downward, signaling a frown. "Was there something else you needed, Jacob? You wanted me in trouble -- mission accomplished. Charlie might just send me to military school. But that won't keep me away from Edward. There's nothing that can do _that_. What more do you want?" Her voice was edgy, but, at the same time, soft.

Jacob still fixated his eyes on me, they were smoldering with hate. "I just needed to remind your bloodsucking friends of a few key points in the treaty they agreed to. The treaty that is the only thing stopping me from ripping his throat out right this minute."

I had to stifle a snort; this _adolescent_ thought he could kill me? Together with his pack, perhaps. But alone? He didn't stand a chance. His mere 16 years had nothing on my 108.

"We haven't forgotten," I said quickly.

At the same time, Bella spat out, "What key points?"

_So you didn't go into detail about the treaty, leech? I should have known. Making promises you can't keep._ "The treaty is quite specific. If any of them bite a human, the truce is over. _Bite_, not kill." He shifted his hateful glare to Bella, getting rid of the hate, but keeping it cold.

Bella's usual warm face went cold in hard; an expression I rarely see on her. I cursed Jacob Black internally for having this affect on her. "That's none of your business," she snarled.

"The hell it --" _Ugh! I hate you, leech! You hear me now? Do you fucking hear me? I hate you with every single breath I take!_ _You can't do this to her!_ Shivers and trembles erupted from inside him as he fought hard to control his extreme need to kill me. His thoughts were thrown into a frenzy.

"Jake? You okay?" Bella asked, panic laced in her voice.

Much to my dismay, she started to take a step toward the out of control werewolf. I grabbed her, probably too roughly in my panic, and dragged her behind me. "Careful! He's not under control."

_Shut the fuck up!_ Jacob had regained most of his composure, but his thoughts were still harsher then necessary, even coming from a werewolf to a vampire. "Ugh," he spat, "_I_ would never hurt her."

For the first time that night, I returned his glare, adding a hiss as well. This _dog_ had no right to bring it up; Bella's friend or not. This was _my_ relationship with Bella, not his, and not anyone else's. She was _mine_. I knew that I made a mistake; I would never forget it, never.

_What are you going to do?_ He taunted, balling his fists. He still wasn't under control. One wrong move and Bella could get hurt. _Attack me?_

Before I could respond, Charlie's voice thundered from the house. "BELLA! YOU GET IN THIS HOUSE THIS INSTANT!"

I was surprised; having tuned Charlie out. Bella was frozen in fear, I'm sure her father had never spoken to her like that before.

"I _am_ sorry about that," he mumbled, his words full of remorse. "I had to do that I could -- I had to try..."

"Thanks," Bella snapped sarcastically. She stared down the path, her eyes searching. For her father, I presumed.

Then I remembered something that was more important than any silly treaty, or the immature, hateful thoughts Jacob was currently sending my way; Bella's life.

"Just one more thing," I whispered to Bella so she would stay still for a few moments more. I turned to Jacob, trying to keep my face as civil as possible. "We've found no trace of Victoria on our side of the line -- have you?"

_Yes, but she got away._ He thought, but then decided to go into detail out loud for Bella's sake. "The last time was while Bella was... away." _Thank you for that, too, bloodsucker._ "We let her think she was slipping through -- we were tightening the circle, getting ready to ambush her --"

I felt Bella freeze; her eyes were wide with fear. She truly did care for Jacob.

"But then she took off like a bat out of hell," he continued. "Near as we can tell, she caught your little female's scent and bailed. She hasn't come near our lands since."

I nodded once, ignoring the snide comment about Alice. "When she comes back, she's not your problem anymore. We'll --"

"She killed on our turf!" Jacob protested in a hiss. "She's ours!"

But she's _my_ love, not yours, Jacob Black.

"_BELLA!_ I _SEE_ HIS CAR AND I _KNOW_ YOU'RE OUT THERE! IF YOU AREN'T _INSIDE_ THIS HOUSE IN _ONE_ MINUTE...!" Charlie roared from the front door. I was sure the entire county could hear his booming voice without amplified hearing. His thoughts were growing more irate as the seconds passed.

"Let's go," I suggested, hoping she'd listen. If she wanted to have any freedom at all, it would be wise. I wasn't afraid of her getting her visitation hours taken away, I could sneak in the house easily; I just didn't want to loose any time I had left with her.

She looked back at Jacob with a devastating look; her eyes showed her indecisiveness.

"Sorry. Bye, Bells." _If you hurt her, leech, I swear to God I'll rip you apart so quickly --_

I cut off his empty threats. They were unnecessary; I would never hurt Bella again. The only way, like I stated earlier, that I would leave Bella is if she asked. I prayed to God she wouldn't ever, but, at the same time, I hoped she would. I desperately wanted her to decide that she didn't want to become a vampire, but I lost all hope in that idea as time passed. She was so determined...

"You promised. Still friends, right?" Bella's voice sounded on the brink of hysteria as she stared Jacob down, awaiting his reply.

_Not if you're near that scum._ He thought sadly as he slowly shook his head no.

I heard a small, strangled cry come from my angel's lips and her eyes quivered.

"You know how hard I've tried to keep that promise, but... I can't see how to keep trying. Not now..." _Look what else you did,_ he internally sneered. _I'm loosing the one person I care about more than life itself._

Bella outstretched her arm, reaching for him in despair. Her face twisted into some unknown pain as she stared at Jacob.

_Look at her, Edward._ I was shocked he had said my name. _Look at how she loves me. She's going to kiss me, you know._

I watched in horror has my love stepped toward the mutt slowly. Jacob continued taunting me; telling me how he was going to kiss her... How he was going to touch her.

Anger swelled inside me at the imagery of him pressing his lips against Bella's. I yanked her back to me, holding her close. I wasn't going to allow such a thing to happen in my presence. The dog was clearly suicidal.

"It's okay," Bella protested, looking up at me with an attempt to be reassuring.

I just clutched to her tighter, glaring at Jacob, pouring out every ounce of hate I could muster. "No, it's not," I growled.

"Let her go," Jacob snarled. _She won't object, you know._ "She _wants_ to!"_ If you won't let her go, then I'll get her myself._

With that thought, he strode closer, growing excited with every inch that was closed. He was trembling; though this time not in anger, or fear, but in glee. He'd been anticipating this kiss for a long time, and, now, with me here, he sees it as his perfect opportunity.

I shoved Bella behind me, being as careful as I could in my state, and whirled around to face the young werewolf. If he was willing to fight, then so was I. But he would have to make the first move -- no way was _I_ going to be responsible for the broken treaty.

"No! Edward --!"

"ISABELLA _SWAN_!"

"Come on! Charlie's mad!" Bella panicked, tugging on my sleeve, trying to get me to not attack her friend. Her friend that seemed to think they were something more. Even the fact that she had a boyfriend, for lack of a better term, didn't cross his mind. He was unstoppable. "Hurry!"

I gave Jacob a cold smile as I collected Bella and retreated to her house. Even though I knew he wasn't going to follow us -- he was pushing the boundary lines as it was -- I kept an eye on him, just to make sure he didn't try anything.

I watched, and listened, as he came to realize how close he had been to doing the one thing he'd wanted to do since the day he met Bella down at the beach. He turned his head quickly, but not before I saw his face twist in agony.

I ripped my gaze from him and turned to Bella. Her face looked almost blank; there was just a hint of thoughtfulness played across her features. She was chewing on her bottom lip madly in anticipation for what ever was awaiting her inside her house.

As we exited the woods, I caught a glimpse of Charlie's expression -- if I didn't know better, I'd think he was choking. His thoughts fumed with strings of words that didn't make any since, not even when I attempted to pick them apart.

I watched as the color drained from my love's face as her own eyes landed on her father. I gave her a reassuring squeeze and leaned in close to her. "I'm here," I whispered, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

That seemed to be enough, because, with that, she drew in a sturdy breath, blowing it in my face, causing me to be dazed for a few moments. She straightened her posture and held her chin high, now striding towards the awaiting time-bomb of a father.

Have I ever mention how much I loved her?

After Charlie demands I'd leave before he shot me, his thoughts proving he was as serious as they come, I got into my car slowly. He refused to begin talking, or, screaming, at Bella until I was a safe distance away, so I was trying to stall, giving Bella enough time to ready herself for the hell she was going to get.

I wished there was some way I could help her, but I knew there was nothing I could do. The only thing I could do was love her, love her until her last breaths circulated her lungs, and even beyond that, if she got her way.

As I was driving off, I heard a distant, yet familiar thought. I clutched the steering wheel, willing myself not to pull over and ridding of the pain. What would Bella think? I repeated to myself. The thoughts drained away as I became a further distance, but they echoed in my mind, refusing to leave.

_I will do it, someday, leech. Just you wait. And then Bella will tell you who she really wants -- me._

* * *

**A/N:** Well, this is the end... After a month of working, I am sad to say it's over.  
It's funny because, at first, this was only going to be a side-project. It was only going to last the Italy trip itself; I thought it would only be 4-5 chapters long.  
But, as usual when it comes to myself, I changed my mind and extended it. And I'm glad I did!  
I just broke 100 reviews today! That makes me really happy :)

I want to thank Chelsea, _Shining Eclipse_, for cheering me on everytime I got fustrated with Edward. If it wasn't for you, this story would have been left unfinished not even half way through. This chapter would also not be up so soon ;)

By the way, I will be doing Eclipse from Edward's POV, just not right away. The teaser, however, will be up shortly ;D  
EDIT: It's up :) Don't forget to review this! :P


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